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  • Hello, I’m 17 years old. I just came out the closet to my mom. She wants me to tell my step dad, but I don’t want to. I don’t feel comfortable at home anymore and I want to give my mom some space. I live in Texas and I want to know if I can go live with my biological dads parents (my grandparents)? Does my parent have to choose if either I stay or could go?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-06-2018, 02:31 AM.

    Comment


    • Reply: Hello, I’m 17 years old.

      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

      We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable.
      You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service.
      The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 http://www.glbthotline.org/ is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer.

      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My boyfriend just turned 17 today and him and his mom don’t get along very well and his dad isn’t in his life. Can he legally move in with me at 17 without his parents consent in Texas ?

        Comment


        • Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because your boyfriend is a minor in the state of Texas, if he leaves and his parents file a runaway report, he could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for you or whomever he stays with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help him walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between him and his parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for him, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or encourage him to call our number.

          We're here 24/7 to support and help.

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • My parents literally have the habit of mistreating me and my family out of state know about it. Could I sleep at a friends house until further notices happens without getting in trouble? I'm 17 with a steady job.

            Comment


            • ccsmod5
              ccsmod5 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi,
              Thank you for reaching out. It’s not okay that your parents are mistreating you—no one deserves that, especially from the adults who are supposed to love and support you. We’re not legal experts, but can give general information. Technically, you are still considered a minor and your parents do have the right to file a runaway report if you decide to stay at your friend’s house. From there, your local police decide if they want to bring you home or not—in many situations, once you are 17 police don’t bother to make you return home if you are safe. In any case, you would usually not get “in trouble” legally.
              Thank you again for your message. If you have additional questions or resources, please feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929.
              Take care,
              NRS

          • Hello I’m 16 turning 17 in 3-4 weeks I’m currently having some problems with my mom. I really want to move out and go live with my boyfriend and his family. Will he and his family get in trouble for accepting me. Even if my mom does what she has to do to get me back home will I get in trouble for leaving and no longer speaking to my family, please I need answers ASAP...

            Comment


            • ccsmod10
              ccsmod10 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hey there,

              Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your email to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. Now we aren’t legal experts by any means so we can only give you a general idea of what might happen if you left home without permission.

              It can be a little tricky at the age of 17, but there are some cases in which a police officer won't take a runaway report for someone that is 17. Especially if there are a little closer to turning 18 years old. This is not the case all the time of course, but it is something that we have heard of happening before. But something to keep in mind is that though a police officer doesn't take a report it doesn't make it legal for minors to leave home before turning 18; which is the legal age of majority in most states. Like stated above it might not be actively search for a 17 year old. The only way to know for sure of that would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about leaving home or the state as a 17 year old and what would could happen at that point.

              Now if your mom did file a runaway report, she can choose to press charges on your boyfriend’s parents for harboring a runaway. Harboring a runaway is when that party are not giving accurate information on a runaway’s whereabouts. That could lead to a number of different legal issues such as misdemeanor charges (fines or jail charges). From what we know it isn’t something that typically happens, but it is in place to detour individuals from helping runaway minors from not returning home or lying on a runaway’s behalf.

              We hope this response was helpful! We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

              Best, NRS

          • i am 17 years old. i will turn 18 in 6 months. for the past 7months i have been dating a guy who is 22. my parents have no idea. i started dating him back in february but i found the courage to tell them and they made me break up with him. they threatened to take away my vehicle which i use to get to work and school and my cell phone which i use to stay in contact with work and family. around march i got back together with him but kept it a secret. i would lie to them about where i was at and what i was doing. i know that’s wrong. i work 5 days a week and go to school. i pay my insurance for my car. his family knows of me. they support him and i. have told me i could stay with them. have showed me so much love. when my parents found out about him they wanted to go beat him up. they wanted to call the police and send him to jail. now it’s october and i feel like they found out. if they did, they would take all of my stuff away from me. i need to be able to go to work. they will make me leave him and that’s the last thing i want to do. him and his family have been my rock for months and months. if they find out i want to leave. i want to live with him and his family. people who actually support me and love me. she has already told me i’m not allowed to see my own grandma. she can’t control who i see. it’s not fair. what can i do? what rights do i have?

            Comment


            • ccsmod16
              ccsmod16 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks for reaching out to us. This is a tough situation that they've put you in. But it's great that you are taking steps to figure out what your options are and what's best for you.

              They are putting these limits on you, and you're understandably worried about how it will affect all the things that give you your independence.

              Because you're under 18, if you went to live with your boyfriend, that might be running away. We're not legal experts. Our understanding is that it's never illegal to run away. It's a status offense. What can happen is that your guardians file a runaway report, and then the police's job is to return you to your guardians. There are a couple of things to consider about this, though:

              Different police departments handle different cases differently. When youth are close to the age of 18 they sometimes don't pursue the search very aggressively. You or a friend could call the police non-emergency line anonymously and ask them how they might pursue a case similar to yours.

              The only crime associated with running away is called harboring a runaway. It's situations where the youth is being hidden, and the people they are staying with are not cooperating with police, so there are safety concerns.

              If you had concerns about statutory rape charges being filed, again we are not legal experts, but 17 is the age of consent in Texas. So if you are over 17, you can be in an adult relationship.

              Also, bear in mind that if your family is threatening violence, that may itself be a crime, and were they to take actions like that, it certainly would be.

              Not all guardians file a runaway report in these situations. So some youth wind up living in another home with no runaway report filed. Also, if your guardians approve, you can live with another family.

              It does sound like you tried to open up to your parents, and that they just shut you down. But sometimes those specifics can shift, like if you leave, and they see how serious you are, that might prompt a change. Or it might be a matter of leaving, but having a way to keep the lines of communication open with them, to be able to tell them how their actions affected you, and how important this is to you. Ultimately, you know your family best, and can judge this best.

              Also, your safety is most important. It sounds like you built a lot of trust with your boyfriend's family. But if you do go, it's worthwhile to make sure you have other friends or family who you trust who could reach out to, or who could come get you, if the situation at your boyfriend's house changes in a way that makes you uncomfortable.

              We hope these ideas are a help to you.

          • I turn 18 in 7 months and I live with my boyfriend that’s going to be 18 in November I don’t want to go back with my parents but the only person that’s not liking me staying at the apartment is my dad

            Comment


            • ccsmod5
              ccsmod5 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi,
              Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like your father is having a difficult time accepting that you live with your boyfriend. It could be helpful to have a conversation with your dad about his concerns and what you need in the situation. You might consider asking another adult to be there so that the conversation stays calm, fair, and productive. That could be a therapist, teacher, guidance counselor, or any other adult. Here at NRS, we do offer conflict mediation conference calls.

              Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open if you'd like to speak more specifically about what's going on. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
              Stay safe!

          • I'm 17 and live in the state of Texas. My parents have always been less than stellar or understanding of me, constantly blaming me for various situations. I have tried discussing my feelings with them countless times but have never been able to see a noticeable breakthrough in their personalities or treatment of me. There is has never been any physical abuse but I would say there is a fair amount of mental abuse in my household. CPS has been called multiple times but without a proper way to accurately measure mental abuse in a household there is very little they can do. So now I am ready to take matters into my own hands. I would like to move out and live with my grandmother, who has already said she would be more than happy to help care for me. I was wondering if the authorities were called if the police had the ability to forcefully bring me back to my parent's house and if there was any legal action that might be pressed against me that might result in me being placed in an institution or community service of some sorts. Also, I was wondering if my parents would be able to press charges against my grandmother if this happens claiming she was, "harboring a runaway." I have been dwelling on this idea for about 3 years now so I have thought this through many times on whether this was the best option for me or not and I believe it is as do many people I have spoken with. Please reply fast as I would like to move out as soon as possible. Thank you for any feedback I receive.

            Comment


            • Hi there,

              Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry about all that has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts but generally speaking, if you leave while still 17, your parents could file a runaway report and you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your grandmother or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor. One thing you can do is reach out to your local police to inquire how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need help finding this number or you want to walk through any other options with a liner, we can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

              Best,

              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • hi I am 16 me and my mom get into serious verbal fights and sometimes she gets physical I live in Texas and I have heard I am aloud to run away at 17 is this true I have several places I can go

                Comment


                • ccsmod10
                  ccsmod10 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hi there,
                  Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

                  You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. You’re always able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options as far as transferring custody. We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move away from your mom. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

                  If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your dad can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first.

                  We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. However, the chatting service is not open 24/7. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

                  Be safe, NRS

              • I am 17 years old. Living in Texas. I have already left home because of physical and mental abuse. I have been abused for more than 8 years now. My parents do not want to support me or take care of me at home or anywhere else. They even cleaned our my checking account. I am looking for a job and am currently living in a safe home with permission of my friends parents. How can I keep from being forced back into my parents custody? I recently tried to go back home only the abuse was even worse. I am wanting to home school so I can graduate, My parents will not sign me out of public school. Can I do it myself?

                Comment


                • ccsmod5
                  ccsmod5 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello, thank you for reaching out during this difficult time. It sounds like you have taken great steps to remove yourself from a dangerous and abusive situation. We are glad that your friends are able to take you in and help you get back on your feet. You do have the right to go to school regardless of your living situation under the McKinny-Vento Act. You can visit https://nche.ed.gov/ to learn more about your rights and talk to your current school about what your options are. If you want to report the abuse Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 can help you make the report. We wish you the best of luck and please stay safe.

              • Hi I am 13 and I want to runaway.my dad doesn’t understand that I don’t want to be treated like one of his friends and be mentally abused my him,he likes to yell at me and I can’t take it no more I feel it’s best if I run away.

                Comment


                • ccsmod10
                  ccsmod10 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hey there,

                  Hi there,

                  Thanks for reaching out to NRS through our online forum. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation at home with your dad. You deserve to feel loved and appreciated. No one should have to go through feeling mentally abused.

                  You mentioned that you feel like it is best if you run away. If you do decide to run away, it’s important to have a plan for your safety and ensure that all of your needs will be met. You can reach out to us at any time at 1 (800) RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we would be happy to help talk through this plan with you. Also, it is important to know that since you are 13 and not yet legally considered an adult, if you do run away and your dad files a runaway report with the police they will be obligated to return you home if they do locate you. Additionally, if run away and stay with a friend or family member, it is possible that they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

                  You also mentioned that you feel like your dad mentally abuses you. The National Child Abuse Hotline is a great resource to reach out to and share these feelings with. They can be reached at 1 (800) 422-4453 or childhelp.org. It can also be helpful to talk to a trusted adult about this. You deserve to feel supported. You are not alone.

                  We hope this information has been helpful. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us to talk through what you are going through. We are available 24/7 and are completely confidential.

                  Best, NRS

              • i'm 17 and my mom had given me parental consent to move out. if she wanted me to come back home, can she legally take that consent away?

                Comment


                • ccsmod7
                  ccsmod7 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. We are not legal experts, but we can answer your question generally.

                  Unfortunately, yes, receiving permission from your mom initially does not nullify her parental rights, and she can still go back on her permission until you become a legal adult. It depends on your state laws and how local police would respond with whether or not they would return you home if she attempted to list you as a runaway with local police. If you call or chat us we can talk more about what that could look like for your state. You might also reach out to your local police's non-emergency number and ask hypothetical questions about how they would handle your situation.

                  It sounds hurtful for her to go back on her permission, if you ever need to talk to someone please do not hesitate to call or chat us. We really want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

                  Best,

                  NRS

              • I am turning 17 in 42 days I am currently in care and I was curious to know what would happen if I had run away from the system

                Comment


                • ccsmod16
                  ccsmod16 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello there,

                  First of all, thank you for reaching out and taking steps to learn about options for your life. It also might be helpful to look through the rest of this thread as we might have already answered this question from another youth.

                  We are not legal experts, but in the state of Texas you are considered an adult at the age of 18, so if you leave care your caretakers may report you as a runaway. Being a runaway is not a criminal offense, so you will not be charged or put into jail for simply running away. However, if you are picked up by the police, they will have to return you to your care situation.

                  If you choose to run away, it is important to consider how you can be safe and support yourself and the resources that are available to you. If you would like to call our 24/7 hotline number, we can help you find appropriate resources in your area and discuss other options.

                  Once again, thank you for reaching out and please do not hesitate to call our hotline number for further support. We are here to listen and are 100% confidential and toll free.

                  Please take care and we wish you the best of luck!
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