16 and pregnant want to runaway with 21yo brother

[Guest]

Hi I'm from Oregon, I found out I'm pregnant 13 weeks ago. My mother hates me and my brother, she's been repeatedly emotionally abusive with both of us and she's been physically abusive with my brother. I'm afraid of what she'll do if she finds out I'm pregnant so I want to run away with my brother He's 21, he has money and a job and we have a plan of where we're going to live. There are a few issues: I don't know if we can do this without telling our mom, I don't know if there's any documents I need, and he also has abused drugs for the past 4 years (he's clean now) and I don't know if that would affect things. Help?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,




Thank you for contacting us--we are so glad you reached out. It takes courage to ask for help and are here to help guide you through your journey.




It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time at home and in your personal life. No one deserves to be treated that way; especially by those that should be your loving family.




It also sounds like you are handling this situation the best you can and are asking some great questions. We are glad to know that you have an adult brother who can provide some financial support and safe housing.




Any pregnancy is stressful, especially without a supportive mother, so we’d like to share a resource should you have any questions about your pregnancy called Planned Parenthood. Their resources and online chat can be found at https://www.plannedparenthood.org/ or by calling 1-800-230-PLAN.




Although we are not legal experts here at NRS, a few things to keep in mind when thinking about running away. If you are under the age of 18 years old, then if you were to run away, there is the potential that your mother may file something called a “missing child” report to local law enforcement. This is a fancy legal term for your mother to share your name, age, basic description which will then be stored into a national database so if you were to run away, or the cops were to search for your brother and/or if law enforcement found you, then could then notify your mother and return you home.




Also, if you are under the age of 18 years old, depending upon your state of residence, your brother could be charged with something called “harboring a runaway” which is a formal term for kidnapping. Although it is your brother that would be caring for you and not a stranger or friend, each state varies per law. So, we would recommend contacting a family attorney in your local area to clarify on this.




You asked about documents to bring which is a great question and shows you caring about your safety! We would recommend you bring any identifying documents such as a birth certificate, driver’s license/permit, passport, student ID, any state-issued ID, and medical records (immunizations, past visits, etc). Plus, perhaps consider bringing along all your most valuable possessions in the even that you may not return, or your mother may dispose of your items should you not return.




In addition, in terms of your brother’s past use of substances, we are not legal experts here at NRS, so we would encourage you to reach out to a local attorney who could guide you on your specific state laws as it pertains to that.




We realize this is all so much to consider and you are doing a great job trying to create the best life for you mentally and physically. We are here to help answer any further questions you may have. Do not hesitate to reach back out to us via the online chat, email, and forum at https://www.1800runaway.org/ or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.




We wish you the very best,

NRS Team