almost 18 graduated I need to move out HELP!!

[Guest]

Hello there,

Please help me as much as possible. I am in quite the situation here. I live with my mom in Ohio, she has full custody and my father lives in 2,000 miles away. My father is basically out of my life. My mother has always created a very unstable environment for me (moving twice a year, mentally abusive, not helping support me except putting a roof over my head I have to but my own clothes and food). I am going to be 17 in less than a year and I have graduated from high school with a 4.0 GPA and honors. Over the summer I lived with My best friend and her family and now they have moved to another state. My dilemma is that I want to move out. Where my best friend has lived I would be living in a stable supportive house, have a full time good paying job, a car, and the college i want to go to is only 10 minuets away. This environment will be way healthier for me and I will be able to save up a lot of money and go to college. The problem is that my mom will be ok with me moving out one day and not the next, one day shes says she loves me and needs me then next day I am worthless and an accident. I cant take the instability anymore, All i want is to make something for myself. If I love out and she is OK with it but if while i am already moved out and she changes her mind WHAT CAN SHE DO? Could police really come and take me away even with how close to 18 i will be? Ohio has no Emancipation laws either. Please help me, I just want to go to college and get a real job and not have my mother keep pulling me back in life.

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Re: almost 18 graduated I need to move out HELP!!

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us for support. It must not be easy for you to live a life that always lacks in consistency. We want to help and we want you to know that we are always here to listen to you. You are always welcome to call here at 1800RUNAWAY, 24 hours 7 days a week. We are confidential and anonymous. It sounds like you have a lot going for you in terms of schooling and you seem grateful for what your mother has done with providing you a home. However, it is not fair to you for who you are treated and it does not excuse any action on her part when she puts you down.

You seem to have a good sense of what you wish to see happen for yourself and living with your friend sounds like it will perhaps be a place that you can get the support you are not getting at home. However, it can be a bit complicated if your mother is not on board and is in full agreement with your choice to live elsewhere. Have you thought of getting her permission in writing? By what you've described, it sounds like she is capable of changing her mind with ease.

Your mothers reserve the right to call the police if you do not have permission to leave. Do you trust that she will not call you in if she decided to change her mind when you are gone? It sounds very complicated. We certainly empathize with indecisions made. What if the option to stay with friends some days was discussed with her?

If by chance you did leave and she called the police, it is usually police discretion for what they do when you are found. Generally, you are taken back home if they caught you. The risk you may run is getting people you stay with charge for harboring you. It is not illegal to runaway because the most you get is a status offense as a minor but the people you stay with can get in legal trouble.

What are the chances of you staying home and waiting it out? It seems like such a troubling situation to be in but you also sound very resilient. We hope to hear from you if you are able to call to speak to one of us in person. We are all trained the same way so you can speak with any of us on the line to help you figure things out further. Stay strong. Good luck.

-NRS