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  • I want to leave home

    I'm 15, and I live with my mom. From childhood, she has been mentally abusive, tearing away at my self-esteem. She is also very homophobic, and I am in the closet. She's always tried to force her dreams onto me, and wants me to be a part of her religion. I can't take it anymore. One of my older sisters wants to take me in, and she talks about how she regrets leaving me with my mom. My sister said that a cps report wouldn't work because they would mainly be looking for signs of physical abuse (such as bruises). I could become emancipated when I turn 16, but I would need to be financially responsible. I cannot do that when every minute of my day is scheduled (my mom makes me help her with her sources of income like doordash). I'd run away, but I don't know if my sister would be charged with harboring a runaway since all state laws are different. I live in Nevada, and my sister lives in California. What do I do?

  • #2
    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 18 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so. Maybe your sister could convince your mom to allow you to stay with her for a little bit, and you could work towards becoming more financially independent. It is a possibility that she would be charged, but we are not legal experts.

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      *LANGUAGE WARNING* I am under the age of 15, and want to leave my home. My dad seems to always be angry all the time. I live with my dad because my mom is a drug addict. He has called me profanitys once or twice. He also has tried to kick me on my thigh when i was running away from him to go to my room. I am typing this on my school computer because he has taken my phone and all electronics away from me because i opened instagram accounts without asking. I feel afraid to tell my dad anything. I once told him i did not like how he said something to me, and he blew. Whenever I do something, anything wrong, he will start to bring up everything i have done wrong. just last night, he yelled at me for chipping some of our plates which he makes me put away. I tried to walk away and go in my room and he shouted at me to get back in the same room with him, because he wanted to talk. His "friend" jen, was also there and my dad yelled at her also. he always yells at her. Im still surprised she is still friends with him. But as I was saying, I went back in the same room with him, and he started yelling. He then told me to go to my room, so i went. I did not shut the door though, and i heard him say, "********ing **********es". After I heard him say that, I balled my eyes out. I still can not believe he said that. Also, i have this drawer in the bathroom for my feminine products. I remember one morning he told me, "why is there trash in your period drawer?" first of all, why was he looking in there? he then started to get angry. He threatened, "You can buy your own female stuff. Im not buying you nothing anymore. You ca figure it out." now, that obviously did not happen, but he threatened me. He always threatens me. He says stuff like, "Ill throw you through the ********ing wall." or, "If you were a boy, I would slap the ******** out of you." he makes me feel like i cant even be around him. He makes me scared. I am so sad to the point I wont get out of bed. I sleep allllll day. I also wont ride my bike anymore. I would rather watch TV. also, I go to a after school care/ summer camp every day except for the weekends.Whenever I her a teacher say, "Your leaving!" I feel like i want to cry. I do not want to call child services because my dad will get mad at me. And he will say stuff to make me change my mind, like manipulation. What do I do??

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). We understand you may be hesitant to make a report, but your safety is the most important thing.

        If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

        Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
        Take care,
        NRS
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