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13 and scared to leave an abusive house

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  • 13 and scared to leave an abusive house

    Hi I’m [name edited] and I’m 13 I live with my grandma and grandpa along with my 2 brothers due to my parents not being able to take care of me, my grandma is narcissistic and abusive. When I do something she does not like she forces me to do it her way, by force I mean at the age of 7 getting dragged by my hair out of a chair and held against the window as I cry and yelling at me, or the age of 12 getting held by my hair and slapped as my little brother beats me in my eye with keys. I have tried many times to tell her what she does is bad but she refuses it. She won’t send me to therapy even tho I need it and has treated me badly ever since I got back from the mental hospital due to thoughts of suicide. What do I do?
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-11-2020, 03:15 PM.

  • #2
    We are sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time at home. What you are describing is pretty severe abuse and totally unacceptable. It's good you are talking about it with us, though. You shouldn't have to face this alone and you don't deserve what you are going through. Fortunately, we are here to help and there are other supports available to you as well.

    One option you have is to file an abuse report on what's going on at home. We know sometimes that is a hard choice to make, but you do have that right. If an abuse report is made it would likely lead to a child protective services investigation. They would likely interview you and your grandparents and determine what the best course of action is. Sometimes that simply involves talking things through and checking up later to see if things are improving. If things are deemed detrimental to your well being, you could be removed from the home, though this is not always the case immediately. If you want to file an abuse report you can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You can also file through us here at National Runaway Safeline. But again, whether you decide to file or not is up to you. We honor whatever decision you make and support you either way.

    It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be seen and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Friends can also support you, but getting an adult involved often may help give you perspective that your peers may lack. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

    We are pretty concerned when you talk about killing yourself. That's pretty serious. If you ever feel suicidal, please reach out for the help you deserve. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is staffed by people trained to talk about suicide, so they are a great resource. You can reach them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255. You can also reach out to us anytime to talk about suicide or anything else on your mind. We want you to be safe. Things can get better and you have many options besides suicide. You may also want to reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to get help. It's not the same as therapy, but they can hopefully assist in talking through things with you. You can call them at 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 741741. Their website is www.nami.org.

    Please know that we take your story very seriously and are concerned for your well-being. We hope you give us a call to see how we can support you further. We noticed you posted on another of our forums but decided to just respond to your post above so that our response to you is all in one place. Stay safe!

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-11-2020, 03:32 PM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you for responding, I’m going to wait a bit and see if the abuse gets worse before filling a report due to nothing happening for the last few months and me being pretty stable. I was just wondering how does one fill out a report? Is it in person or digital?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        You can file an abuse report in several ways:

        1) Call your state's child abuse reporting hotline and they will ask you questions detailing the report. If you want to know the number for that you can google it or tell us what state you are in and we can give you the number.

        2) Call Child Help (1-800-422-4453) or us (1-800-RUNAWAY) and we can file a report on your behalf. If you don't want to talk on the phone you can file a report through us via chat using the portal at www.1800runaway.org.

        3) Tell a police officer, teacher, doctor, school counselor and they can file a report for you.

        Take care of yourself. We are happy to help.

        NRS

    • #4
      Thank you very much, I was wondering if you could file a report for me? Not at this very moment but when I have everything planned out. And I was wondering where I would go if I left them? My best friends parents offered to adopt me, and I’m wondering if that would work?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Yes, we can file a report for you whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Just call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat with us via the chat portal at www.1800runaway.org. Remember, though: filing a report does not automatically remove you from the home, but it is the initial step that would likely lead to an investigation that may lead to you being removed from home. We cannot say for sure exactly what will happen, however. We aren't legal experts and cannot really say how your friend's parents adopting you would proceed.

        Again, if you want further support or to make an abuse report, call or chat with us anytime.

        Best,
        NRS

    • #5
      Thank you very much and have a great day, I’m planning on calling you later tonight to ask a few more questions if that’s ok?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Of course. We look forward to hearing from you.

    • #6
      I was about to call the number but I heard my nana up so I tried to wait it out but she stayed up all night. How do I call y’all with out getting scared my nana is gonna come?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        You can file the abuse report through chat if you'd like. Follow the appropriate portal ("chat") at the top of this page: www.1800runaway.org.

    • #7
      Thank you very much!

      Comment

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