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I’m 14 and I wanna leave my home. What do I do?

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  • I’m 14 and I wanna leave my home. What do I do?

    I’m 14, about to be 15 in around 2-3 months. I’ve been adopted for about two years, which i’m thankful to be out of the four years I spent in the foster care system.
    I feel like I owe them a debt. But they mistreat me and my sister who is a legal adult, but can’t move out due to our current circumstances.
    We just recently got two new kids. An autistic kid, who i won’t name or state the age of, and a baby.
    Every morning, every single morning, at around 7-8AM me and my sister get up and take care of them until 3-5PM. It’s tiring. My parents get mad when we say anything or we act out in the slightest, one single slip up sets them off screaming and yelling.
    Two nights ago we got in a fight. Long story short, my dad cornered me and hit me, so, instinctively, i slapped him back. Everyone in the house, except my sister who actually witnessed it, said i’m a liar and that he’d never hit me. After i smacked him back he threw me on the bed and hit me over and over again.
    Everyone took his side except my sister.
    He hits my sister at least once a month and he hits her HARD. He also is constantly smacking the autistic kid around. He’s not an addict and he’s not an alcoholic, i’d know since i grew up with both and he doesn’t have either signs of those.
    They took all forms of communication I have, my computer, the ipad, and my phone. The only reason i’m typing this is because i have two backup phones they don’t know about. My friend gave me these just in case this exact scenario happened.
    I assume they took my electronics because they don’t want me reaching out to anyone, or maybe i’m paranoid and this is just a form of punishment?
    I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if it’s in my head and i’m being a dramatic, attention seeking, **********. all of my friends have been saying i need to leave for months now.
    I have a safe place to stay, god but i’d hate to get her mom in trouble. Her mother told me how much she absolutely hates the way my parents treat me, and she wants to take me in. I talked to my friend, the very friend who gave me this phone, and her mom said she’d pick me up (at night) whenever i wanted to leave.
    i’d love to say i’m mature for my age, but this situation is making me rethink that. I don’t know what to do anymore. If i leave, i’ll be sent back here when i’m found. i’ve been considering this for a very long time, and they finally broke me. To a point where i don’t know what to do anymore.
    ive always known where to go, who i am, what i’m doing. always.
    but if i leave everything behind, the people who gave me a future, a home, i’ll never be forgiven and i’ll never be seen as their daughter ever again.
    Im so uncertain. If they find out about this, that i’m even CONSIDERING such a drastic and bold move, i’ll be disowned.
    I don’t know what to do. I really need some guidance. I’m so lost and i don’t even feel like i’m in my own body anymore.
    thank you, so much, for any advice.

  • #2
    Hello,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
    In regard to you wanting to leave home, w
    hile we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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