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18+ runaway

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  • 18+ runaway

    Hi. I have a friend who has been abused and is in a very rough spot at home with both her parents as well as her sister. She is 19 years old and will be 20 this year. Her father, whom she has a restraining order against by the police temporarily, has beaten her and abused her physically and verbally. He has been taken to jail but bailed out by the mother who defends him, (possibly out of fear) and blames the daughter for all the family trouble. The family had gone as far as forcing her to stay home from school where she has an apartment with her terrible sister and she has already missed a week of classes (midterms week on top of that). We live in Connecticut. I advised her to leave right away to our best friends house where they would very much welcome her and on Sunday she go up to the school campus and return to classes while living with our other very close friends in the dorm so she can avoid her sister at their apartment. Spring break is a week from now so she would return to the best friends house and essentially live there for the week then return to school. Now i also advised her to leave her house quietly and just leave a note or text to her family that she will be staying with a friend and is safe so that police won’t find the need to track and bring her home especially if she is 19 going on 20 years old. Is there any legal problem or other stuff we should think of before having her leave to our friends house?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 03-07-2020, 02:56 AM.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. She does not deserve to be abused in any way. It is not her fault.
    She has the right to want to be safe.

    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Things for her to consider is how she might survive without any of the support financially or otherwise she may be receiving from her family. It sounds like she is attending school so talking with the school financial aid office might be something to look into if she will need resources to pay for classes. Legally you mentioned that she has a restraining order out on her father. Good for her. Her safety is important. Standing up for herself takes a courage. Making a safety plan might also be a good idea. Letting friends know her activities for the day. If there have been any issues to be concerned about like threats or confrontations etc.
    For more specifics on how the law might assist her in this situation, contact the local non-emergency police number or search online for legal aid services. They may better answer legal questions. There is also The Domestic violence Hotline for support and services.
    To contact them call 1-800-799-7233

    You did a wonderful thing reaching out to NRS on her behalf. Your support probably means more to her than you know. Good job. NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We are here as support to help during this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

    If there is any risk of danger or safety, we encourage reaching out to 911 and seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Take care,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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