I want to live with my grandperants

[Guest]

I am 17 and I am going to become 18 in 2021 next year. And well, I really want to move with my grandparents because I am tired of my parents calling me immature. But how am I supposed to mature if they still don't let me hang out with my friends at all and I still have to turn in my phone before bed? I cannot even go outside and take out the trash because they are watching me. I honestly don't even get a bit of freedom. I actually had to sneak out at night with my boyfriend, just because my mom always has me at home and won't let me be alone for a second. Luckily my parents didn't find out I sneaked out and came back safely. I don't want to live with my parents any longer. There is always something going on and my dad is always pissed at me and I can't make a mistake because then he starts making a whole speech about it and starts yelling at me. And sometimes he just calls me selfish because I seem to always like texting with my only friends. Can I move to my grandparents' house without court if I don't feel comfortable with my parents?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by your parents’ restrictions, and it’s understandable you’d be thinking about trying to leave. Everyone deserves to feel respected and to have some alone time, and no one likes to feel like they are under suspicion all the time.

We’re not legal experts, but generally you need to be 18 to leave home without your parents’ permission. If you decide to leave anyway and your parents call the police, the police have the right to bring you home, but running away is not usually considered a crime. There are pros and cons to running way Another option to think about would be checking if your parents would let you stay with your grandparents temporarily. That way you could all get a break and some breathing room, and you would not be considered a runaway. Another option would be communicating how you are feeling to your parents and seeing if they might agree to compromise on some things. For example, maybe you could agree to stay home on weeknights but they could relax their curfew on the weekends. Sometimes it can be helpful to write out how you’re feeling in a letter or email instead of talking in person. Asking another adult, like a grandparent, to help you talk to your parents can also make them more likely to hear you out. At NRS, we offer a free conference call service with parents where one of our volunteers mediates the conversation between a youth and their parents to make sure everything stays respectful and has a chance to be heard.

If you’d like to learn more about this option or talk more about your situation, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
Stay strong,
NRS