How far would police go to find me?

[Guest]

North Carolina

so I’m 17 and I’ll be 18 in 8 months my mom always brings guys in and out of our home I left when I was 14 and ended up living with my best friend till I was 15 her mom won the court case against my mom and won a little guardian ship over me they started acting/ treating me different so I left and moved back with my mom everything was going fine then we moved to North Carolina because of her boyfriend( they aren’t together anymore) I met my boyfriend 2 months later she uses my boyfriend against me when I don’t want to do anything she says she called a b*tch and called me selfish when I didn’t want to give her money to give her and sisters money to get food I’m trying to save up for college and the job I had could only support me but she doesn’t use it on food she gets them outside food and uses the rest of the money to go to the gym or wherever she goes. my boyfriend has given her maybe $900 $600 was used for a down payment for a house then she wanted To stay in a hotel and asked him to pay for it and she’s asked him for gas money more than twice when I don’t want to do anything she tells me I can’t see him but this past summer I basically lived with him and he’s taken me to summer school so I could graduate early and she moved back to NY and wants me to go and I don’t want to. She makes it seem like im a terrible child when I’m not I haven’t done drugs or gotten myself into trouble with the law. She said I’m not aloud to see my boyfriend or get into contact with him she also says I’m not a loud to hang out or sleepover at my friends house I’m a senior in High School and I’m 17 I want to run away so much more things have happened

[ccsmod4]

Reply: North Carolina

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
The situation you described with your mother sounds quite frustrating.
You do not deserve to be called those names and treated poorly by your mother.
It is not your fault that this is happening.

It sounds like you have a plan for your future that involves college and relocation. Good for you.
Sometimes things can be overwhelming but having a goal to focus on could be helpful while trying to cope with your situation. Having a support base can also be good, your boyfriend sounds like someone that has been there for you.
We hope contacting NRS in some way helped you to vent some of those frustrations.

If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Well I'm almost a straight a student and everything just comes crashing. Down as teachers lose my work, and life seems very unfair so.... I have been planning my great escape for a few years now,slot will be taken in action soon!

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things haven’t been going well for you lately. You mentioned that you have been planning your escape for a few years now, having a plan to ensure your safety and security is very important. You could contact us directly if you would like to discuss those plans. Please feel free to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), via email, or live chat.

[Guest]

Im. 15 but i dont wanna live here with my adopted parents anyore because i dont like being here an i wanna be in a better househd with good parents but
im on probafion for 6 months but i dont have a P.O so if i leave will i get in trouble cause my friends mom treats me like her son

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS via our forum! We hope our response will be helpful. If we weren’t able to give you the answers you were looking for, calling into our safeline could help us better understand your situation.

You mentioned being adopted, it must be really difficult to have to live in a place that you aren’t happy. We’re glad to hear that your friend and the friends mom is supportive and treats you like family. While we’re not legal experts, but you are considered a minor until you turn 18. Different states have different laws regarding runaways. Some don’t arrest runaways, in some states if you runaway multiple times, then they can arrest you. Since you’re on probation, which may change the outcomes entirely, and create more legal problems for you. We offer a conference calling service, youth call into our safeline and we call their local police station to ask them what their protocols are. That way, we make sure we’re getting you the answer to your legal questions, right from the source.

In our database, we also have resources to legal aid offices. They may be able to find legal options for you to be able to move out of your adoptive parent’s home or have your custody changed to your friend’s mom. If you’d like to further explore those resources, please, give us a call!

Again, thank you for reaching out to us! Our safeline is open 24/7, if you’d like to talk more about your situation and possibly brainstorm other options, please don’t hesitate to call us.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

if I run away at 16 how long are the police going to try to find me ? And will they eventually stop ?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us through our forum! We appreciate you taking the time to post on it and we hope our response will be helpful. If you ever wanted to talk more about what’s going on that’s making you look into runaway laws, we are always here to talk.

You mentioned wanting to know what happens when youth runaway, being 16 years old. Since it’s considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, you wouldn't be arrested for running away. What would mostly happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. If your parents/guardians think they know where you might be and tell the police, the police may go look for you in those locations.

Given that we are not legal experts at NRS, we offer a conference calling service. Youth call into our safeline, and we call out their non-emergency police station. Then we can ask those questions regarding their runaway protocols, just to make sure we're giving you the correct answer. Once you turn 18 years old, that runaway report kind of disappears.

Sorry, we weren’t able to give you an exact answer, since we are not legally trained. We are always here to try to get a more exact answer to your questions and we are also here to talk more about your situation. We’re open 24/7, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

I ran away from home and I’m 17. I live in Kansas and I turn 18 in 10 almost 9 months. My family may have called me in , but do you believe that their even going to look hard for me at all? And what’ll happen after I turn 18?

[Guest]

I’m 17 turning 18 in 9 months and I ran away . I live in Kansas and they don’t look very hard for me . Is it something I could ride out? And if so, what happens when I turn 18?

[ccsmod1]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and to support.
It sounds like you are wondering about what the action of the police will be in your situation. We are not legal experts, we can speak generally. Typically if you are under 18 you would be returned to your parents if the police were to find you. Some counties may not take a runaway report for someone that is 17 or close to turning 18 but the only way to find out would be by contacting your local police and asking how they handle runaway reports. It’s hard to say how much they would look for you because it would depend on the action taken by your parents.

Once you turn 18, you would be considered an adult and generally speaking the police would not return you. Your parents could still file a missing person report instead of a runaway report.

If you want to speak your situation more directly or you want help calling out to your local police station, don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hello
I honestly hate my life and everything that's around me. I'm depressed and have zero friends and nobody cares about me. My mom keeps trying to control my life and what school I go to, what college ill go to, and I even believe who I'll marry. ITS not the worst situation in the world but I can't take this place here anymore. I can't explain it and it's the strangest thing, but I want to run away out of the country. I have friends that would take me in and a plan and everything. Would the police look for me? Would they put an alert on my passport? The whole journey takes about 6 hours. I really need help. Ihave my heart almost set on leaving.

[ccsmod15]

Hi, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and we are glad you reached out for help before leaving. There is a lot to consider.
It must be so difficult to feel your mom is controlling your life and making choices of where you’ll go to college and who you will marry. It makes sense that you are wanting to get away from this control and are feeling so depressed. You said you have no friends, but also said you have friends you can stay with so maybe you do have people you can reach out to even if they don’t live nearby.
In most states here in the USA, 18 is the legal age of adulthood when you can move out and live apart from your parents. We are not legal experts, but if you are under 18 and leave home without parental permission, your parents could file a runaway report which lets the police know you are gone. It isn’t a crime to run away, but any adult 18 or older you stay with could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway, which is something to keep in mind. If your parents do file a runaway report, if the police come into contact with you, they typically return you back home.
It sounds like home is really hard when you feel so depressed and like you have no friends there. That must be really isolating. If you are ever feeling like you may hurt yourself, or you want to talk more about the feelings you are having, you can call or live chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are 24/7 both on their website’s chat and their phone.
You might also consider speaking to a therapist to discuss the feelings you are having and the control you feel from your mom. SAMHSA is a resource for finding a therapist or therapy group in your area: samhsa.gov, 1-877-726-4727.
We are available by phone 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and can help you find more resources like therapists or shelters in your area and discuss options you may not have previously thought of. We want you to be safe and feel well again. Give us a call anytime or live chat on our website between 4:30-11:30pm CT every day!
You are really strong for reaching out. You are not alone. We are here to help!

[Guest]

I recently took a plane to Florida using cash my best friend Gave me to get me out of my crummy life, but I'm scared the police will come and arrest my friend who is letting me live with him.. I gave up my phone and card.. But I haven't given up my computer.. Am I safe from them tracking me and putting me back into my abusive dad's house

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We want to acknowledge the bravery you have displayed in coming forward about your situation on this public forum. Hopefully we can respect your bravery by helping you out in this difficult time.

We’re glad you have supportive friends that provided you with the means to leave what sounds like an unhealthy and abusive home life. We want to invite you to contact us either by phone (1-800-786-2929) or email ([email protected]) if you would like to process some of these abusive experiences. We are here 24/7, and we are non-judgmental.

We also understand the stresses you’ve been dealing with as a runaway youth, particularly when it comes to avoiding the police. It seems like you’ve done a lot to avoid them, but it sounds like you still may have some anxieties about police interaction. These steps seem like productive measures to avoid the police. However, we are not lawyers, and we don’t know what steps police in your area may take to search for you. It may be helpful to minimize your time outside of the home, and you may wish to avoid applying to anything that requires a background check or a check on your SSN. Of course, avoiding crime involvement also may help deter police interaction.

Hopefully this was helpful for you. If you need further assistance or resources, please feel free to contact us.

-NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 years old and live in Utah and I’m running away to California. My parents won’t look for me there. I’m running away with my friend and I don’t know what to do she’s also 15. We have money,a ride, and a place to stay at but I’m having doubts because I don’t want my mom scared

[ccsmod0]

Hello, thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have everything planned out, about running away but you are concerned about your mother being upset. It is very considerate for you to think about your mothers feelings. You seem like a kind person who is just trying to figure out what steps you want to take next. Since you mentioned that you are worried about your mother being scared, one thing you can do is to write her a letter when you leave. Leaving a letter might provide her with some sort of comfort.
Additionally if you want to talk more about your plan to things that you can put in your letter you are more than welcome to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

I've been having a really tough time at home im a preteen and i was wondering if i ran away how could i survive??

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,
Thank you so much for contacting the National Runaway Safeline and for sharing your question. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult situation. Reaching out is a great first step to try and improve the situation.
At the National Runaway Safeline, we are non-directive which means we cannot tell you what to do, but we can provide information and help you identify and talk through your options. If you were to run away from home, you would need a place to stay. Oftentimes runaway youth are able to stay with friends or other relatives. Shelters are sometimes an option but probably would not be recommended for a preteen. Beyond a place to stay, other things to think about include having food to eat and continuing your education. You may be able to earn some money through side jobs (e.g., babysitting or mowing lawns) which could help support yourself. Finally, if you did run away from home, your family could file a runaway report and if the police find you, they will most likely take you back home. These are some things to think about if you did decide to run away.
We will be best able to help you by understanding more details of your situation and talking it through. You can reach us through our phone hotline or digital chat service. You can call our telephone hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We also have a chat service that is available through our website daily from 4:30- 11:30pm CST. Other people who might be able to help include counselors, teachers, or trusted adults at school or friends or other family members.
While we don’t know exactly what you’re going through, nobody should have to suffer unnecessarily. Take care of yourself and we look forward to chatting with you further.
-NRS

[Guest]

If I ran away and my phone is on and I have service can the cops track down a phone number and find me ??

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

We can try to answer the best that we can. So this isn’t something that we have a ton of experience with, so we can’t give you a definite answer on this. What we do know is that, if you are on your family’s service (ie. family plan), they will always have access through the phone provider to see which calls your making and for how long. Some providers even make it so that they have access to other information such as text and contacts. So they might not be able to “track your signal” and find you, but can track you other ways.

Hope that information helps!

[Guest]

Hi, things have been hard at home for me for years, but just recently they've gotten a lot harder. My mom told me that if I was waiting until 18 to move out, I didn't have to, I could move out now (I'm 17). When I gave her the news that I did in fact want to leave she said I couldn't. I already have a plan to move out now though, I just got a job and have various offeres of locations to stay. I told my mom last night that I was leaving and she said she would report me missing. Is reporting someone missing and reporting a runaway the same thing? Could I myself get in trouble? I told her they wouldn't do anything and she said she'd say their was drugs, prostitution, and or sex trafficking involved (which there is not!!) When she said those things I worried about getting the people I would be staying with in trouble. I know they can get in trouble for helping me, but how long would all that take? Also, wouldn't my mom just be the one getting in trouble by lying and making false accusations? Would her saying those things make it a priority for the cops to find me? If you know any other websites or helpful sources I could use please let me know

[ccsmod11]

Hi, and sorry for the delay in replying.

First of all, thanks for reaching out; your situation at home seems pretty difficult, and we’re sorry to hear that it’s gotten even harder recently. At least it’s good to know that you have friends offering places to stay.

At 17 you’re still a minor, so for all purposes if you leave, your mom can report you as a missing youth (or runaway – it’s the same). If she has an idea of where you may be, the Police has to go after you and bring you home. But to tell you the truth, unless she’s really insistent, they will rarely put a whole lot of effort in finding a 17 year old; especially in a big city where they have many things going on. Running away is not a crime, and if she claims things like drugs, prostitution, etc., the Police would quickly realize that those are not real. While this varies a little from state to state, 17 year old runaways are usually not top priority for the Police.

But you’re right: your friends could get in trouble for “harboring a minor without parental consent”, which is consider a crime, depending if your mom decides to pursue it legally.

The best way would be for you to try to get her permission to leave… Maybe you could talk to her when it’s not a “crisis time”, possibly with someone else there to keep things neutral and objective, and get to an agreement. Hopefully that sounds doable!

Please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you want to talk about it further. We’re here for you 24/7, to listen and to help. Best of luck in your situation!

[Guest]

Hey so i have been wondering if I can run away at the age of eleven? Thank you!