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I'm 16 and I'm unsure what to do.

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  • I'm 16 and I'm unsure what to do.

    Hello, I am 16 years old and last night, around 11 pm, my mother got angry with me because I ate the last of some canned food. I had asked her if she wanted the last few cans a month ago when it ran out. She said no. Anyway, I tried my best not to have any attitude with her. I was calm and collected and tried to understand where she was coming from. She accuses me of things I don't do basically every day of my life. I am not allowed out of the house, she has taken my phone (so I cant talk to my friends or my therapist about how I'm feeling or what I should do in my situation). I feel that I am very privileged to even have a phone and have access to my education, but, I need someone to help me get answers. My main reason for creating this post is because during our fight last night, my mother told me to get out of the house. Then she proceeded to tell me that I can do whatever I want in my own home and that I'm not allowed to touch anything of hers (which I don't do anyway) and that I must ask for permission to eat anything. This morning, I woke up before her and made myself some coffee and once she woke up she glared at me and has not spoken to me all day. I asked her if I could my myself breakfast and even asked if she wanted anything (as I always do) and she said no, and that I can drink some water. That's it. She is also very emotionally abusive. She harshly criticizes EVERYTHING I do and doesn't let me have a social life. It's hard enough as is to have the privilege to see my therapist. I work my butt off to make her happy and it creates even more mental and emotional damage when pushing myself that hard. Nothing is ever good enough. This has been going on for 10 years. I have reached out for help several times in the past. Even a family member contacted CPS when I was 8 years old because she left bruises all over my body after I lied to her about something. (which she lies to me all the time and that's probably where I get it from. I have gotten a lot better about it since 8th grade when I was actually able to understand the world and mature) I hate myself for everything I do. I cry myself to sleep so much that my eyes are constantly swollen and black because I can't sleep in fear. I was told to sleep on the couch last night (I normally sleep with her because I don't have the privilege to have a bedroom and my own space). I was fine with that, but she ended up coming in there at 1 am to yell at me more. I don't know what to do. Every time I reach out to CPS they don't do anything. I can just pack my things and leave because the police will just bring me back here and my life will be worse than it is already. If I leave and she gets charged with child abandonment, she could lose her nursing license and I don't want that to happen to her. She worked so hard for it. I could go live with my dad, but, he does drugs and has a severe drinking problem. I don't think it would be safe there. I don't have any family and I scared if I contact CPS again my mom will manipulate them once again and just make my life worse. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know how much longer I can take it and the emancipation process might not work. If I do file for emancipation, I think I would have a pretty strong case, but I don't know. I make $1,125 a month, I don't have a car, but I normally walk everywhere anyway. I feel that I could support myself if I applied for government housing because rent at most places here is around $1,300 a month on average (not including utilities). I have friends I could live with while I'm getting myself on my feet and get into an apartment. But, I don't want their parents to be charged with a crime for harboring a minor. I feel like no matter what I do, I will be stuck with my mother and the emotional and sometimes physical scarring for the rest of my life. Please help me.
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 02-11-2021, 12:06 PM. Reason: deleted out some name details

  • #2
    First of all, thank you so much for reaching out to us at NRS today. We know it can be difficult to do so and it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like your mom is not really providing you with a safe and appropriate life at home. You do not deserve to feel like you are walking on eggshells and being criticized all the time.

    We are so sorry to hear that you had the strength to reach out to CPS and they didn’t help you. It is really frustrating when you are trying to look out for yourself and it doesn’t work out. It sounds like you have thought through a lot of options right now in order to keep yourself safe.

    In terms of leaving home, that is not illegal. You are correct that if you lived with friends their parents could be charged for harboring a runaway. If you do decide to leave, your mom may decide to call the police and they could possibly return you home, but the closer in age you get to 18, the less likely the police are to go searching for you are bring you home. It sounds like you have a lot of money saved up to look into housing.

    One option you can look into is a Transitional Living Program, which could help you get on your feet with the money you have. If you are interested in this option and want to hear about some resources in your area, please reach out to us anytime. We are available 24/7 on live chat at 1800runaway.com or you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929). We would be happy to talk to you anytime about your situation more in depth or just be a listening ear.
    Our utmost priority is for you to stay safe and we are so thankful you were able to reach out for help. We don’t want you to feel like you are stuck. Again, please feel free to reach out anytime.

    Best of luck and stay strong,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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