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What do I do? Am I overreacting?

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  • What do I do? Am I overreacting?

    Uh, so Hi! I've never tried anything like this and never had... But, I guess it's worth a shot? I'm sort of desperate at this point. So, background information. I'm 15, turning 16 in a few months. I have a 21 year old sister who isn't living with my biological mom like I am. My parents are divorced, my mom remarried. Okay? Okay. So... While my sister was living here, with my mom, my mom always would give her a full page of chores to do as a list. Usually my sister would get them done, she didn't have a job at this time so she was alright. She then got a job. She asked my mom to lessen the list since she can't clean the house every day and work. My mom said she would and the list just went back to its usual state after a week. This went on for a while until my sister couldn't take it and quit her job. This repeated, my sister getting a job only for her to quit a few months later. Constantly, my mom would hold that over her head,"You can't even hold a job for more than 3 months" ex. While at the same time coming to me every now and then and saying,"Don't turn out like your sister. Graduate instead of getting a GED." Always using that when I wasn't doing good in a subject in school. Saying I'd turn out like my sister and never be able to get a good job. She still does this to this day. My sister moved out a few months after her 21st birthday to live with my biological dad. He lives in a camper. So, not really the best living conditions due to the size. She seems happy enough though. When I'm with my dad he's constantly berating my mom and saying how manipulative she is and such. Which I'm sure is manipulative on his part. My mom has major anger issues, once coming home from work screaming and yelling and stomping off into her room to take a bath. Now, normally she would do this if she "had a bad day" (Which, mind you, just so happens to be every other day) and so after she was in there for a bit I went in and asked if she had a bad day. She replied with,"No. It was just cold outside." I promptly left, rather angry that she basically threw a tantrum over the weather. While my sister had lived here they constantly fought, my sister pointing out when my mom was being unreasonable. Now that she's left, my step dad is too cowardly to stand up to her. I'm too young, whenever I try to point something out I'm just told to stay out of it or threatened with having my things taken. Lately my dad has been trying to point it out to her which just leads to screaming and yelling and him eventually backing down. There isn't a day that goes by lately that isn't filled with people yelling. Granted, it isn't usually at me any more but it still effects me. I don't want to hear people yelling and screaming over the stupidest things. I have an Anxiety Disorder. Funny thing is; I don't need to take my meds when I'm with my dad. Only with mommy dearest. One could argue that that's because I don't do school with my dad, to which I'll say that he's helped me with homework while I was off meds for weeks in a row. My mother also convinced a doctor to prescribe me with Adderal and Sertraline. These two drugs combined are seriously dangerous, it effected me very much. I was around 6-7 at the time and I believe it effected me mentally, permanently. I want to live with my dad but hate the camper, it's way too crowded and my dad has said that when I turn 16 he'll buy a condo. But I'm just scared. I have pets here, I have so much stuff here. I have a cat that sleeps with me every night and it's gotten to the point where it's hard to sleep without him. I have my guitar, fish, phone, everything my mom has bought me one way or another. I also do love this house and my bed, and well, I still love my mom despite myself. I've made friends, I love them all dearly and my dad has promised to get the condo near enough to my school to stay there. But my friends won't be able to go to my house in this new place, too far. I'm just in a huge... pickle. I want to leave now but I can't really. Also, when I turn 16 my mom will have a battle with my dad in court. She's told me this several times and so has my step dad. I believe her considering she's already taken my dad to court roughly 3 times. I'm just scared and I don't know what to do. My dad isn't really good, he's pretty crappy too. My mom is just worse. I just don't know. Maybe this is normal. Maybe it's not. I'm too scared to tell anyone else, besides I listen to all of my friends problems but they never want to listen to mine. I doubt they'd want or even care to listen to any of this. So, I'm reaching out on the Internet... Thank you.

  • #2
    re: What do I do? Am I overreacting?

    Hi there,

    It seems like because of everything going on at home, that you needed to vent. You mentioned that you feel happier with your dad, despite your anxiety that you feel and also not going to school. At the same time you feel worried about having to leave all of your things at your mom's house. That being said you may want to consider what you might do in case living with your dad doesn't work out as promised. It's great that you find some happiness there. But what if he doesn't move? What if you start to have anxiety about something else and start to regret leaving behind the things you enjoy? Those are real consequences that could happen if you decided to leave. Also, with your mom likely to go to court over the situation, it's possible that you are sent back home right to the situation that you tried to leave in the first place. We can't tell you what you should do, but you can think more about what you really want and then make a decision from there.

    Take care,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      I need help on doing the right thing
      Hello, my name is Sofia and I am 18 years old. I value independence almost more than anything. However, I have lived with my parents almost my whole life and have always been supported by them. I had a restaurant job for a little over a year to make my own money and gain work experience but recently left at the advice of my parents.
      I owe them not only my life, for providing me with everything I’ve ever needed to be a successful student and employee, but $1000+ for gas money, food, and traffic tickets.
      I live with my immediate family in a nice house that we can’t afford. My parents want a separation after 20 years of marriage and my dad sleeps on the couch every night. I am not close with my younger brother. I have three cats.
      I smoke weed. I have been smoking regularly for about a year now, and recently made close friends that smoke and also have their own problems. My parents would classify them as unsavory. They are planning on moving into their own apartment soon and have even asked if I would consider paying rent too, which I thought about. I am very apprehensive and don’t know if FINANCIALLY I’d be able to live on my own, but I do desire to leave. I talked about it with my mother and she said I’d be a fool to throw away room and board and leave my family. I recognize this.
      Because I smoke and occasionally drink, this morning I awoke to find that she had confiscated and searched the iPhone that she bought a few years ago for me to have. As you may know, this piece of technology is critical and highly personal, containing all my photos, appointments, and conversations. Furthermore, she confiscated all keys and watched me take a drug test, searched my room, and informed me that none of my peers are to be on her property, and that the only time I am to leave the house is for her to drive me to my classes at community college. Her exact words to describe me were a lying criminal, which is correct. I feel like a prisoner, with a very soft bed and three cats. I am distressed, because everything in my body wants to pack a bag and leave but I know this is a rash decision, as I know that my friends aren’t always going to be there for me like my family.
      I need advice as to what I should do, legally, emotionally, and for my parents. Thank you.


      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there -

        If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

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