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Moving out at 17 in California

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic Moving out at 17 in California

    Moving out at 17 in California

    I am 17 years old and will be 18 in 6 months. I live in California. I have the financial means to support myself. I was planning on renting a room (obviously in a safe environment). I will graduate from high school in 3 months. I work 30 hours/week. My question is if my parents were to file a runaway report and the police found me, what are the consequences even if I can prove I am self-sufficient?

  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds really hard to live in a home with constant psychological and physical abuse. Your brother’s previous actions were not acceptable nor are your brother’s and mom’s current actions. No one deserves to be treated like that.

    You mentioned that you currently have a CPS report open – it’s good to see that some action is being taken by others to ensure your safety. It might be a good idea to contact your caseworker about the most recent abuses/show them the damage that your brother caused. If you have any marks or bruises (or pictures of past ones) those would also be good to show your caseworker. If you’re not sure who is working on your CPS case you can always contact your local CPS office – you can find out their contact information by going to http://www.cdss.ca.gov/Reporting/Rep...rt-Child-Abuse

    You mentioned that your brother had sexually abused you when you were younger – no one should have to go through that. It must be really aggravating that the investigation into that behavior didn’t provide any results. If you’d like, you can reach out to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) at 800-656-4673 for additional support.

    It’s great to hear that you have support from your church community. It might be beneficial to talk to your church leaders about what’s going on to see if they have any resources that could be of service to you. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I am currently 16 turning 17 in 4 months and My living situation is less than Ideal. I am living with my mother and brother in California and my brother sexually abused me as a kid. They investigated but didn't do anything. He continues to physically and verbally hurt me and recently my mother also verbally assaults me and threatens me with a cable and other objects. Recently I hid from my brother in my bathroom and he broke down the door I have proof of the damage he did to the door and my mom refuses to say it was him. We are being investigated by CPS and my mom has threatened me many times saying that if I say anything It will end really badly for me. I'm terrified of being in my "home" and everytime I go somewhere to try to destress or something they cause problems. I've found help within my church but my mom hates the church. She forbids me from going. And always tries to get the church into trouble. Is there anyway for me to get out of this situation? She always says she wishes I didnt live with her but never signs the forms neccesary for me to move out, Please Help. Sincerely, a girl who's done with everything.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, it seems like you reached out over chat or phone to talk about what was going on. We hope that we were able to provide you with some assistance and we wish you the best of luck going forward. If you would like to talk further about your situation or any other questions/concerns you may have, please don’t hesitate to contact us again on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 17 in foster care and i cant stand being there and I talked to these people and they said i can live with them so can i just leave??? I am in foster care and i turn 18 in December?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    We are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. While we aren’t legal experts, contacting us is a good first step in figuring out your options.

    In your message you asked if it would be considered running away if your daughter were to live with you. The answer to that can depend on whether or not the other parent has full custody of your daughter. If that is the case, that can mean that technically the other parent is responsible for her and may be able to file a runaway report. While running away isn’t illegal, it is considered a status offense until the youth is of the age of adulthood. While your daughter might just be returned, the other parent may be able to press charges against you for “harboring a runaway.” The law may be different if there is partial custody, however. If the other parent were to give a form of parental permission, that may be a way around runaway reporting.

    Another option beside parental consent is to contact the non-emergency number for the police’s station nearest to your daughter’s current house to ask if they would take a runaway report. Sometimes the police will not take a runaway report for someone who is close to being 18. You can ask anonymously if they would take a report and pursue a “harboring a runaway” charge for a parent. Based on their answer, you can decide on the course of action that best works for you.

    While we are here to help, we are also here to listen. If you or your daughter wanted to talk about the options we mentioned above, please feel free to call our hotline (1-800-786-2929). We are available 24/7 and are confidential!

    Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I have a situation in which my daughter (who lives with her other parent out of state) is wanting to move in with me. The other parent is not allowing it what so ever but my daughter will be 18 in 2019. My question is since she is going to live with another parent would that be considered a runaway if anything was ever reported to the authorities to get her to go back?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Living with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive dad sounds beyond difficult - no one deserves to be harmed via any kind of abuse or by living in the type of environment you describe.

    It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway. In some states, 17 is considered a grey area and police may or may not take the runaway report. If the runaway report is filed, and you are stopped by or found by the police, you would be returned home (or told to go home). Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Best, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 and going to be 18 in two months. Want to leave for a much needed break from my house. Just wanted to know if my parents could do anything considering I’m so close to being 18. I’ve talked to my mom about leaving but she’s told me she’d report me as missing. I have a place to go but was wondering what my parents could even do to force me back in their home? To give a quick explanation why I want a break is because my father is an alcoholic and can be emotionally abusive.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: I will be 18 in 4 months

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We appreciate you taking the time to tell us about what’s going on.
    So it sounds like you are going to be 18 in four months but the relationship condition at home with your mom has you thinking about leaving sooner.
    Tough spot. One thing to consider is what your dad might have to say about you moving out sooner and what if any consequences you might face by doing so.
    You are right with thinking it through. Weighing the options is a good idea.
    We want you to know that we are here as support. Here to listen and here to help.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Moving out at 17

    I will be 18 in 4 months and I want to move out from mom. She has physical custody of me and I want to live with my dad. I have shaky relationship with her and I'm not doing so well in school. What do I do? Im miserable!
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 11-30-2018, 03:00 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to run away. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi. Im asking this question for a friend. He just moved to California and his nothing has become emotionally and mentally abusive and they dint have food at the house. He is 16 will be 17 in a couple months.. If he ran and lived with his auntand his mother called the cops and claimed him as a run away what would happen?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    It sounds like you’re doing a great job working and planning for your independence. It’s also great that you decided to reach out to us for more information to help you make a more informed choice about what to do next. We’re not legal experts, but generally, while it’s not illegal to run away, a parent can file a runaway report for a minor with the police. In most, but not all states, this applies to anyone under 18. Depending on the state you’re in, this means that if the police come in contact with you or locate you, they will return you home if you’re considered a minor.
    If you’d like to talk more about your options, please give us a call 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or send us a chat. We’re confidential and anonymous and would look forward to hearing from you.
    Wishing you the best of luck.
    -National Runaway Safeline
    1-800-RUNAWAY

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 17 years old and I’m 3 months away from turning 18, I’ve been looking forward into moving out for some time. I have the financial means to support myself. I have a job and I work 45 hours every 2 weeks and I’ve already started making plans on how much I’d be spending on a one bedroom, and so far I have enough for myself...my question is... is it true that my mom can send the police after me ?

    Leave a comment:

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