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I want to live with my dad but my mother has custody.

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  • I want to live with my dad but my mother has custody.

    About a year ago my mother and my stepdad split up. Since then I was supposed to live with my biological father in Mississippi. My mother has yet to file any paperwork for him to have guardianship and had even told her friends she does not plan to do so. My mother is emotional abusive and at time can be physically abusive. When she left my stepdad, my siblings and I rarely saw her for 5-6 months.

    I was supposed to move to live with my dad back in December, and even to this day my dad says I’m still welcomed to live with him. My mother’s main reason for not allowing me to go is simply that she doesn’t want to drive from New York to Mississippi, and then back. I have issues that she doesn’t seem to care about. For the past couple of years I’ve been depressed and she’s never tried to help. She also did not do anything when both my middle and high school tried to help me find some sort of therapy.

    Recently CPS was also involved in our lives for my mother being abusive and my sister showing signs of sexual assault. (she is 6) They did not listen to anything I said about my mother. Also during this time, due to the signs of sexual assault, my mother made my sister and I leave and find somewhere else to stay, instead of her boyfriend. We couldn’t stay at my stepdad either because of that. I did tell CPS that I did not want to live with my mother and that I wanted to live with my dad. Anytime I told them about my mother they would ignore it and change the subject.

    My mother even questioned me and threatened me about what I told the CPS worker. The last time she showed genuine affection towards me was when I was 8, when she found out both my cousin and I had been raped. Ever since then she’s been cold. She tells me often that I’m lazy, disgusting, and anytime I’m near her she tells me to get away from her. Due to my depression I sleep around 15 hours a day and I don’t have the best hygiene either. She’s done nothing to help me but instead degrades me for something I’m having trouble with.

    My dad is often the one who is supportive of me. I’ve never had any issues with my father the way I do with my mother. I’ve never really spoken to my mom about any of my interest, or feelings since she usually tells me to go away, but my father asks about them quite often and will listen to me when he has the time.

    I’d feel safer living with my dad but I’m not entirely sure how I could with my mother. She often says that if I try to leave she will call police because she has custody. Im not sure what I can really do in this situation.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. NAMI is a great resource to utilize for support for your emotional needs. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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