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Can i stay with my stepdad if my mom leaves him

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  • Can i stay with my stepdad if my mom leaves him

    so Im 15 years old and my mom has been jumping around from boyfreind since i was born. most of my familly is dead and the ones that i have left are crazy. so
    so my mom has been with a guy for a long time now and we moved in across the street from his grandparents (who have custody of his children) i have lived there
    for a while now and i have kind of replaced my old familly with a new one the other day my mom said she wanted to leave. the only problem is that if we leave I
    will never see them again. but shes selfish and doesn't care im just wondering if theres any way my step dad could have custody of me because to be honest
    my moms irresponsible to begin with is there any way he could sue for custody and theres a problem i forgot to mention there not actualy married there just together

  • #2
    RE: Can i stay with my stepdad if my mom leaves him

    First, we want to thank you for reaching out. It seems that you are in a complicate situations. It is understandable that you want to stay with your mom’s boyfriend because it seems that his family is providing you sense of closeness and security.
    About your question, we are not legal experts, so I cannot provide you a direct answer. However, our database has a lot of legal aid resources divided by areas. They provide no cost or sliding scale services. Unfortunately, we do not have your location, so we cannot supply those too you. If you decide to reach out to us over chat or phone, talk more and depth and provide us with your location we will be more than happy to help you with finding the best option.
    Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us. It is great that you are trying to take things in your hands and figure out your options. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.
    Thank you!
    Good Luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      So my friend is currently with her step-dad and her step dad has custody of her little sister. Her and his relationship was a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship. They were not married but now she is currently staying with the dad of her little sister. Her father is not with her at the moment. She wanted to know if it is possible to get away from the father of her sister to be with her mother and nothing will happen.


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline.
        It sounds like your friend is having a hard time with her step-father. We’re sorry to hear that but she sounds really lucky to have a friend like you looking out for her.
        We are not legal experts here. It would come down to custody. Whoever has legal custody can determine where a minor lives. If she’s been told to stay there by her legal guardian, if she left, she could be considered a runaway. The police could be involved if that happened.
        It sounds like a complicated issue. If you’d like, you or your friend are welcome to call us here and talk about this in more detail. We’re available 24/ 7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
        All the best,

    • #4
      my mom wants to leave my step dad whom has raised me since I was two years old and I love him and i want to live with him if she leaves him can I live with him if she leaves since hes been more of a father to me then my biological father


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline; it takes a lot to reach out during stressful times. It sounds like you have a very strong relationship with your stepfather and that he cares a lot about you.

        Unless your stepfather has custody over you, staying with him instead of your mom might be a difficult legal process. One option you have is to talk to your mom about how you’ve been feeling. This conversation may lead to a sort of compromise, for example arrangements to see your stepfather more often than you might have. At the National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calls where someone here moderates a conversation between the caller (youth) and their parent. These are found to be helpful in having difficult discussions as we make sure that the call is productive and respectful on both ends.

        If you have any questions going forward or want to talk again, know that our lines (1-800-RUNAWAY) are open 24/7 and that we are here for you. We can help explore more specific options and navigate your choices going forward.

        Good luck,

    • #5
      So my mom and stepdad have been together seen I was one. I hadn't seen my birth father at all so I always thought that my stepdad was my father until one day my mom and stepdad started talking and I overheard it. Anyways my mom and me have been fighting and it's not that I don't love her cause I do it She just gets to running her mouth and talks ******** about me and talk down to me that my anger gets to me and I just start hitting. But my question is if my stepdad leaves my mom can I go with her or does he need to get custody of me or anything? And another question, when can I move out of my mom's house?


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS, we’re glad to hear from you. It sounds like you have a lot of painful experiences with your mom, so it makes sense you need some change. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms.

        It seems like you are confused about the status of your stepdad or custody works. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to know exactly what is allowed, because rules vary widely by state and local laws as well as the situation itself. That is up to the courts.

        18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may be able to better answer your questions. You can find the local non-emergency police phone numbers here:

        It seems like you're struggling to find a safe place to vent your hurt feelings. Have you considered speaking to an individual you trust? For example, a school counselor. If you need someone on the spot, NAMI offers a list of warmlines: And, of course, we are here for you, too.

        If you want to talk in greater detail, consider your options, we are here for you. You can call or chat online. We cannot reply to forums more than twice. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

        Best wishes,

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