Do i have any other options??

[Guest]

Hi i'm 15 and I've done a lot of research already. I want to move out of my house and stay with my boyfriend. My mom is very controlling and holds me up to an unimaginable expectation. Shes smacked me and whipped me and each time i can feel her anger and frustration behind it and it hurts. Not only that but she grounded me when i was diagnosed with depression and she doesn't like any of my friends and never lets me hang out at any of their houses. I know that my boyfriends parents can get in trouble for harboring a runaway, so i researched emancipation. I don't have a job, nor do i have the time or money for that kind of thing and i think my mom would have a whole freak out if i asked her to fill out the papers for me. I know i can get a petition but i would still have to tell my mom either way. I'm tired of her always taking her frustration and anger out on me and i want it to stop. I'm also very scared to call the police and what not because every time i threaten it she says "Once i get out of jail your gonna get you A** beat" Or "Go ahead ill dial it for you but once i get out i will find you." She also acts really nice and sweet to me around other parents or my friends and i sick of it.. I just want to leave. I've been dealing with it since i was 9. NINE! ( i attempted to kill myself at 13 but failed and I've never herd the end of it from her. "Oh what your gonna blame your depression on me!?" or "You can cry yourself to sleep i don't care." And the thing that bothers me to no end is the fact that my dad is completely blind to all of this. I just want to leave but like i said, Emancipation is complicated and if i did the petition i would have to let my parents know either way. I'm scared to call the police because i don't want her to do those things to me. and i dont want to get my boyfriends parents in trouble for harboring a runaway. Please, Do i have any other options ??

[ccsmod15]

Hey there thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline,
It seems like you are going through a lot at home right now and you aren’t sure exactly how to proceed. You should never have to go through things like you are describing with your mom. You don’t deserve to be hit like that and be her punching bag to take out her frustrations. It is understandable to consider calling the police but to second guess and be worried about the long-term consequences. It seems like your dad is also frustratingly ignoring the pain and suffering you are going through and is unwilling to step in on your behalf to keep you safe. It’s a lot to go through and we are so proud that you made the first step and reached out to us for help.
From what you are describing you are experiencing physical and emotional abuse from your mom. You don’t deserve to be treated this way by anyone, much less a parent that is supposed to be there to protect you and support you. It seems like she has threatened retribution if you reached out to police to protect yourself from the abuse that she is doing. Police are there to protect you, and that protection doesn’t stop just because your mom served her sentence. Child Services and Police will still look to prevent your mom from knowing where you are, or to have any access to you to hurt you in the future. For now, they are also only threats, but you are also experiencing a lot of hardship on a daily basis from her that you don’t deserve and contacting police or child protective services are one of the best options to end that situation. If you want to learn more about child abuse and what CPS/DCFS might be able to do to protect you, please go to https://www.childhelp.org/ for more info.
It seems like you have a good grasp of the other options you have in emancipation or being a runaway and living with a friend or boyfriend or even other family. Generally emancipation can be difficult, especially at 15 (minimum age is often 16) and without a job or safe alternative place to stay long term. It might be worth exploring or planning for the future by looking at the job market and seeing what options there are for you now or at 16.
As for staying with a friend or boyfriend, you are correct that they (or their parents) would face possible harboring a runaway charge, which is a misdemeanor and could come with possible jail time. We aren’t legal experts but from what we’ve heard from police and word of mouth is that those risks are low if they provide a safe place, and don’t try to prevent police from getting into contact with you. Additionally, if you are escaping an abuse situation police are supposed to allow child services to investigate the allegations of abuse before sending you back home. For more information about that we would encourage you, or your boyfriend/their parents, to call the local non-emergency police line to learn more about the possible consequences.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
Wow it seems like you have gone through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone. Wow it seems your mother treats you super unfairly, and also seems like she could be abusive. You did not deserve to be grounded for being diagnosed with depression or the things your mother tells you. We are sorry that you are going through that. It is understandable that you do not want to get the police involved but you could consider talking to a school counselor or trusted adult about what is going on. They could help you with making a report to child protective services, you can also make a report by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information. It seems since you have done your research that you know about harboring a runaway and if you were found it is possible to be returned. That is true some states however do not press charges on harboring a runaway, to find this out you can always call your local court house and ask. Unfortunately, it seems the only way for you to leave legally is emancipation or getting CPS involved. But keep in mind even with those options it would not guaranteed you leaving. One option to consider would be trying to find things you enjoy to keep your mind off of what is going on at home.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Oh my god thank you so much for the information. I feel alot better now abt talking to a parent. I will definitely go to my counselor tommorrow during school. Again thank you soooo much, im very great full. <3 Have a blessed night <3