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WARNING: long af because I desperately needed to get this off my chest. help please!

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  • WARNING: long af because I desperately needed to get this off my chest. help please!

    Hi, I'm currently 16 and wanting to get out of the house. I know, I know, every 16 year old wants this at some point. Don't get me wrong, where I am right now is more than what most kids are. My mom works for insurance and makes enough for my dad not to work and we don't have to worry about money. But me and my parents have never really clicked. They have never abused me, except for the occasional slap across the face from my mom, but I feel as though they don't want me. I was adopted when I was two, so I don't know how this would work considering they aren't my real parents.

    Anyways here's a couple reasons I want to leave the house. One is, with both my parents, it's their way, or the highway. On eveverything. If I like something that they don't like it's "You only like that because we don't." And me and my mother are polar opposites, and she tries to force me into being someone I'm not. They also b about everything, all my friends, the food I eat, the music I listen to, the movies I watch, literally anything and everything. They talk badly about all my friends and tell me why I shouldn't be friends with them. I also don't feel like they are emotionally attached to me, as in, when there are moments where you're supposed to hug your child, they don't. The biggest example (and one of the main reasons that I want out of the house more than ever) is that, long story short, my Ex-brother-in-Law forced himself on me and whenever I told them, my mom sat there crying because "why did you let that happen." And my dad say there and b about my sister, who understood I needed a few days to control my emotions and rented a motel room for me and her for a while without my parents permission. Anyways, how I told them was; they forced me too when I told them that I physically couldn't go to work, and sat there while I told them that I had to stop the Ex-Brother-In-Law from taking a gun to my sister and how the only thing stopping him from going all the way with me was a dog opening up the door, and him thinking it was the two kids who were asleep in the next room. They didn't ask me if I was okay, or if I needed to talk to someone (therapist), they procededed to tell me that I am no longer allowed to see my sister, whom I would spend every free minute with. There's a ton more, but I've already written a ton.

    Me and my sister have been talking about me moving in with her even a year before the incident happened. I have a job, and am planning on getting another one soon, I go to alternative school, and am honestly making D's, and I go to tech for cosmetology.

    I personally think that me moving in with my sister would be the better choice. Granted, I will be moving from a two story 'perfect' life, into a trailer where I'll have to start paying rent and any wants that is have. But I'm not materialistic by any means, the only time I'm truly happy anymore is when I see my sister for the brief periods that we can sneak.

    So I was planning on getting emancipated soon, or waiting until I turn 17, and moving in with my sister, but I have a couple questions:

    1.) what's the first step into getting emancipated?
    2.) can I go through all the legal work without my parents knowing about it until after it's done?
    3.) would I be allowed to leave the state and move to another one afterwards, even if my parents don't consent.
    4.) does me being adopted affect this at all?
    5.) If my parents don't consent to me being emancipated (which they more than likely will not) how can I go through the court process w/o getting them in trouble.

    And most important one:

    Am I being irrational in this? I mean, I have all the physical objects any kid dreams for, my parents are still together (unhappy, but still together), but I want to be with a person who actually shows everyday that they care. I'm not gonna drop out, or do anything radical like that, because I'm smarter than that, plus my sister motivates me in my school better than my parents.

    Last thing (kinda important): I'm gonna go into very little detail, but my sister is not what you'd call a good citizen. She's told me honestly what all she's done, and some things she still does. As of right now she is living in the only place she can afford, with an even worse person as a roommate. Me and her roommate are friends and I know that she wouldn't do anything towards me to hurt me, legally hurt me as well. But even through all this, I am my sisters top priority. She won't leave to another state like she and me desperately want to, unless I'm in tow. She never lets me around people who could hurt me, she protects me to so much extent, it's like I have a personal body guard.

    But still, I'll have to take that into consideration, that I'd be around a bad crowd, I'd be protected to the nines, bit those people would be more than likely always hanging around the house.




    Please give me advice, I'm so desperate at this point. Something needs to happen, and happen fast because I'm past my breaking point, I have stopped caring about everything, I have no interest anymore, I've been becoming more aggressive than usual and I don't want that to lead me into legal troubles, I'm constantly sad and mad at the same time, and I'm so close to snapping and just saying F it and running away with my sister. But I would prefer to do this smart, and legal.

  • #2
    re: WARNING

    Hello,

    Thanks for contacting us. It's understandable that you would want to be around someone that loves you. You deserve that. Being that you are a minor, it may be harder than you think to leave home and pursue emancipation without parent permission. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    Sincerely,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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