Im 14 an i need help

[Guest]

Hey i was reading the other things on here and i could really use some help. My parents wouldn't give me a phone and it was really unfair. Both of my siblings had phones ones a year younger one a year older. So i snuck a phone and they got mad and they found stuff on it that didn't belong to me because someone had it before I did and my step mom is trying to get me charged with breaking and entering with a account under my name. Then she tried to get me to leave. She made me sit at the table and then she started cussing me out and told me to leave then she said she was gonna give the police pictures of me to report me missing when she told me to leave. I really need the legal info on this like how i can move out and choose where I get to live and to live with people that care about me. Can I get emancipated. what would that entail. What other ways can I get out of this house without going to a foster home or something and without moving schools. Thank you so much I really appreciated.

[ccsmod5]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right now with life at home with your stepmom. We are sorry to hear that home isn’t a place where you feel supported and loved. It sounds like you are trying to obtain some independence but this has been challenging.

You ask very great questions regarding your options on how to best deal with this situation. You mentioned thinking about leaving home and going to stay with a friend. While we do not blame you for wanting to leave the situation and are glad you have supportive friends, we do want to mention some things so you can make the best decision for you. So, although we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can do our best to offer some suggestions about your question of leaving home before turning 18 years old: If you go to stay at a friend’s house without parental permission for over 24 hours (the exact timing depends on which state you live in), you parents could potentially file against your friend’s parents with something called “harboring a runaway.” This is a legal term for kidnapping. Might sound extreme, we understand. If your parents don’t know this friend and do not know where to look, they could also file a missing child report to their local police department. Law enforcement will collect basic information about you that will go into a national database, and they can then return you home in the event you are found.

That being said, we can offer temporary youth shelters for you in your local area, but given your age, your parents may still need to consent for you to stay there. If you call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or reach out via chat at 1800runaway.org, we’d be happy to provide those resources for you.
If you still do decide on leaving, we want to acknowledge that it’s great you are prepared with bags and clothing. One thing you may want to think about is what else would you need if you were to leave home? Any medical records, identification documents, birth certificates, etc., that may be helpful to have for the future if you do not return home. If you take medications, perhaps bring them with you as well as any other valuable items that are yours. We’re sure you have already thought all this out, too, but if you do decide to leave, perhaps tell a trusted friend or relative of where you intend to go and please be cautious and place your safety as utmost priority (if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.

You asked about emancipation which is a great question, as well. Emancipation makes a minor youth a legal adult before they reach the legal adult age (this varies from state to state). While we are not legal experts here at NRS, it is important that we inform you that emancipation can be a costly and lengthy process. In addition, to become emancipated in most states (not all states offer emancipation), a youth must be able to prove in court that s/he can take care of her/ himself financially, s/he have a place to live and are mature enough to care for her/himself. In any case, if you would like to be provided with more options or would like more information do not hesitate to reach out to us at the NRS chat at 1800runaway.org or the NRS phone number at 1-800-786-2929.

Another idea is to consider if there is anything that you can change right now to reduce time spent at home. Perhaps, join an afterschool program or sports team to reduce the number of hours you have to be home or find an activity or even job that could give you more freedom and less time spent at home. Many towns and cities have organizations such as a “Boys & Girls’ Club” (www.bcga.org or (404) 487-5700 or YMCA ((732) 290-9040) which is a place where you can meet people your age afterschool, enjoy your time, but remain away from home until later in the evening. This may allow you to meet new people in a way that seems “normal” to your stepmom who may be more controlling when it comes to where and who you can spend time with. In other words, you can obtain freedom by doing it in such a way that mom doesn’t feel entirely threatened.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS