i'm 19, feeling so depressed/alone i want to leave home without knowing my parents

[Guest]

hello everyone!!
i'm nobody and i'm 19, i'm from a small beautiful country, today i'm gonna share my sad story here, because no one wants to listen me and I need to do something for myself that will make me happy.

i have several issues i'm in big trouble i need help.

issue-1
I have been thinking about leaving home for a long time but now I don't know what to do.i'm feeling so depressed because every person ignored me even my family don't care about me and my relationship with my parents has not been healthy for the past 2-3 years because i'm not good at study.

actually, i don't like study but i'm really interested in sports even i told them about it,but they ignored me.I feel oppressed in my own home. my parents have kicked me out multiple times but i know anytime that I tried to leave they would stop me. i want to drop college and i want to focus on my dream.

issue-2
last year my gf left me and attached with another guy that was the saddest moment for me because i loved her more than my life and trusted her but she betrayed me.i don't want to share more about it, its making me cry.


issue-3
my friends are making joke of me all-time, even in my college most of the peoples are did the same thing, i don't know why they hate me, someone slapped me without any cause that makes me cry.i have very few friends. I've got some nicknames like looser, dumb, mad and more....


issue-4 present situation..
i'm feel so depressed and alone every-time, no one wants to help me listen me.i cant even sleep and eat properly. every-time i got suicidal thoughts in my head but i don't want to kill myself. i'm feeling like this world don't deserve me.i have no talent, there is another world for me.

that's why i'm going to leave my home i want to make myself proud i want to do what ever i want and follow my dream. I am scared of my parents reaction. this is the first time i shared my thoughts with someone.i'm really interested to know your answers and thoughts about my decision.

thank you so much everybody.
good bye
regards,
Mj

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. You definitely do not dserve to be treated that way. You are not alone in this. You mention thoughts of killing yourself. We take this very seriosly. If you every are feeling that way and think you may be in danger, reach out to your local authorities.
The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
Stay safe!
NRS