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Almost 18, worried about my senior year

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  • Almost 18, worried about my senior year

    My situation is pretty complicated, so this is going to be a long one. I'll try and be as brief as I can while including all necessary details.

    I'm living with my mother right now. She's getting to be elderly, is emotionally (and sometimes even physically) abusive, and neglects many of my basic needs. CPS had to be called just to get me on the medication I need, and even now, she berates me when I'm having issues with my mental health and chronic pain. She doesn't keep enough food in the house- she prefers to spend her money on alcohol and cigarettes. If I order food on my own, or if my friends give it to me, she yells at me and cries, because I'm 'making her look bad'. This is despite the fact that I'm clinically underweight, to the point I've had issues maintaining a proper menstrual cycle. I know I could call CPS again, but at this point, it isn't worth it to me. I'm too busy with extracurriculars and dual enrollment classes to deal with that sort of stress and legal issues, and I turn 18 in September anyways. Instead of calling CPS, I'm going to wait until I turn 18... and then I'm thinking about moving out.

    The topic of me moving out came up between us on accident the other day. I didn't even bring it up, it just happened. I said that I wasn't seriously considering it- admittedly, a lie- but had only thought about it for practicality reasons, as my house is very far away from the school. In response to this... She started crying. Again. The typical narcissistic guilt trip, really. 'I do so much for you, this is because i won't let you get your drivers liscence you're abusing me by threatening to move out if I do something you don't like,' et cetera. She then went through all the expenses and trouble I'd have, which honestly are valid concerns. What I wasn't going to tell her was, knowing the situation I have, I have multiple friends who are willing to house me, and their parents are on board. (They say they don't need rent, but I'd feel awful if I were just freeloading, so I'll help out with chores and the like if I run out of cash.) One in particular, her mom is a teacher at the school, and she does many of the same activities as me, so they would be able to give me a ride to most events. (In cases where I couldn't get a ride, I do have a working bicycle. I intend to keep working and get more money saved up, but I can't see a car being too practical, especially once I get to college.) I take duloxetine, and while I can function without it, I get daily headaches, nerve pains, and struggle with my mental health. Should I stay just to keep on my medicine? Are there ways to get my meds without my mom's help? What about the college admissions process? Can she prevent me from applying? I also find it likely that she would try and track me down at school events where I perform with the band... I don't want to get on bad terms with her, even after everything she does, but I really can't live like this. Any advice on moving out slowly, knowing what action she can take against me, or legal advice to do with my medication, would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

  • #2
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
    We are sorry you are going through abuse and your needs are being neglected, you do not deserve that. And we know you mentioned having CPS involved and that you turn 18 soon. A good resource that may help with your mental health is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
    We are not legal experts but from our understanding you would be legally allowed to leave home without permission. Once you do turn 18 you would be able to get your own insurance and it would allow you to get your medication. It may be a good idea to consider saving money before moving out. As far as college you would still be able to apply and you can talk with your school about financial aid.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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