Leaving

[Guest]

My parents got divorced when I was younger.
Im now 18, and a senior in high school.
But I'm miserable at home. I have never felt more unhappy, unloved, mistreated, unwanted, useless, that im a waste of space. Etc.
And this is at both houses. And they have no respect for my privacy. They go through everything. Ive tried sittting down and just having a mature, adult conversation. But they refuse to listen. It just ends in them screaming at me.
I spend all of my time at home in my room, because I just dont want to be around my family. All I feel like I do lately is cry.
The other night, I seriously consider suicide.
I want to move in with a friend. And my friends family is more then willing. I just need to get out. Im at the point where Im scared of myself and what I might do.
There's just one problem; Yes Im 18 and legally an adult. But I heard in my state, which is NH, that as long as I'm in school they can say I dont have permission to leave.
My question is, 1. Can I legally go live with my friend even though Im still in school without their permission? Since im 18. And 2. If I do this, they can refuse to fill out stuff for Finacial Aid, Student Loans, etc. when Im applying to college? Which im in the process of doing now. My future is VERY important to me. I dont want to screw myself over. But I cant beare living here any longer. I just dont know what to do. Or what I CAN do.

[ccsmod0]

Re: Leaving

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us here at The National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are having a pretty bad time and we are sorry to hear that. Being unhappy at home can be extremely difficult. We are here to try and help the best way we can.

Have the issues with your parents been going on for a long time? Do you think it’s something recent that may have made all of this worse? Have you thought about counseling for yourself or with your family? Sometimes this can really help out. Is there someone at school that you can talk to about what is happening like a counselor or teacher? It sounds like you have at least one pretty good friend. Does he/she talk to you about what is going on to sort out your feelings or coping mechanisms? If you’re comfortable with it, telling your friend about how you have been thinking about suicide may help so that you can openly discuss it with someone. If you would like, you can also call The National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They can discuss with you how you have been feeling regarding the suicide and possibly come up with ways to make yourself feel better in those bad times. If you are ever really worried about what you might do to yourself you can always call 911.

As far as your moving out goes, we are not legal experts so we cannot guarantee anything. But as far as we can say, at 18 you are a legal adult like you have stated. Which means regardless of in school or not you have the option to go where you think is best. But they can refuse to sign your papers; they can do this even if you are at home. This may be something you can bring up to an advisor at school who handles your college applications. You can also call out to a local college and talk to a financial advisor to get their opinion on what you can do if that turns out to be the case. To make sure of any of this it may be a good option to call some legal aid. Here are some phone numbers you can try:

-Legal Aid and Referral Center: (603) 224-3333 or (800) 639-5290 (toll-free)
-New Hampshire Legal Assistance: (603) 431-7411

You can also talk to the local police in your area and they can let you know what the law in your area is.

We hope this is helpful to you. Again if you are ever scared that you may harm yourself you can dial 911. We would like to hear from you here at 1-800-RUNAWAY so that we can talk further about your situation and any other options you may have. We are 24/7, anonymous and confidential. Also free from a pay phone. Hope to talk to you soon.

Good luck and take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: Leaving

Its been going on for about a year now. And yes, Im sure recent events have played a factore into this. Everything has just been escalating, and now Im just at the point where I cant take it anymore. I dont think its fair to me, to have to deal with this and be so unhappy. Especially with the stress of applying to colleges, my senior project, working a part time job, etc. Its too much stress on me. And its effecting my school work. Im always grounded, and never get to see my two best friends. Who are really my only support right now. Which just makes me even more depressed.
I have considering counseling, and when I brought the idea up to my mom, she refused and said I didnt need it. I have a car, and would just bring myself. But I just dont have the money right now unfortunately. I have also tried talking to counselors at school, and this has not helped what so ever. All they do is tell me to try and communicate with them, and tell them how I feel. I have tried every way possible to communicate what Im feeling to them. They wont listen when I try to calmly talk to them, so i write a letter. Thinking that then they will be forced to listen to what im saying. Didn't work. It only mad them madder.
And yes, my friend is absolutely amazing. Ive sat down and talked to her mom about me leaving there. They love me like their own daughter. I consider them more of a mom and dad then my own. But just this past weekend my mom called them and said that I do not have her permission to live there and if I go there, they are to send me home. They want to help me in anyway they can, they just dont know how. They dont want to get in any trouble. The whole suicide thing, I used to think I'd never have the guts to do it. But it seems like everyday I think it would be easier then I thought. I cut. Its not something Im proud of, believe me. Its the only thing I can do to actually feel in control of atleast some aspect of MY life.
I just want to leave. Im sick of crying myself to sleep every night. But if i leave, ill most likely be screwing up my future. I have big dreams for myself, that I plan on achieving them with the best possible education. I need college, which means I need my parents finacial help. But I also need to be happy, so i can make it to that part of my life.
Every answer I try to come up with for my problem just seem like a lose, lose situation for me.

[ccsmod2]

Re: Leaving

Thank you again for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard; it’s very difficult to reach out to someone when in an unsafe or undesirable situation and we’re glad you contacted us. We can’t tell you what to do or give any advice but what we can do is try to find resources that can further help you.

It sounds like you are in a very tricky situation and we’re sorry to hear that it is now effecting your school work. You said that it’s not fair to you and you’re right, it’s not fair to you. Everyone deserves to be in a safe environment and it sounds like that’s not something you have right now. Do you get to see your two friends while in school? It must be difficult or frustrating to hear the counselors at school tell you to continue trying to talk to your parents when you’ve already tried that several times.

It looks like we previously gave you some numbers for legal aid resources, have you had the opportunity to call those? What did they say? Unfortunately, we aren’t legally trained so they would be able to provide you with the best answers concerning your legal rights.

You also mentioned that you have begun cutting. How often do you cut? Have you told anyone else about it? We’re sorry to hear that you are under so much stress right now and that it’s having such a negative impact on your life.

You said that you wanted to attend college but that you need your parent’s financial support to do that. Have you talked to anyone at the college you wish to attend concerning possible financial assistance? You also mentioned that you are currently working; do you think that your employer would be able to provide you with any assistance?

If you need to leave and don’t want to stay at your friends house, we can try to help you find shelter or another safe place to go. We are a 24 hour hotline and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Please call us anytime you need anything. We look forward to hearing from you.

~NRS