Planning to run away after graduating and getting a job but can't handle

[Guest]

Hello. First of all, I want to thank the person who is going to reply to my question. I am a girl who is 21 yo. I have one backlog in degree. I am planning to run away from home after clearing the exam and getting a job. but I am now thinking that I can't make it that long. I was planning this for a very long time. My parents are really toxic. Especially my mom. My father is so kind in nature but he won't say anything opposite to my mom's decision. My mom is so strict she won't allow me to go out with my friends(girls). I don't even have a mobile phone, now I am sharing my experience through my computer. Some times I miss my friends, I really want to talk with them but my mom won't allow me. She won't give me her phone to call my friends. I had a relationship when I was studying in 10th. She caught it while I was chatting with him. The chat was just casual talks. She suddenly took the phone and ask me whom I was chatting within the middle of the night. I panicked and said he was a friend of mine. I was studying in a girls-only school so she realized that it was my boyfriend. Later when I was studying in12th he broke up with me. Right now I have no relationship and my parents are still treating me like a dog. Before my relationship also my parents didn't want me to participate in school events like dance , sports, school tours... My mom always bans me to do such things but I will do certain things while I am in school like participating in some sports and school-level activities which she won't notice. I didn't go on a school trip or even to college with my friends and I regret it so badly. I know my parents love me but they don't want me to do want I want to do. I am always sad when I see my friends with their parents laughing and talking. I am not happy with my parents like them. I appreciate everything that they give me like food, cloth, education but I am now an adult and I cant still be like this. I regret a lot of things that I wasn't able to do when I was a teenager. Right now I don't want that same thing to happen in my youth. I want to travel. I want to be alone. I got a job that was outside my district so they didn't allow me to do that job. I can't even attend my interviews because the computer that I have is so old. It's not working properly. I am not living in a poor family. My parents and even my younger sister have really good mobile phones and we have money to do our daily activities. But still, they won't buy me a new laptop just because I am not good at studies. My sister is really good at studies so they gave a mobile phone to attend online classes. I am not that good at studies. I have above 6.5 CGPA on every semester except for one backlog but my parents are not satisfied with it. They want me to be the topper. They want me to be a girl who lives in a village who score really good marks and get a job then marry a person that they will find but I don't want that. I want to get a job and want to go out alone and explore the places, I missed a lot of fun in my childhood that the rest of my friends had in their childhood. Right now I want to be calm and peaceful. I want to go to a place where the people living there don't even know my name and want to start a new life. I want to help people and other girls like me to live their dreams. I want to get a job. I don't know what to do about that. All I have is just a plan to run away with my dress and some money. I don't have a job. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. Please help me. Can anyone suggest to me how to make it? Every day I am scared. Sometimes I think I am in depression. My parents won't take me to the hospital when I said to them once that I think I have depression. What can I do to get away from my depression? What all things should I think twice before running away as a girl who is living in India.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

[Guest]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Okay Thank you