Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

[Guest]

Hello, I am 17 I just graduated high school. I’m trying to get out of my parents house as fast as I possibly can. I live in ny, I am 17 and my girlfriend is 18. Neither of us have jobs atm but we are both working on it. Personally I think there’s something mentally wrong with my mother and I know for a fact my father is a addict. I’ve tried everything I possibly can to make it easier but everything for last couple years has been hell. I try my hardest to get out of this house and go to my girlfriends, no matter how many times I try to get away I always get forced back by my mom. I understand some of the things she does but she’ll still force me to come home for absolutely no reason. Like today and yesterday for an example. I was at my girlfriends house across the road and she told me I had to be home last night because today is Father’s Day. Which I understand but then I get here and no longer then an hour after I get here my father takes off. Around midnight my mom ran off to “pick up my sister” just for me to wake up at 7 am to my mom dad and sister just getting home. Cause my mom picked up my sister and dragged her around all night to find my dad. I then fall back asleep and wake up later in the day to my dad gone again. Mind you it’s Father’s Day and I still haven’t seen him once. And my moms insisting I have to stay home and wait for him so we can go to “lunch” even tho I’ve been waiting for the last 6 hours I’m not aloud to go to my girlfriends house. And I guarantee if I did she would be running over right behind me making a scene. Cause she’s done that multiple times saying she’s going to call the cops and put me on p.i.n.s. She says the cop she’s going to call knows her so he won’t care about what I have to say just care what she has to say. Everyday I try and try and try and hope something will change. I feel like I’m trapped in this house with these crazy people that normalize bull******** behavior. (Sorry for my language) I just need out of this house as fast as I can and all I feel is stuck like there’s nothing I can do. Idk maybe my mom is right and I’m the crazy one.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have experienced years of erratic behavior by both your mom and your dad. It sounds like the things you have tried to make it better there just don't work on them. It's understandable to want to get out of there. It's understandable to feel like you are "the crazy one", but that is just your mind trying to make sense of a situation that is very erratic.
It takes a lot of strength to have grown up like this and to have graduated, despite the lack of support. We hope you feel proud of yourself for that.
As far as being able to leave, since you are still a minor and she has already threatened police and P.I.N.S., we would have to have a conversation with you to discover what other options you may have. Securing a job is an excellent first step so that at the very least, when you are 18, you'll be in a financial position to leave.
We hope you will either chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway). We are here for you 24/7 to talk this over.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 17 and pregnant and my mom isn’t doing anything for me while I’m pregnant. she’s not takin me to the doctors and she’s treating me like badly and I want to know if I can stay with the baby dad because he and his aunt does everything for me and our daughter ! PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME SOMETHING !!!!

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time with your mom, and want you to know that you are not alone.

You mentioned wanting to stay with your baby’s dad, we are not legal experts but do have some information. Because you are a minor you would need to get permission from your legal guardian if you do not get permission you run the risk of being reported as a runaway. What that means is it is a possibility that you could be returned home.

You mentioned that your mother is not helping you or taking you to doctor appointments, this may be considered neglect and you do have a right to make a report. You can report this by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. You do not deserve to be neglected in any way.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like

[Guest]

I live in california. Im 18 and my girlfriend is 17 and i live like 40 minutes away from her. her parents are very mentally abusive to her n i was wondering about her moving in with me and my parents. I know there are harboring laws n what not. and i know having sex with her is illegal because she is still a minor by law but we havent had sex yet. I know you guys arent lawyers but i dont know who else to ask. We are thinking about just moving her in with me. i know her parents wouldnt allow it. Would i get in legal trouble?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) regarding your question about the legalities involved in a runaway situation. As you had mentioned, we unfortunately are not law experts by any means and situations may vary, therefore it is difficult for us to give you a clear explanation as far as what you can expect to happen if your girlfriend were to run away to your house. It sounds like you have a general understanding surrounding harboring laws, which would be the ultimate risk in the situation. It is to our understanding that the head of household is likely to be the one to have the charges against them if they were to be pressed. In this particular situation, that would mean that whomever is the head of household in your residence may be the one to take the fall if charges were to be pressed for "harboring a runaway."

For a more clear understanding, it may be helpful to contact your local non-emergency dispatch number for the police department or a general legal aid phone number. They would be able to help provide further clarity and guidelines involving the situation. If you need help finding these numbers or have any further questions / would like to talk more about the situation, you are welcome to reach out to us through our online chat portal, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 18 and My girlfriend is 16 in Oklahoma it okay be together by the law and her family abuse and treat her like a slave and yall at her call her name and have try to put hand on your we both of try to talk to them most of the problem is her step dad we need help we try to reach out to someone but it hasn't work yut she want to leave so bad she she has cut herself bc of everything help please

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) regarding the situation your girlfriend is in. It sounds like there is abuse going on in her home and we see that you mentioned that you tried to reach out to someone, but that it did not help. We are terribly sorry to hear about the negative affect this has caused on your girlfriend's mental health and we are happy to be of support at this time.

Given that you mentioned your girlfriend has been self-harming, we would like to provide you with the contact information for 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a support line, similar to NRS, that specializes in crisis services. Your girlfriend may receive direct and personal support by reaching out to this organization on behalf of her mental health. She may do so by dialing 988 and speaking with them over the phone, or by utilizing their online chat option, which can be found on their website at www.988lifeline.org

We also invite you into further, more direct conversation with our organization if you would like to explore ways that we can provide support. We have the ability to provide resources in your area that may be viable during this time. Please know that we are not law experts, but we have general knowledge and understanding surrounding the laws in place for persons under the age of 18. You are welcome to contact us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by our online chat option, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org

We look forward to the opportunity to talk further with you and we are wishing you and your girlfriend a long, healthy life full of peace.

Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Girlfriend is 17 gonna be 18 in 2 months and wants to move in with me 18 due to abusive house hold , is there a way that can be possible without her parents permission? Wa state and would move to another state

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline today. It sounds like your girlfriend is in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation.

As you may know, the age of majority is generally 18; that’s when a young adult is legally able to move out of their parent or guardian’s home without permission. To verify this, you can go to www.sexetc.org for each state’s particular rules. If she wants to contact her local police department’s nonemergency number, she can ask how they might handle her situation if she were to move out prior to her 18th birthday. Each department is different in their approach.

You say that she is being abused, and she certainly does not deserve this. No one does. She deserves to feel safe and supported in her own home. If she would ever wanted to report this abuse or learn more about her options, she can go to www.childhelp.org. This is the national child abuse reporting hotline.

If you would like to share our contact information, she can also reach out to us for support and local resources. Our chat and phone lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we are her to talk with either of you. Our confidential crisis hotline number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 18 and I want to leave my terrible household to live with my 17-year-old significant other and my parents say they won't allow it and they said will take me to court to prove that I can't move in with a 17-year-old.

[ccsmod3]

Hi thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to leave your household and move in with your significant other. You mentioned that you are 18 and in most states the age of majority is 18 which means that legally you should be able to leave your house when you want to. In general, your parents would not legally be able to stop you unless they have an extended guardianship that goes past 18. You deserve to live in a house where you feel supported and it does not sound like living with parents is giving you the support that you need. If you would like to talk more about this or talk through some other options, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I live in Michigan and I've done a bunch of research and have asked many people about running away when I turn 17 in two months. I am adopted and my adoptive mother yells at me every day about the same things, she gaslights me and does many other mentally abusive things, I don't get to go anywhere and hangout with friends because she doesn't know them and she doesn't want to meet them. I have a boyfriend that she doesn't know about because if she knew about him she would completely freak out and take me out of school and keep me on lock down until I'm 18. My mental health in this house isn't okay and the only thing that keeps me happy is my supporting boyfriend and his family, my mother doesn't know anything about them or about the phone that I have. I want to live with my boyfriend and his family and be able to finish my senior year at my high school without being taken back to my mom. My birthday is a week before school starts and I want to be able to stay with him and his family and not have the police and my mom take me away. My mom knows some the sheriff and the sergeant in my town and I don't want things to be messed up. Please I just need more reassurance.

[ccsmod11]

Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like there's a lot going on right home that is making you want to leave home, which is understandable considering the things you've told us. We want to be there for you as you try to navigate this tough situation.

To make sure you're fully informed, here are the things you need to know about leaving home:

If you choose to leave home without your mom's permission, she could choose to file a runaway report with the police which means they will find you and bring you home. Although you won't get in any trouble with the law and running away isn't illegal, you would have to face any consequences your mom might have for you.

Additionally, anyone you are staying with over the age of 18 could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. The way to get around this is to have your boyfriend's parents (or whoever you stay with) contact the police within 24 hours of you being there to let them know you're safe.

HOWEVER since you're 17 there's a chance the police might not pursue your case as much since you're so close to 18. It's impossible for us to say for sure, so we would recommend anonymously contacting your local non-emergency police line without giving away personal details and explaining your situation. That way you'll know for sure how they'll handle your case.

We know this is a lot of information, but we want to make sure you're fully aware of all the possibilities. Only you can make the difficult decision whether or not to leave home.

Would you consider explaining to your mom how the fact that she limits you so much is really hurting your mental health? If it's safe to do so, we'd love to help talk you through how this conversation might look. You might consider writing her a letter or using our conference call service to have a mediated conversation with her. No matter what you choose, we're here to support you.

We also encourage you to reach out to trusted friends, adults, and teachers for more guidance since they know you and your situation.

We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized advice. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-786-2929 (RUNAWAY). We hope to hear from you soon!
Good luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 17 and turning 18 in 3 months I was adopted by my grandma and she emotionally abuses me I really need to get out of this place I’m depressed and have really bad anxiety bc of it she resents me bc I look like my dad I just don’t know what to do anymore I tried to reach out to CPS and they didn’t do anything bc one time we got into a really bad argument and she took a hold of me and scratched my face and she lied and said it was makeup and I’m not allowed to have makeup so I don’t own any. She calls me stupid, lazy, and other stuff like that. I really need help and don’t know what to do…

[ccsmod11]

(If you are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room).

Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out to us. We're so sorry to hear about what's going on at home, and we'll do our best to help you out.

As you approach the age of 18, it could be beneficial to explore employment opportunities that can support your journey towards financial independence when you decide to leave your home situation. Finding a job can provide you with the means to sustain yourself. Additionally, it might be worth considering colleges, as many institutions offer scholarships or financial assistance programs specifically designed for students facing challenges living with their guardians. To gather more information about these options, we recommend reaching out to your school guidance counselor. They may have valuable knowledge about the services and resources available to students in your community. They can also guide you towards the appropriate avenues for further exploration and provide support for you and your situation.

It seems like there are communication issues between you and your grandma at home, and we want to inform you about a helpful service we offer at NRS called a conference call. Through this service, you can call our hotline number and speak with a crisis counselor who can facilitate a conversation between you and your grandmother. Together, you can work towards finding a resolution to the issues you're facing. We believe that everyone deserves to feel loved and wanted at home, and we're here to support you in achieving that.

If you have any trusted adults, friends, or family members whom you can confide in, they can also provide you with support. While discussing personal issues may be
challenging, it can be immensely beneficial for you.

If you ever feel that your safety is at risk, we strongly urge you to call 911 and make a police report regarding any physical incidents. Additionally, you can visit childhelp.org, where you can file an anonymous child abuse report. By doing so, a case worker will visit your home and investigate any reported incidents.
We strongly encourage you to call our hotline number and speak with a crisis counselor who can offer you assistance and support during this difficult time. You can reach us at 1-800-786-2929. Remember, you're not alone, and we're here to help. We wish you the best of luck.

Take care, The National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

[Guest]

i am 14 years old and my boyfriend is turning 16 in about a month and i have a plan to move in with him when he turns 18,he moved to Miami about 2 weeks ago but he plans on grauating at 18 and then coming back here to pensacola to get an apartment and then come and get me but i will be 17 turning 18 in 4 months at that time. i want to get out of my verbally abusive and harmful household and i feel as though he is my escape and i would be much happier to live with him. i need to know if i will be able to do this and be successful. Even though this is all gonna happen in like 2 years in a half.

[ccsmod6]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching to NRS. It sounds like things are difficult, but you are being proactive in figuring out how to improve your living situation. It is great that you are having a positive experience in your relationship and to be looking into the future. We are not legal experts and laws vary from state to state, but typically, if you are a minor (under 1 you can be committing a status offense since it is illegal to move out of a parent's home before 18. Furthermore, if your parents file a runaway report or a missing child report, if you happen to be picked up by the police, you would get returned back to your parents. In the state of Florida, it is also a crime to harbor a youth (anyone under 1 if they runaway and will get a criminal charge as well as a fine. Therefore, your boyfriend could get charged with this if you are staying with him when you runaway.

It is great that you reached out to find this information and encourage you to reach out to childhelp.org to learn more legal information to help you make positive decisions and remain as safe as possible. If you are experiencing child abuse, it is an option to reach out to CPS or DCFS in your state. You can also reach out to Child Welfare Information Gateway at (800) 394-3366 for support.


We encourage you to reach out to us via the chat option on our website 1800runaway.org or call us on the hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey. I'm 17 and I was wondering, when my boyfriend turns 18 in a couple days would we be able to get an apartment together? We both have stable jobs and would be able to keep an apartment with the money we make. We live in Florida.

[ccsmod14]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting NRS for support and advice. NRS is here to help you the best way possible. It seems that you and your boyfriend are self-sufficient individuals are are ready to have a place of your own. By you being 17, you are still consider a minor. It sounds like you are interested in emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.


Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS