No announcement yet.

17 y/o MtF transgender woman living with friend

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • 17 y/o MtF transgender woman living with friend

    Hello, I've been living with my long-time friend's family for about 6 months now, and my verbally and mentally abusive father has threatened several times to call the police and force me back home for the express purpose of putting me into a non-accepting environment, confirmed directly verbally multiple times to multiple people.
    It's been a major, major stressor in my life, and from what research I've done, I'm about 90% sure that he would need to obtain a court-ordered search warrant in order for any police officers to enter the home to force me home.
    Is there anything I should know about this situation? I turn 18 in about 4 months and live in the state of Iowa.
    This family has been wonderful to me; I've kept good attendance at school and my job, they provide good local food and a bedroom, all utilities, etc., and are very accepting of me. I've quite honestly never been happier than since I moved out, and going back to my family is absolutely NOT an option.

  • #2
    (If you are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

    Hi there,
    Thanks so much for reaching out to us. While we're glad to hear that you have found a safe and accepting home, but that doesn't take away from the fact that your father is not accepting of who you are and has created an unsafe household. We're with you every step of the way.

    Since 18 is the age of majority in Iowa, technically your dad could call the police and have them bring you home for the next four months. However, since you are so close to turning 18 the officer who handles your case might not choose to follow through especially if they know you are happy and taken care of where you are. There is always the possibility. The way to know for sure is to call your local non-emergency police and share what is going on without giving away personal details and ask how they might handle your case if your father files a runaway report with them. That way you can be fully prepared for any possibility.

    We also have to let you know that if a runaway report is filed there is a possibility that anyone over the age of 18 could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. Again this is just a possibility and might not apply since you are so close to turning 18. If you choose to call the police you might consider asking about this possibility. The Iowa statute on harboring a runaway as we understand it is as follows:

    "It is a crime for any person to harbor a runaway child with the intent of allowing the runaway child to remain away from home against the wishes of the child’s parent, guardian, or custodian. However, the crime does not apply to a shelter care home that is licensed or approved by the Department of Human Services. A person convicted of a violation is guilty of an aggravated misdemeanor. The parent, guardian, or custodian has a right of action against any person who harbors a runaway. Iowa Code §§ 710.8- 710.9 (2017)."

    If you ever find yourself without a safe place to stay or feel like you are ready to move out of your friend's house, please reach out to us and we can help you find safe and comfortable resources for both long and short term or help you come up with a plan to be successful on your own.

    If you have any other questions or concerns or just want to talk, we would love to hear from you. The NRS is available 24/7 via online chat at or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon and best of luck!
    -NRS Crisis Team
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif, webp