im 13 can my 23 yr old sister try to get custody of me?

[Guest]

im 13 i live in ma. im going to be 14 in june. i've been having lots of trouble at home. my dad is very verbally abusive and hes made me suicidal. im not in any intimate danger. last night i had a rlly big mental breakdown and i called my therapist because of it. basically what happened last night was i got really overwhelmed and wanted to eat dinner in my room. my dad got very upset about it and told me i am just a child and i shouldnt be making my own decisions. after a little back and forth he finally let me go upstairs to be alone i got invited down to eat when my parents were done eating. my dad got angry when i tried to go back upstairs, he told me i had to spend time with them and wasnt respectful about the fact that i had been thru a lot yesterday. last night on the phone my therapist was saying that nothing can really happen with my family. i told her how i wanted to break my adoption and we discussed some things. she said emancipation may be an option but we're both unsure of the emancipation laws in ma. she said that some kids are taken out of their homes by dcf if their parents are physically abusive but my dad hasnt hurt me yet. i then told my therapist that i really wanted to live with my sister because i knew i would be safe there and nothing bad could happen to me there. i told the therapist that i really just wanted to live with someone else and she really tried hard with me to work something out. she brought up the idea of me being able to stay with my sister a few times a month if my parents are comfortable with it. were gonna discuss this idea at our next family therapy session. if i asked my sister if i could live with her what can happen? can my sister legally take custody of me? idk ab any of the laws ab custody and things like that. i've been wanting to leave my home for 4 years now and i really wanna break my adoption but i dont think its an option here in ma. do you know about any laws? i really need to leave my home and be somewhere i feel safe and comfortable.

[ccsmod10]

im 13 i live in ma. im going to be 14 in june. i've been having lots of trouble at home. my dad is very verbally abusive and hes made me suicidal. im not in any intimate danger. last night i had a rlly big mental breakdown and i called my therapist because of it. basically what happened last night was i got really overwhelmed and wanted to eat dinner in my room. my dad got very upset about it and told me i am just a child and i shouldnt be making my own decisions. after a little back and forth he finally let me go upstairs to be alone i got invited down to eat when my parents were done eating. my dad got angry when i tried to go back upstairs, he told me i had to spend time with them and wasnt respectful about the fact that i had been thru a lot yesterday. last night on the phone my therapist was saying that nothing can really happen with my family. i told her how i wanted to break my adoption and we discussed some things. she said emancipation may be an option but we're both unsure of the emancipation laws in ma. she said that some kids are taken out of their homes by dcf if their parents are physically abusive but my dad hasnt hurt me yet. i then told my therapist that i really wanted to live with my sister because i knew i would be safe there and nothing bad could happen to me there. i told the therapist that i really just wanted to live with someone else and she really tried hard with me to work something out. she brought up the idea of me being able to stay with my sister a few times a month if my parents are comfortable with it. were gonna discuss this idea at our next family therapy session. if i asked my sister if i could live with her what can happen? can my sister legally take custody of me? idk ab any of the laws ab custody and things like that. i've been wanting to leave my home for 4 years now and i really wanna break my adoption but i dont think its an option here in ma. do you know about any laws? i really need to leave my home and be somewhere i feel safe and comfortable.

First off, we're very thankful you reached out to us about all of this. It sounds like you've been through a lot and your family has been making things harder, rather than easier. Even if you are 13, you deserve to have some agency over your space and time, and it sounds like your dad was being inflexible and not respecting what you needed.

It's good that you reached out for help during this time of high emotion. It makes sense that you're looking for a way to make a change. Here the information we can provide regarding emancipation and the other legal questions you asked:

In MA, the laws surrounding emancipation are very vague. They do not specify who is eligible for it or at what age, but it is a possibility. Judging by how most other states handle it, you would likely meet with a judge with your parents, and you would need to demonstrate that you can financially support yourself without their help. This would likely require that you have a job and the means to fill all your own basic needs, pay for your own housing, etc. If this interests you, contacting a legal aid specializing in family law, or your local courthouse, could be a good place to start to learn more about the process.

If your sister wished to, she could make a claim for your custody. It would require her to work with a lawyer to negotiate with your parents. This process can be time-consuming as well as expensive. As a result, even if she wants to, it might be difficult for her to make it happen, and likely wouldn't be an overnight turnaround.

As far as "breaking" your adoption goes, unfortunately that is not really an option. While we believe that your experience matters, and the choices surrounding your life should consider your desires and needs, as a minor you do not legally have much power to determine where you live or who has/doesn't have custody of you. If you were to work with your sister and a lawyer you could build a case for why your custody should be transferred to her, and hopefully whatever judge is overseeing it will take your experience into consideration.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful, even if somewhat disappointing. If you want more information, or want someone to vent to about what's going, please don't hesitate to contact us again. You can post on this forum, text chat us at 1800runaway.org, or call us at 1-800-786-2929 to speak to a member of our team who will listen, and care. We are on your side.