Moving out at 17 in California

[ccsmod3]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help—that takes a lot of bravery. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right now with life at home/ We are sorry to hear that home isn’t a place where you feel supported and loved unconditionally. You deserve to feel safe at home and it sounds like this is an extremely painful time during the holidays to create a boundary with your parents.

You ask very good questions. Although we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can do our best to offer some suggestions about your question of leaving home before turning 18 years old in 3 months. If you go to stay at your boyfriend’s house without parental permission for over 24 hours (the exact timing depends on which state you live in), you parents could potentially file against your boyfriend’s parents with something called “harboring a runaway.” This is a legal term for kidnapping. Might sound extreme, we understand.

If your parents don’t know your boyfriend and do not know where to look, they could also file a missing child report to their local police department, like you mentioned. Law enforcement will collect basic information about you that will go into a national database, and they can then return you home in the event you are found. Because you turn 18 years old rather soon, some law enforcement may not invest as much time in attempting to find you compared to a younger youth. Again, this is truly all depends on your city and state and how involved your parents are. You also mentioned wanting to be emancipated, but often that process will take longer than the number of months until you turn 18 years old. Again, we’re not legal experts. Once you are 18, however, you are then legally considered an adult in the state of California.

All that being said, you have your own free will. Some other options worth mentioning are temporary living arrangements that are housing shelters were youth can stay for up to 1-3 months. Because you are 17 years old (and almost 18 years old in a few months), you may be able to stay there without parental permission. It sounds like you are doing your best to inform your parents of where you reside and of your safety, but a temporary living arrangement could be an option in the event that they refuse for you to stay at your boyfriend’s home.

We’re sure you have already thought all this out, but if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,

NRS

i am 17 and turning 18 in early march. i graduate high school in may. i left my bay area home about two weeks ago and am now in the valley with my boyfriend and his family. my parents and i dont be seeing eye to eye, we argue a lot and i feel like my actions are never enough, i know they love and care for me and i feel the same way for them but i dont like living under their roof, they treat me like a child and dont give me freedom, i want to be my own person get a job get my own place. ive applied for jobs both here in the valley and here in the bay and i know ill be working atleast 30 hours a week soon. my mom said she filed a missing persons report even though i told her and my other relatives what city im in and that im safe, but i looked online and didnt find any reports with my name. i want to get emancipated but dont have the money for it and dont know where to go. i was going to wait until im 18 to move out but we had a big fight and thats when i left home. What should i do next? its christmas time and i feel bad but a big part of me just doesnt want to go home otherwise i wouldve went already.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like you've had a difficult time lately, and we're sorry to hear that.

Assuming the age of majority in your state is 18, leaving home before your 18th birthday could pose some risks for you or anyone who allows you to stay with them, including any roommates you have over the age of 18. One way around this is to try and get parental consent before leaving, but if your parents don't agree, there is no way that you can legally prevent them from calling the police--they would be within their rights to file a missing persons report or a runaway report if you leave before you're legally considered an adult.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on, or continue to explore some of your options with our support, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY, or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org.

Take care.

NRS

Help me!!
Im 17 and I have many mental health issues along with being the child of a narsissitic parent. I messed up and got into a lot of truble a few months ago and my parents are making my life a living hell. I have a plan to move in to a place a few hours away from where they live and i have roommates enough money to support rent and deposit for a few months till I can start my job in the new city. is there a way that i can legaly prevent them from calling the cops to tale me back. they wont know where I will be but I still dont want my roommates to get in truble or to be taken back to their house. What can I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and sister. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering. There are Transitional Living Programs that can provide resources you may find helpful, but you will likely need your mom's permission to be eligible before you turn 18.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

i'm really in a bad spot right now and i cant take living in my apartment anymore. Im currently 17 and will be 18 in around 9 months. I have no job or money (my family isn't well off at all) and my mom isn't that supportive of me having a job and my grades are horrible due to stress and depression so i'm at a loss. i've tried multiple times to get my mom to sign me up for therapy or to try and help me go to the dmv to get my driving permit/license or state ID . basic things i need to start up my life when i leave at 18 (although now its clear that i most likely will be leaving sooner than that). no words can describe how frustrating this is im trapped with my two younger siblings who make my life a living hell and not just in a "haha cmon its just your younger sister cut her some slack" my sister who is 14 is verbally and sometimes physically abusive and uses me whenever she gets the chance, she also makes fun of my disability and my eyesight? its the most obscure things she will point out and antagonize me for. my question is , without having any money is there a program that offers shelter to runaways in the anaheim area that can help set up a job for me??

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear that your parents are not respecting your boundaries or creating an environment that you are comfortable living in. It makes sense that you want room to grow and that you want to leave.

While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Some police can be more understanding about what is going on at your home. In our experience, police will oftentimes return the youth back to their guardian almost no matter what. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

If you want to talk more about what is going on and what your options might be, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

I am 17 and 5 months, i live with my parents in California but they are mentally hurting me. And i have talked to them if i can live with my boyfriend because im not happy living with them because i feel controlled to make them happy all the time whether i like it or not. I have told them constantly that im not happy with the way they treat me and i explained to them why before and havent changed. At this point i dont think they will ever change. I have ran away twice before two years back, If i move out will i get my boyfriend or me in trouble with the police? I have applied to jobs to earn my own money to take care of myself. I dont even have privacy in my own room.

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

If you have any other questions or want to talk about anything else, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

I turn 18 on the first of June. Can I move out/ “run away” 2 months before I turn 18... I live in Sacramento California?

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. We are not legal experts by any means, but we can speak generally on some of your questions. If you leave home WITHOUT permission from your mom then she can report you as a runaway. This is not illegal but it is a status offense. This means that if your mom knows where you are staying she can have you returned home by the police. However, if your mom gives you permission to leave then you would not be considered a runaway. As long as you are living somewhere safe with your mom's knowledge and consent, there would not be any police intervention. Once you reach the age of majority (18 in most states) you will be considered a legal adult. At this point you have the legal freedom to choose where you live and you do not need your mom's permission.

We hope this information was helpful. We are here 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible, so do not hesitate to reach out again.

You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

We wish you the best,
NRS

Moving out when 17

I currently live with my grandmother due to the situation at my moms house. I'm 18 in September, I have a job, and a place willing to take me in. My mom gives consent for me to move into this place, a family friends, and my grandma has no legal guardianship over me. Am I allowed to leave?

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway.
The idea you had about a notarized letter sounds pretty good but you’ll probably need to at least have one of your parent’s to sign it stating you have permission to live independently.
Another option and maybe not the favorite is to wait until your 18th birthday.

For more specifics on the law, contacting the local non-emergency police or legal aid numbers may better at answering legal questions.

If you would like to more about your situation, please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org (Live chat).

Take care,
NRS

Planning to move out at age 17
Hi, I live in LA and I'm wanting to ask if I can legally move out being 3 months away from turning 18. I am a high school graduate and I am currently applying for jobs. And I also about to go to college in a few weeks too. My mom is on board with me moving out. But my dad hasn't. Are there consequences? I am willing to be independent no matter what I need to do. I be willing to take full responsibilities. Do I need to go to a notary and make a letter and present it to the judge? In if I get emancipated am I allowed to make my own decisions? Before and after. My parents disagree of me that I can't be independent and I need their help. But I feel that I can make it work on my own.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

(You can pass this information along to your friend, and she can always reach out to us directly.)

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS