Moving out at 17 in California

[Guest]

im 17 and i was wondering if my dad hits me and i move out will i be taken back if they file me as a run away?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. You’re always able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options as far as transferring custody. We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move away from your family. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your dad can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first. If you need somewhere to stay, we can also look for runaway shelters in your area as well.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

So i am 17 years old turning 18 in 6 months. Ive been dealing with my parents being on me for the longest and im tired of it and my older brother is letting me stay at his house. i have a job and will be finishing highschool. Is it possible to move out without my parents permission?

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress at home. It is ok to feel frustrated and want to leave, but there could be consequences.

We aren't legal experts, but generally if you leave without your parents' permission, they would have the right to file a run away report since you are still a minor. But since you are so close to turning 18 the police may not even take the report. The best way to know would be to contact your local police department's non-emergency line. They would be able to answer the question of whether they would take a report for someone so close to turning 18.

Thank you again for reaching out and feel free to do so again at any time. We are available 24/7 at 1800RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

Okay so Im 17 I'll be 18 in 6 months. I live with my grandmother but she is not my legal guardian. My legal guardian lives in Oklahoma. Am I able to move out without being considered a runaway?

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS we know it can difficult to seek out help and try to find options before making any kind of decision. Our hope is to help in any capacity we can to help you solve the situation you find yourself in.
So from hearing your story, since you are 17 you are still considered a minor and technically your guardian can file you in a runaway report. If the police were to find you they would take you back home to them. However because you are 17 and are only 6 months away from being 18 some police might not file a report since you are so close to age of majority. Again we are not legal experts so we can only share what we know. To conclude the probability of you being in any type of big trouble is minimal.
Again we know that it took bravery to reach out and seek help. Know that we are here 24/7 and we are confidential so if you have any more questions or concerns you want to run by us feel free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) using our chat option.

[Guest]

I’m 17 and my parents want to move far from my girlfriend we been together for a long time and she struggles with anxiety and I have a job and a car and I have a bunch or
f money saved up my parents won’t let me move out they say my little siblings will miss me or that I won’t succeed I’m in high school and my girlfriend said I can move in but idk what to do my parents won’t let me go

[ccsmod6]

Hello –

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes great courage to reach out. I’m sorry to hear that your parents are putting you in a position to choose between your family and your girlfriend, that sounds like a very difficult situation to be in.

We are non-directive and will never tell you what to do but there are a couple bits of information to help inform you. Running away is not illegal but since you are a minor, your guardians have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home unless you express to them that you live in an unsafe environment. If you left home and decided to stay with your girlfriend, her family could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. However, due to the McKinney Vento Act you also have the right to go to school regardless of your living situation.

To learn more about the process of running away or if you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached at the number listed above. We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct.

Best Wishes
~NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 17 years old and I’m 3 months away from turning 18, I’ve been looking forward into moving out for some time. I have the financial means to support myself. I have a job and I work 45 hours every 2 weeks and I’ve already started making plans on how much I’d be spending on a one bedroom, and so far I have enough for myself...my question is... is it true that my mom can send the police after me ?

[ccsmod5]

Hello,
It sounds like you’re doing a great job working and planning for your independence. It’s also great that you decided to reach out to us for more information to help you make a more informed choice about what to do next. We’re not legal experts, but generally, while it’s not illegal to run away, a parent can file a runaway report for a minor with the police. In most, but not all states, this applies to anyone under 18. Depending on the state you’re in, this means that if the police come in contact with you or locate you, they will return you home if you’re considered a minor.
If you’d like to talk more about your options, please give us a call 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or send us a chat. We’re confidential and anonymous and would look forward to hearing from you.
Wishing you the best of luck.
-National Runaway Safeline
1-800-RUNAWAY

[Guest]

Hi. Im asking this question for a friend. He just moved to California and his nothing has become emotionally and mentally abusive and they dint have food at the house. He is 16 will be 17 in a couple months.. If he ran and lived with his auntand his mother called the cops and claimed him as a run away what would happen?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to run away. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Moving out at 17

I will be 18 in 4 months and I want to move out from mom. She has physical custody of me and I want to live with my dad. I have shaky relationship with her and I'm not doing so well in school. What do I do? Im miserable!

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I will be 18 in 4 months

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you taking the time to tell us about what’s going on.
So it sounds like you are going to be 18 in four months but the relationship condition at home with your mom has you thinking about leaving sooner.
Tough spot. One thing to consider is what your dad might have to say about you moving out sooner and what if any consequences you might face by doing so.
You are right with thinking it through. Weighing the options is a good idea.
We want you to know that we are here as support. Here to listen and here to help.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I’m 17 and going to be 18 in two months. Want to leave for a much needed break from my house. Just wanted to know if my parents could do anything considering I’m so close to being 18. I’ve talked to my mom about leaving but she’s told me she’d report me as missing. I have a place to go but was wondering what my parents could even do to force me back in their home? To give a quick explanation why I want a break is because my father is an alcoholic and can be emotionally abusive.

[ccsmod11]

Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Living with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive dad sounds beyond difficult - no one deserves to be harmed via any kind of abuse or by living in the type of environment you describe.

It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway. In some states, 17 is considered a grey area and police may or may not take the runaway report. If the runaway report is filed, and you are stopped by or found by the police, you would be returned home (or told to go home). Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I have a situation in which my daughter (who lives with her other parent out of state) is wanting to move in with me. The other parent is not allowing it what so ever but my daughter will be 18 in 2019. My question is since she is going to live with another parent would that be considered a runaway if anything was ever reported to the authorities to get her to go back?

[ccsmod3]

We are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. While we aren’t legal experts, contacting us is a good first step in figuring out your options.

In your message you asked if it would be considered running away if your daughter were to live with you. The answer to that can depend on whether or not the other parent has full custody of your daughter. If that is the case, that can mean that technically the other parent is responsible for her and may be able to file a runaway report. While running away isn’t illegal, it is considered a status offense until the youth is of the age of adulthood. While your daughter might just be returned, the other parent may be able to press charges against you for “harboring a runaway.” The law may be different if there is partial custody, however. If the other parent were to give a form of parental permission, that may be a way around runaway reporting.

Another option beside parental consent is to contact the non-emergency number for the police’s station nearest to your daughter’s current house to ask if they would take a runaway report. Sometimes the police will not take a runaway report for someone who is close to being 18. You can ask anonymously if they would take a report and pursue a “harboring a runaway” charge for a parent. Based on their answer, you can decide on the course of action that best works for you.

While we are here to help, we are also here to listen. If you or your daughter wanted to talk about the options we mentioned above, please feel free to call our hotline (1-800-786-2929). We are available 24/7 and are confidential!

Best of luck!

[Guest]

Im 17 in foster care and i cant stand being there and I talked to these people and they said i can live with them so can i just leave??? I am in foster care and i turn 18 in December?

[ccsmod6]

Hi, it seems like you reached out over chat or phone to talk about what was going on. We hope that we were able to provide you with some assistance and we wish you the best of luck going forward. If you would like to talk further about your situation or any other questions/concerns you may have, please don’t hesitate to contact us again on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I am currently 16 turning 17 in 4 months and My living situation is less than Ideal. I am living with my mother and brother in California and my brother sexually abused me as a kid. They investigated but didn't do anything. He continues to physically and verbally hurt me and recently my mother also verbally assaults me and threatens me with a cable and other objects. Recently I hid from my brother in my bathroom and he broke down the door I have proof of the damage he did to the door and my mom refuses to say it was him. We are being investigated by CPS and my mom has threatened me many times saying that if I say anything It will end really badly for me. I'm terrified of being in my "home" and everytime I go somewhere to try to destress or something they cause problems. I've found help within my church but my mom hates the church. She forbids me from going. And always tries to get the church into trouble. Is there anyway for me to get out of this situation? She always says she wishes I didnt live with her but never signs the forms neccesary for me to move out, Please Help. Sincerely, a girl who's done with everything.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds really hard to live in a home with constant psychological and physical abuse. Your brother’s previous actions were not acceptable nor are your brother’s and mom’s current actions. No one deserves to be treated like that.

You mentioned that you currently have a CPS report open – it’s good to see that some action is being taken by others to ensure your safety. It might be a good idea to contact your caseworker about the most recent abuses/show them the damage that your brother caused. If you have any marks or bruises (or pictures of past ones) those would also be good to show your caseworker. If you’re not sure who is working on your CPS case you can always contact your local CPS office – you can find out their contact information by going to https://www.cdss.ca.gov/Reporting/Re...rt-Child-Abuse

You mentioned that your brother had sexually abused you when you were younger – no one should have to go through that. It must be really aggravating that the investigation into that behavior didn’t provide any results. If you’d like, you can reach out to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) at 800-656-4673 for additional support.

It’s great to hear that you have support from your church community. It might be beneficial to talk to your church leaders about what’s going on to see if they have any resources that could be of service to you. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi i am 17 will be 18 in 5 months i graduated highschool a year and half early and the date of that was a week before my birthday if i want to move out of state by myself can i or would i be considered a runaway??

[ccsmod11]

Hello!

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but according to what we know, you must be 18 in most states to be considered a legal adult. This means that your parents are responsible for you and your whereabouts until then. You would need their permission to move out. If they do not give you permission and they file a police report after you leave, you would then be considered a runaway. If you have any other questions or would like to talk about the situation further you can call us at 1800-786-2929 or message us via our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7 and are confidential.

Stay safe!
National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

i love a guy so much but my parents doesn't want me to be together with him but i love him so much like i cant live without him and he is 19 i am turning 17 if i go to his house and live with him and if my parents ca;ll the police and tell them that i runway what the police gonna do with me is they gonna return me back or let me to stay with the guy i love

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your parents are not accepting of your boyfriend whom you clearly feel very strongly about. That must be very frustrating and we hear you and are here for you. Because you are a minor, if you ran away your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This would NOT mean that you would get arrested or go to jail as running away is not illegal. It would simply mean that if the police found you, they would notify your guardian and return you home. Additionally, if you were staying with someone, your parents might have the option to press charges against that person for harboring a runaway depending on what state you are in. While we are not legal experts, this is typically considered a misdemeanor offense. If you have any other questions or anything else you would like to talk about, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

hi ... im 17 and my birthday is september 18 next year 2020 and and ill be 18 .... my birth mother has always been on n off drugs well the last time she was on it was when u was 14 and on my 15 she told me i can go have fun and go out n dont worry about coming home on my birthday so i said okay and did what she said but unfortanlaty later at night she came to my bf house n drappged me out by my hair then took me too my aunts house and smashed my head against a brick wall and i reported it cause it was bad ... she just keep gettibg worse and i kept tryibg to help but she wouldn't let me help and then she started to keep me from school ... so then I ran away and started to go to school on my own and then she called the cops n said i was a runaway and this n that but they have my side of my story ... and they have witness and this has been going on my entire childhood ... so I'm about to be 18 soon and wants to know if i can do anything about it causr she eventually got so bad that she gave the rest of her children my siblings to cps and she's living on the streets and it has been 3 years and she does not want to give me any of my papers ( birthcirtificate ... etc..)

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with something very difficult at home with your mother for some time. You have also tried to help your mother after she has hurt you in the past. We also are impressed you started to go to school on your own. It sounds like you have been able to explain your situation to the police to protect yourself. You are strong and have done a lot of growing up in your 17 years!

It sounds like your main question is about getting your legal documents -- such as your birth certificate -- from your mother. The good news: you can request your own copies with your mother’s help.

To request a copy of a birth certificate in California: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/w2w/california.htm

For info on how to do this for other states: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/w2w/index.htm

You are in a tough situation and have been going through a lot. You don’t deserve any of this.

Thank you again for reaching out to us, and we hope this information has been helpful.. If you’d like to discuss this anymore, please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.