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It all started when school did. I always wanted to try new things and make new friends. Because of this, teacher would call home and tell me of what a "disruptive child" I was. Also, I was never a bad kid. Didn't do anything wrong. I was just outgoing. Of course, my parents didn't like that. My father would beat me everytime this occurs. Suddenly, 2 hours felt like 2 days.
This'll happen all the way up until highschool. I try to be outgoing, but I actually feel ******** (sorry) because of my parents. It's reasonable though. I'm a teenager now. I want to be treated like an adult but my parents aren't ready for it.
However, my parents would not give up an opportunity to make me feel like ******** (sorry again). Everytime we argue, they would always insult me in unimaginable ways. They'd make me feel retarded, "special", selfish, and worthless (keep in mind that there isn't a week that we don't argue). If the argument lasts more than 20 minutes, my father would start pulling threats out of nowhere and start swearing.
If I feel like I "win" the fight and my father knows it, he makes an irrelevant comment and makes me feel like the bad guy. I'm not though. I make reasonable comments and play it smart. He makes everything loud and blunt. Also keep in mind that he's double my weight and I'm a skinny kid. I think he knows that if he threatens me I'd shut the hell up.
Regarding running away, yes I want to do it. I'm only 14 and going to be 15 in the summer. I have only half a thousand dollars and absolutely nowhere to go. I thought about all my options and why I want to run away. I absolutely think my intentions are reasonable. I want to run away because I don't want my parents in my life. Yes, I am breaking a commandment, but I just can't stand it. I feel like if I live with them and fights happen constantly, then I would just explode and either end up hurting/killing them OR me. YES I know it is horrible. This is how I feel though.
I don't think I would be able to reach the age of 18 and legally move out. I need help. Since I wasn't the kid everyone knew anymore, I have no close friends. I live up North and I know it'll be cold. I do believe if I run away that I would end up dead. But I still cannot stand my parents. Though I can keep going on about my life, I think I would just end it here. Thank you.
Plus, writing all this made me feel a lot better because I just had to tell someone. No friends=no one to talk to. Again, thank you.
This'll happen all the way up until highschool. I try to be outgoing, but I actually feel ******** (sorry) because of my parents. It's reasonable though. I'm a teenager now. I want to be treated like an adult but my parents aren't ready for it.
However, my parents would not give up an opportunity to make me feel like ******** (sorry again). Everytime we argue, they would always insult me in unimaginable ways. They'd make me feel retarded, "special", selfish, and worthless (keep in mind that there isn't a week that we don't argue). If the argument lasts more than 20 minutes, my father would start pulling threats out of nowhere and start swearing.
If I feel like I "win" the fight and my father knows it, he makes an irrelevant comment and makes me feel like the bad guy. I'm not though. I make reasonable comments and play it smart. He makes everything loud and blunt. Also keep in mind that he's double my weight and I'm a skinny kid. I think he knows that if he threatens me I'd shut the hell up.
Regarding running away, yes I want to do it. I'm only 14 and going to be 15 in the summer. I have only half a thousand dollars and absolutely nowhere to go. I thought about all my options and why I want to run away. I absolutely think my intentions are reasonable. I want to run away because I don't want my parents in my life. Yes, I am breaking a commandment, but I just can't stand it. I feel like if I live with them and fights happen constantly, then I would just explode and either end up hurting/killing them OR me. YES I know it is horrible. This is how I feel though.
I don't think I would be able to reach the age of 18 and legally move out. I need help. Since I wasn't the kid everyone knew anymore, I have no close friends. I live up North and I know it'll be cold. I do believe if I run away that I would end up dead. But I still cannot stand my parents. Though I can keep going on about my life, I think I would just end it here. Thank you.
Plus, writing all this made me feel a lot better because I just had to tell someone. No friends=no one to talk to. Again, thank you.
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