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Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

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  • #31
    I live in Virginia , I’m 17, me and my boyfriend live with my parents and I’m currently pregnant. I want to move somewhere else because it’s a little cramped here and my parents would be ok with it so would my boyfriend and I get in trouble if we try to move into an apartment or low income housing together.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are wanting to move out to have more room for your growing family; which is very understandable.

      So the easiest way you can move out at 17 is with your parent's permission, so it is perfectly legal to live elsewhere that is safe with their consent. It might be difficult for you to apply for public housing due to your age, if your boyfriend is 18 or over, he might have to be the only one on the lease or applying for services. You might think about if there are any informal places that you can stay until you are 18 and can also apply for housing or to rent apartments, like if there is a trusted adult or friend who can rent out a larger room to you all. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need help brainstorming your housing options: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are always here for you.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #32
    I am 17 and I am wanting to move out of state with my 18 year boyfriend. My mom said yes so will we have any trouble if I do?

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    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. As a minor, you are required to live wherever your legal guardian determines. If they give you permission to leave, then it would be our understanding that you would be okay to leave. It may be a good idea to get it in writing and you may need a guardian to enroll you in school or get you medical care. If you would like to talk in greater detail about your situation, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

  • #33
    I am from Texas and am a few months from turning 18. I live with just my dad, but we don’t get along. In many of our arguments he’s taken things to a physical level and left me with marks. While I’ve been trying to wait til I turn 18, my boyfriend and his family have been concerned for me and have been willing to have me live with them now. They live in the same city and would house me in a safe and financially-stable environment. Although I’m still going to high school and don’t have a job, or license. Would I be allowed to leave without being forced to go back?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have been going through a lot, and for a very long time. You do not deserve to have been treated this way. At all. We are very glad that your boyfriend’s family are supportive of you and are willing to let you live with them so that you can be safe.
      Things to keep in mind if you leave: you dad would have the right to file a runaway report if you left; only you would know whether he is likely to do that. If he does, we can’t predict what the police will do. Sometimes the closer a person is to 18, the less the police will respond, but not always. There is always the risk that they would take you back. If you documented the marks and told them that you are not safe at home, are afraid to go back, and are currently safe, and can prove your age, you may be able to convince the individual officer to let you stay.
      You can also contact either us, or Child Help to file an abuse report, or www.nationalsafeplace.org for immediate help through their TXT 4 Help program.
      Texas is also tough for harboring a runaway laws. Here is a link to the information we found: https://www.versustexas.com/criminal...y-child-texas/ At the end of the article it says that “informing a law enforcement agency of the child’s location within 24 hours as a defense against being charged with harboring a runaway. This is where the evidence of physical abuse will be helpful.
      We hope that you might reach out to us to talk about everything you are going through and help you figure out your options. You can reach us via phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway) or with our live chat service through www.1800runaway.org
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely, NRS

  • #34
    Hi I’m 17 and I love in Chicago and was to move out very badly with my boyfriend who is turning 18 pretty soon but my parents won’t let me move out and I always tell them that I’m moving out or running away and we get into huge fights. So what can I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS for help! It is totally understandable you would want to move out to live with your boyfriend since it sounds like you are more comfortable with him that your parents. Getting into huge fights with parents can make it really stressful at home.

      We are not legal experts by any means, but we can share what do know about runaway laws. If you leave home without permission, your parents can file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime, it is something you cannot do because of your age. So you would not be arrested, but police would likely return you home if they know where you are. In some cases police do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds because you are so close to being considered a legal adult. Your local police department will have more specific information about their runaway protocol and you can ask questions by calling their non-emergency number. This is also something we can help you do if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our online chat service.

      Having conversations with parents can be really difficult and it sounds like your parents are escalating it into a fight when you do try to communicate with them. We can do a conference call between you and your parents. We would be on the phone with you to advocate for you and make sure you feel like you are being heard.

      Do not hesitate to reach out by phone or chat 24/7 if you want to talk more about your situation and possible options.

      Good Luck,
      NRS

  • #35
    is it okay for my 15 year old boyfriend to stay with me, 14 , if both of out parents agree to it? he would still be going to school as we go to the same school. he would be taken care of the same way he would at home .

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, This is a really great question to ask. You sound like you are really and caring to make sure that your boyfriend is going to be taken care of if he lives with you. It would be possible for your boyfriend to live with you if both of your parents agree to it and give permission. This would be called an alternative living arrangement, but it definitely needs the consent of your parents and your boyfriend's parents.

      We hope that this gives you the information you were looking for. If you or your parents have any other questions, please do not hesitate to reach out 24/7 by phone (1-800-786-2929) or by chat.

      Good luck,
      NRS

  • #36
    So I'm 16 I'm gonna be 17 on November 8th 2019 so I'm not allowed to live with my real mom its court order and now that I'm living with my dad at first it was great then over the years its getting worse so I live in a 3 bedroom trailer with my dad and step mom and my 3 brothers well over the summer I had my 2 gay cousins move in they live in the shed with 5 dogs and we share the house with them now just a week ago my 20 year old brother girlfriend just moved in so now we have 9 people living with us I've been getting missed treated it's to crowded and over whelming and a lot of stress ever since those 3 moved in me and my brother been getting missed treated my brothers girlfriend thinks shes the boss and my step mom always yell at us so I'm always hiding in my room because I get missed treated so I was wondering if i could move in with my boyfriend he lives with his grandma and uncle if i talk to his grandma to make sure it's ok with it could I I just cant stand all this stress I barely get sleep there always loud or drinking and I cant ever do my homework because I always have to clean when I get home and If i dont i get screamed at

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like things with your dad have been getting more stressful over the years and you are hoping to live somewhere you feel more comfortable. It is really responsible of you to acknowledge that your dad's place has become an unhealthy living environment. Your safety and well-being is very important and you deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel cared for.

      The easiest way to leave home before you turn 18 is with your dad's permission. If he is okay with you living with your boyfriend's family and you would be safe and taken care of then that is definitely an option. If you left without his permission, your dad would have the right to file a runaway report. You would not get into any trouble, but there is the possibility that police would return you home. However, in some cases police do not consider you a runaway at 17 years old. The best way to know for sure is to call the police department's non-emergency number and ask about their runaway protocol which can be done anonymously.

      Another option for leaving is to make a child abuse report. If you feel like your dad is not providing you with a healthy and adequate living situation, it could be a case for neglect. You can report this and get a social worker involved to help you. You can contact the national child abuse hotline (800-422-4453 ; www.childhelphotline.org) for more information and help making the report.

      We are here 24/7 to listen and help you brainstorm your next steps. Do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat (800-786-2929 ; www.1800runaway.org) if you want to talk in more detail about your situation and explore your options.

      Good luck,
      NRS

  • #37
    Hi! I’m from Wisconsin and my daughter who is 16 1/2 years old right now and wants to move out and live with her boyfriend and his parents when she is 17 1/2 years old. Can she do so without our permission? I know this is a touchy subject but I keep running into the same thing with no positive answer about it. Any help or someplace I can turn to would be very helpful.

    Thanks,

    Steve

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello Steve,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. While we’re not legal experts we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is our understanding that so long as the youth is a minor, if she leaves home without permission then you are entitled to file a runaway report with the police as her guardian. This typically permits the police to notify you if they encounter her and make sure that she returns home. Additionally, if someone is sheltering her, you do have the option to attempt to press charges against them for harboring a runaway. This is typically considered a misdemeanor offense.

      However, the likelihood of police to enforce these protocols can be varying. Some states are more lenient than others. Some police officers are more lenient than others. Sometimes a youth’s proximity to the age of majority (18 in WI) is considered in the police’s decision to enforce a runaway report. We cannot predict exactly what the police are going to do but we hope this gives you an idea of how things function.

      It may be worth it to note the importance of the 6 months between when your daughter is 17.5 and when she is 18 (when she can straight up just move out with no confusion) and what difference that short period of time will mean to you, her, and your shared relationship. While we do not know the dynamics of your family or what exactly you guys are going through, it is worth it to note that her independence is coming in a rapid and inevitable fashion. As she becomes an adult, as inexperienced or naive as she might be, it could be important to show respect for her as someone who will soon be entirely in charge of her own decisions and lifestyle. Sometimes it is less than effective to attempt to cling to parental authority as it objectively expires and doing so can damage familial relationships in less than ideal ways.

      If you want to talk more about your situation and what options you may have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #38
    In the state of Mississippi, am I able to move out at 17 (7 and a half months from being 18 ) and move in with my boyfriend who is 19 (8 and half months from being 20) without my parents consent? My mom used to be physically abusive and is verbally abusive towards me and I am mentally unstable. Staying with my mom right now is not an option. I’m a senior in high school and graduate in December 2019. My boyfriend has a full time job working in Hattiesburg (he lives with me because of his own family issues at home and we live in Lucedale) and he found an apartment for rent that’s cheap and I will also be working full time with him as soon as I turn 18.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing a bit about what you are going through. It sounds like your mom's abusive behavior has been very stressful and overwhelming for you. You deserve to to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and supported. It makes sense why you are thinking about leaving to live with your boyfriend instead.

      You know when leaving is the right decision for you, but we want to make sure you can make a fully informed decision. If you leave home without your mom's permission, she can report you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it does mean that your mom could have the police return you home if she knows where you are staying. There is also a possibility that she could press charges against your boyfriend for harboring a runaway. Runaway laws can vary state by state and even by county, so the best way to know for sure what would happen if you left home would be to cal the non-emergency number for the local police department. You can anonymously ask questions about the runaway and harboring protocols in your area to have a better idea of the possibilities.

      We truly want to be a support for you while you navigate this difficult situation and help you decide what your next steps are going to be. We can best be of help by phone (800-786-2929) or online chat to talk more in detail about your situation and explore options with you.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #39
    Hi I'm 17 I live in Texas , I turn 18 in a month. I want to know if I tried to move in with my boyfriend a little early (he's 1 if I move in without permission can he and I get into any trouble?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #40
    I’m 17 in less than a week and both my parents are extremely mentally and emotionally abusive, I want to leave and not live in this house anymore. I’m in Australia NSW. What legal concerns, or general concerns do I need to take into consideration

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. You may want to check out https://www.kidshelp.com.au/ as they are based in Australia.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #41
    Hey im 17 years old I will be 18 in two months and the people i live with hit me cuss at me and make me pay bills I live in Virginia and wanted to know ofi could live with my 18 year old boyfriend

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry that your parents are mistreating you and it has gotten to a point where you feel like you need to leave.

      While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

      Given the fact that there are only two months until you turn 18, it would seem to be that the risk is very low that there would be any serious or legal consequences, but you still could potentially get returned home by the police.

      If you want to talk more about your situation and about what other options you may have, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #42
    I’m thinking about when i’m 17, will I be able to move in with my boyfriend who will be 18 at that time if he has his own place and if we both have jobs though i’ll be a senior in high school? I’m in louisiana and i’m currently 15 and tired of the way my mom treats me. She treats me like I’ve done something wrong my whole life even tho I’ve never done anything bad

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like your mom has been making home really stressful for you. It was really responsible to reach out for more information first.

      If you leave home without the permission of your mom, she can report you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal and it is not a crime. If you do leave though, mom can have the police return you home. Your boyfriend could be charged with a misdemeanor called harboring a runaway although it is rare. We hope this information helps you while you plan your next steps. We want you to know that we are here to be a support for you during this difficult time.

      Do not hesitate to reach out any time by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org if you would like to talk more about your situation. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #43
    I’m a 17 year old girl but I turn 18 in January and I wanna move in with my 17 year old boyfriend when I’m 18, if his parents allow it but my mom doesn’t. Could I still get in trouble?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
      We are not legal experts but we do have some general knowledge of the laws. If you were to leave at 17, because you are still a minor your legal guardian could file a runaway report if you left without permission. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home, also whoever you stayed with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Because you are so close to being 18 the police may not take the runaway report but it depends on the police department in your city. You could consider waiting until you turn 18 in January, because if you wait you would be legally able to leave your home with or without permission.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • #44
    Hi, I live in California same thing with my boyfriend, hes a year older then me. im 17 and hes 18. would it be possible for me to live with him if he has his own apt and job? the reason behind this, is because my mother give me anxiety to even confrontation she puts me down and blames me for small thing, even if i broke something and was willing to buy half or even more for it she still yells at cusses me out.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you sharing about what has been going on in your life—it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you have written us to find out the legality of running away.

      Firstly, it is important that you know that you do not deserve to be treated like this. You should feel safe and comfortable at home. The anxiety you feel right now is likely a symptom of being somewhere where you do not always feel this way. We are here to talk about this any time you want. You can call us at 1-800-RUN-AWAY or instant message us by going to 1800runaway.org. As far as living with your boyfriend, in California a young person that leaves home without parental consent, even to live with an 18-year-old, would be considered a run away. Running away is not illegal, but police can become involved in trying to bring you back home if your parent or legal guardian files a runaway report, and anyone housing you may be liable to be charged with harboring a runaway. These are things to consider as you decide what to do next.

      We hope that this information is useful for you. If it is not, or if you need more, you are always welcome to reach out to us. We are always here to listen and help. Thank you for coming to us with your story. You have been so brave already. Stay strong and safe.

      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • #45
    My 18yr old daughter wants to move in with her 17yr old boyfriend. His mom is ok with it and wants her to stay with them. Can my daughter get in trouble if she decides to move in with them? Thank you!

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you want to know more about your daughter being able to leave home and live with her boyfriend. We are not legal experts here at NRS, however; your daughter is considered an adult in most states which means she has the legal freedom to choose where she lives. If her boyfriend's parents give her permission to live with them then she would not get into any trouble. You can call your local police department's non-emergency number to ask questions about any legal concerns that you do have as they can better answer questions specific to the state you live in.

      We hope this information helps!

      Take care,
      NRS
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