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Wanting to leave home at 18

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  • Wanting to leave home at 18

    Kicked Out Post: Too many things to know about me, Questions and Concerns
    I'm an 18 year old female living in New Jersey near Cherry Hill, who's currently in community college without a job, license and car. I do not own my own phone or laptop; if I plan to leave I'd have to leave this stuff here and go without anyway of contact to people who I can actually talk to. I have very little money and if my credit/debit card is taken away along with me running away from home, then my money on there will be useless as well.
    I have a few months of work experience as a retail worker, a cashier who worked in a mall.
    I speak fluent English, no other language.
    I'm a 2020 graduate from a trade highschool with maybe not straight A's but a decently good amount of grades, and I have 4 years of Information Technology experience from there as well.
    I do not get along with my father, I no longer speak to him, as he wants me out the house anyway.
    I usually do not get along with my mother, she may want to kick me out, I don't know but I don't want to get in a confrontation about it.
    I have a sister who is usually on my side, but she is at college.< She does not have her own things either; but she is most respected by my family members and they don't plan on doing anything with her, she's fine.
    I don't have any outside family that would take me in, or help me, as my father has done everything he could to damage my reputation with them; it's worked and I doubt they'd wanna see me.
    I do not have friends who would be able to take me in if I ran off, they're the same age range as me and still live with their parents, other friends that I have live in different states, and countries.
    I have a boyfriend who would have let me move in with him until I could get on my feet; however I don't want to have to rely on him, he too lives with his parents and I would only feel guilty living or even staying there without anyway to pay them back since I am jobless.
    I have a clean record; I've never been arrested, maybe questioned a few times but I have never dealt with drugs, alcohol, no criminal activity. I've never done anything to rim
    fight back or to argue with anyone, I'm too much of a wuss to do that.
    I've only been to a hospital for nearly 2 weeks after a suicide attempt back when I was around 15-16, I've fully recovered since then.
    I have some skill in mixed martial arts, I'm not professional but I felt I should just throw that in.
    I have a life on social media; I wouldn't consider what I have as business but I have people working with and for me, no pay, it's years old. < I'm not that alone

    Questions and Concerns:
    Would police have to get involved if I'm 18 and run away from home? I know if I were 17 or something police would report me missing and look for me and take me back home, but do rules still apply if I'm literally an adult, being 18?
    Do police need to know what I took from my home if I took anything? I wouldn't steal money from anyone, I'd only take any extra set of clothes, whatever I have on, and anything my boyfriend gave me (stuffed animal)
    Would I be forced to go back home if I'm found not at home? The point of me going away is to NOT come back home, I wouldn't want me doing all this come to a waste to just be forced back home to live with my parents who want to control me..
    Are my parents (more or less likely my mom) allowed to report me missing or something if I do run away? Same thing I said as above, I'm 18, she used to say I'm an adult and it's my decision if I want to f-up my life or make it right but I can't do it being there.
    Is it okay to plan things like this out before I even act upon them?
    Is it normal to feel anxious and nervous about this plan I'm making? If I do go with it, is it normal to feel the urge to immediately want to go back home?
    Do I have the right to run away with stuff my boyfriend has given me? (some items but not a whole car full worth) Technically my parents do not own them so...
    Do I have the right to run away with clothes I'm wearing that my mother has bought? (She says she can take away anything she's bought, but, I don't think I'd wanna run away nude.)
    Is anything in my room allowed to be destroyed, given away or sold after I run out if I can't take them? Like I have other items I wish to keep but if it really does lie on the whole "if your parents bought them for you it's still theirs" kinda thing then man I'm gonna miss my stuffed animals and games.
    Am I allowed to ask police if I can take things that were given to me but were bought by my parents? Same as above
    Can I even let the police know I'm doing this so I don't get reported? Like I know they'd be very concerned as if it were a kidnapping or something but I'm legit doing this on my own.
    What do I do about my phone number, if I get a new one and have things (accounts, emails and such) attached to what would be my old one? This is more of a useless question at the moment.
    Does anyone know anyone who's looking for (me would be a homeless) a roommate anywhere near Pennsauken, Cherry Hill, Merchantville? They are within my walking distance. It took me 6 hours to walk all the way to Mount Laurel.
    What do I do if my mother tries to fight or hit me? I don't like fighting back, I never have and wouldn't want to hurt anyone especially if I'm 18 and hitting back can get me arrested.
    If I do run away can I take any personal care items? Pads, deodorant, brushes, just to keep me decently clean if I'm out for more than a day and have nowhere to go still.

    I would like help from anyone, please, at this point I'm honestly desperate but not to the point I want a random 30 year old person to take me in and kill me at random-
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 02-24-2021, 09:52 PM.

  • #2

    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that the situation with your family has been so difficult. It sounds like you feel that living away from them would be the best option for you, but you have a lot of questions about whether this is possible, as well as what you might be able to take with you if you decided to go. We cannot tell you what to do, but we can share information that may help you figure out your next steps.

    We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, whether you can be reported as a runaway depends on what the legal age of adulthood is in your state. If your state considers you an adult at the age of 18, then local police would likely not take a report from your parent or legal guardian. Regarding what you can and cannot take, your best option is to reach out to local police at their non-emergency number to ask whether your parents can report you for taking some of the belongings you had while living with them. Deciding when to leave home is an important decision, and it sounds like you are trying to be as responsible as possible by planning out where you might be able to go, how much you can take with you, and how to do it so that you don't run into any trouble with your parents. In your message, you talk about having limited options on where to stay. Depending on where you live, you may have options like emergency shelter or transitional/independent living organizations. If you need to talk to someone about your options, feel free to give us a call.

    Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we can do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore your options for moving out of your family home. You can reach us 24/7 via phone by calling 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat by visiting us at and using our Chat feature. We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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