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Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

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  • #76
    Hello, I am 17 I just graduated high school. I’m trying to get out of my parents house as fast as I possibly can. I live in ny, I am 17 and my girlfriend is 18. Neither of us have jobs atm but we are both working on it. Personally I think there’s something mentally wrong with my mother and I know for a fact my father is a addict. I’ve tried everything I possibly can to make it easier but everything for last couple years has been hell. I try my hardest to get out of this house and go to my girlfriends, no matter how many times I try to get away I always get forced back by my mom. I understand some of the things she does but she’ll still force me to come home for absolutely no reason. Like today and yesterday for an example. I was at my girlfriends house across the road and she told me I had to be home last night because today is Father’s Day. Which I understand but then I get here and no longer then an hour after I get here my father takes off. Around midnight my mom ran off to “pick up my sister” just for me to wake up at 7 am to my mom dad and sister just getting home. Cause my mom picked up my sister and dragged her around all night to find my dad. I then fall back asleep and wake up later in the day to my dad gone again. Mind you it’s Father’s Day and I still haven’t seen him once. And my moms insisting I have to stay home and wait for him so we can go to “lunch” even tho I’ve been waiting for the last 6 hours I’m not aloud to go to my girlfriends house. And I guarantee if I did she would be running over right behind me making a scene. Cause she’s done that multiple times saying she’s going to call the cops and put me on p.i.n.s. She says the cop she’s going to call knows her so he won’t care about what I have to say just care what she has to say. Everyday I try and try and try and hope something will change. I feel like I’m trapped in this house with these crazy people that normalize bull******** behavior. (Sorry for my language) I just need out of this house as fast as I can and all I feel is stuck like there’s nothing I can do. Idk maybe my mom is right and I’m the crazy one.


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have experienced years of erratic behavior by both your mom and your dad. It sounds like the things you have tried to make it better there just don't work on them. It's understandable to want to get out of there. It's understandable to feel like you are "the crazy one", but that is just your mind trying to make sense of a situation that is very erratic.
      It takes a lot of strength to have grown up like this and to have graduated, despite the lack of support. We hope you feel proud of yourself for that.
      As far as being able to leave, since you are still a minor and she has already threatened police and P.I.N.S., we would have to have a conversation with you to discover what other options you may have. Securing a job is an excellent first step so that at the very least, when you are 18, you'll be in a financial position to leave.
      We hope you will either chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway). We are here for you 24/7 to talk this over.

  • #77
    I’m 17 and pregnant and my mom isn’t doing anything for me while I’m pregnant. she’s not takin me to the doctors and she’s treating me like badly and I want to know if I can stay with the baby dad because he and his aunt does everything for me and our daughter ! PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME SOMETHING !!!!


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time with your mom, and want you to know that you are not alone.

      You mentioned wanting to stay with your baby’s dad, we are not legal experts but do have some information. Because you are a minor you would need to get permission from your legal guardian if you do not get permission you run the risk of being reported as a runaway. What that means is it is a possibility that you could be returned home.

      You mentioned that your mother is not helping you or taking you to doctor appointments, this may be considered neglect and you do have a right to make a report. You can report this by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. You do not deserve to be neglected in any way.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like

  • #78
    I live in california. Im 18 and my girlfriend is 17 and i live like 40 minutes away from her. her parents are very mentally abusive to her n i was wondering about her moving in with me and my parents. I know there are harboring laws n what not. and i know having sex with her is illegal because she is still a minor by law but we havent had sex yet. I know you guys arent lawyers but i dont know who else to ask. We are thinking about just moving her in with me. i know her parents wouldnt allow it. Would i get in legal trouble?


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) regarding your question about the legalities involved in a runaway situation. As you had mentioned, we unfortunately are not law experts by any means and situations may vary, therefore it is difficult for us to give you a clear explanation as far as what you can expect to happen if your girlfriend were to run away to your house. It sounds like you have a general understanding surrounding harboring laws, which would be the ultimate risk in the situation. It is to our understanding that the head of household is likely to be the one to have the charges against them if they were to be pressed. In this particular situation, that would mean that whomever is the head of household in your residence may be the one to take the fall if charges were to be pressed for "harboring a runaway."

      For a more clear understanding, it may be helpful to contact your local non-emergency dispatch number for the police department or a general legal aid phone number. They would be able to help provide further clarity and guidelines involving the situation. If you need help finding these numbers or have any further questions / would like to talk more about the situation, you are welcome to reach out to us through our online chat portal, found on our website at or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Best wishes,
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