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Moving out at 17 in California

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  • #76

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are at a crossroads with your mom concerning where you will stay. We understand if you are feeling a little confused right now by your mother’s actions.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more about your situation and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #77
      I really want to move out because of my mom but, I am 13

      Comment


      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there -

        Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well. Hopefully we can help you out during this very stressful time at home.

        We do get a large number of emails, we do have to limit email replies to three individual responses to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in. We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. Only you know when it might be time to leave home and no one can make that choice for you. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

        Hope to hear from you soon!

    • #78
      I’m 17 years old. I will be turning 18 in 5 months. I have a good job that’s pays me 11.50 a hour. I work 36 hours a week, graduate high school in about a month or so, and I can easily rent a house for $200 a month. But my grandparents and mom won’t let me move out. If i where to just leave can they do anything about it? I don’t want to deal with the consequences they will give me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for contacting NRS and sharing your story – it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind, especially while working 36 hours a week and going to school. Although you are almost 18, you are technically not yet considered an adult, making leaving home on your own a little more complicated. Running away from home is not against the law, but your parents could file a runaway report if they decided to. If this were to happen, if you had any interaction with police, you could expect to simply be brought home. While you think about running away, it could be worthwhile considering your grandparents and mom’s reaction- might they file a runaway report? Would you want to keep in touch with them? Also, having a Plan B in mind can be really helpful if you decide to leave and things don’t go as you expect. As you consider these things, always remember we can help too. We are here to support you and can help you sort through your options and develop your plans. We’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Call anytime. We wish you only the best.
        NRS

    • #79
      If I am being severely emotionally abused by my mom and I turn 18 in two months, can I move in with another adult until then?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are being emotionally abused my your mom. Abuse is never okay and you don't deserve to be treated that way. In most states, a person can't leave home without their parent's permission until they are 18. You could try asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. If you decide to leave home, your mom has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. If you decide to stay with someone else, they could get charged with harboring a runaway. However, since you are so close to turning 18 the police may not accept a runaway report on you. You could try contacting your local police through their non emergency phone number to ask about their runaway policy. If you don't feel comfortable contacting the police, we could reach out to them for you. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any other questions or just want to talk.

    • #80
      I am 17 years old will be 18 in December living in California. right now I don’t have much connection with my family and it’s to dramatic living with them, right now I am living with my mom and my step dad for about 3 months now and my mom and I have not been getting along, she insulted me and doesn’t give me any freedom she told me to move out of the house many times. I can’t go back and live with my blood dad because I also don’t have good connection with any of them and they just love bringing problems to me so I just really want to leave and go on my own. Since my mom has told me to leave the house/kick me out, wouldn’t that consider as she gave me permission to leave and go on my own? I have friends that are willing to support me and pull me in to jobs so it’ll be easier for me. My question is that can I move out?

      Comment


      • #81
        Reply: I am 17 years old will be 18 in December

        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like your mother have not been getting along and she has told you to leave the home. Because of this you would like to know what might happen if you actually left.

        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        Should you decide to take her up on her request then you might consider getting it in writing and having it notarized. This would make it a legal document containing her written and signed consent. We hope that makes sense.

        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        Be safe,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #82
          Hi, I live in San Diego, California. I'll be turning 17 really soon and have been thinking about running away a few times. I do all the work in the house as my mother sits there doing nothing. I clean the house and take care of my other three siblings. I walk to the store by myself and live in a pretty bad neighboorhood. I ask to get a job all the time and they just scream at me when I do. They mentally abuse me on a daily basis saying horrible things to me one day I'm worried it will become physical. They only treat me like this none of my other siblings, and I am homeschooled only getting to do my homework from 10 pm till morning and then repeating the cycle. I have a really good friend in Texas (Lives with her mother) who said they would take me in and help me with schooling and could get me a good job the moment I move there making 700 a paycheck. That is enough to support myself, do you think I would have a chance?

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, there!

            Congrats on your upcoming birthday! Sounds like things are frustrating at home due to your extra responsibilities at home such as cleaning and taking care of your siblings, as well as verbal abuse from your parents. If you are ever worried it will become physical, please don’t hesitate to call 911 or the National Child Abuse Hotline to file a report. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. You deserve to feel safe and protected. Despite your struggles, it also sounds like you have a strong support system and you are very independent.

            One of the best ways to see if you are able to leave home in your state would be to contact your local police. They can let you know their policies and how they handle 17 year olds who leave. As you may know, if you just ran away from home, you would be committing a status offense. Your parents would have a right to file a runaway report…alerting police nationwide that you are on the run. Consequences vary for running—sometimes, you get returned back home, etc. Have you considered asking your parents’ permission to leave home and stay with the family friend?

            If you were to run away, know that having a well thought out plan is important. This includes thinking about your safety and worst case scenarios such as how would you handle it if you and your friend’s relationship goes sour? If you give us a call or come online and chat with us, we can role play and talk about your different options and anything else about your current plan. You know your situation best. It is great to make an informed decision, just as you are doing.

            We wish you the best and invite you to call or chat.

            Best,

            NRS

        • #83
          I am 17 in California and I need to leave. My friend and her family invited me to live with them in Washington state where I can finish high and get another job. They will not charge me anything though I am still planning on getting a job. Can I legally move out without my family retrieving me after a runaway report?
          Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-18-2018, 05:52 AM.

          Comment


          • #84
            Reply:I am 17 in California

            Hello,
            Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
            Just so that you know we are not legal experts and only can provide some general legal information when it comes to someone running away or someone assisting/aiding a person running away.

            Someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.

            If you would like to talk more in detail we are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you.

            If your friend should ever be at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage them to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


            Take care,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #85
              so im not really sure if people reply to this kind of thing ?? but i am a 16 year old female and i want to move out from my mothers house i have a safe place to reside but she will not let me ,,, i have plenty of reasons as to why i want to , shes told me she will beat my ******* , shes on drugs , and shes not a fit parent...
              Last edited by ccsmod2; 07-14-2018, 02:02 AM.

              Comment


              • ccsmod2
                ccsmod2 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear about your issues at home. You don't deserve to be treated that way. If you don't feel safe at home, you have the right to contact CPS and report how your mom treats you. They would conduct an interview and if they determine that your mom is an unfit parent, they would remove you from your home. You could contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453) to explore your options and get information on how to transfer custody. Another option that you have is looking into emancipation laws for your state. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

            • #86
              Im 17 Years old I live in Orange County California the legal age to move out is 18 but I want to live in with my BF and his family they already said it’s okay if I move in and my BF is getting a job and so am I , I don’t have to pay rent . The only problem is that my parents aren’t letting me move out I turn 18 in January I’m already 17 1/2 ... can I still move out??

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are here to listen and will help with your situation in any way we can.
                It seems like your concern is being able to go live with your “BF”. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. If leaving with your “BF” is not an option you can call into our hotline to look for resources for shelter.
                Again, thank you for reaching out to us. For further assistance or resources please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.
                -NRS

            • #87
              Hi, I'm 17 1/2 and I want to move and live with a friend.

              I want to leave my home, I just don't want to be here anymore. I have felt like this for a long time. I have somewhere safe to be and stay but I am more than certain that my parents will never allow it. I cannot talk to my parents about this they won't listen. I would like to leave my home but they would never let me. If I runaway to my friends house, could my parents call the cops and force them to take me back home even if I leave a note that I have ran away and say in the note that I am safe. Can the police force me to come back home? Will my friend be in any trouble for giving me a place to stay? What can I do if my parents won't live the house? I would like to leave my home without my parents making it a problem. What laws protect me and what laws conflict me? Please I want to leave as soon as possible.

              Comment


              • ccsmod5
                ccsmod5 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi,
                Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and feel that leaving home is your best option. In most states, you would have to be 18 to be considered a legal adult. If you leave without parental consent, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police decide to pursue it they will return you home. There is a possibility that any adult you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, but this is not something that we hear about often and so does not seem likely. Unfortunately it is completely up to the police whether or not to return you home. There is a possibility that the police would let you be if you are safe, but your parents do technically have the right to ask the police to pick you up until you are 18.
                NRS

            • #88
              I'm a 17 year old with a 2 month old baby and I want to move in with my boyfriend and his mom but my mom won't let me if I do leave and she makes a report will I be forced to go back home
              Call 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are thinking of running from home, if you have a friend who has runaway, or if you are a runaway ready to go home.

              Comment


              • #89
                Hi there,

                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts but generally speaking, if you leave while still 17, your mom could file a runaway report and you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your boyfriend or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor. One thing you can do is reach out to your local police to inquire how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need help finding this number or you want to walk through any other options you have, we can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

                Best,

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #90
                  i want moving out at 17. i’m seven months away from turning 18 , but i don’t want to wait that long. i am adopted so i’m afraid to do anything without getting my younger siblings n grandparents in trouble. i don’t want to live w my grandparents anymore , i’m not allowed to do anything nor go out . i feel so trapped here. i want to move in w a friend but i’m afraid of getting her family in trouble

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod10
                    ccsmod10 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your email to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life, especially at home, if you’re thinking about running away from your household, but don’t want to get into any trouble. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

                    Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. It can be a little tricky at the age of 17, but there are some cases in which a police officer won't take a runaway report for someone that is 17. Especially if there are a little closer to turning 18 years old, along with having already graduated high school. This is not the case all the time of course, but it is something that we have heard of happening before. But something to keep in mind is that though a police officer doesn't take a report it doesn't make it legal for you to leave home before you turn 18. Like stated above it might not be actively search for a 17 year old. Regarding your friend getting into trouble, there is a misdemeanor charge called “harboring a runaway”. It’s really not common and it costs money for parents to take those people to court. We rarely hear about people getting into trouble for letting a runaway stay with them. The only way to know for sure of that would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about running away.

                    We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

                    We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

                    Be safe, NRS
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