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Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

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  • Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

    Hey, i live in New York State and I just turned 18 and I have an apartment, I'm also a paramedic so I'm financially well. My girlfriend is having a lot of problems at home with her mom. She's 17 by the way. And her mom treats her very poorly and treats me that way as well. She's done this to my girlfriends whole life. My girlfriend wants to just leave and come live with me. I live like 35 minutes away. If she just leaves home one day without saying anything and lives with me and commutes to school is that a problem? Are there any legal issues? Could we get in trouble? Thank you for the help!!

  • #2
    Re: Can a 17 year old move out to live with her 18 year old boyfriend?

    Hey,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeine and sharing with us some of what has been going on. It sounds like your girlfriend has been going through some tough times, she seems lucky to have you supporting her and wanting what’s best for her. Here at NRS we are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

    At NRS we are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. Generally, once your girlfriend turns 18 she is an adult. If she decided to leave home before then, then her parents would have the option of filing a runaway report. Running away is not a criminal offense for her, it just means that if she is found then the police will bring her back home. It can become a criminal charge for someone that is helping her leave or is allowing her to stay with them, such as yourself. However, she is 17 and that can be a tricky age in some states. It really depends on the police department on what they decide to do. Some departments may allow the report to be taken, but they may not actively search for her. Other departments may force her to return home until the day she turns 18. Some factors that may go into that, is she doing what a 17 year old should be doing, such as able to support herself, going to school, living in a safe place etc. Those may be some of the things they look at. One option you have is to contact the police department in her city and yours and see how they would handle a situation like this. If you don't feel comfortable calling, you can always give us a call on our hotline or chat with us via our website and we can make that call anonymously for you.

    We hope this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can give us a call on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm turning 17 in 3 months and I wanted to know if I can live with my boyfriend and he is 18 n I'm getting tired of my mom hitting me and cussing at me
      Last edited by ccsmod10; 04-03-2018, 09:35 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us. Sometimes that's really hard to share things about yourself, but we're here to help, so really glad you came to us. Sounds like you're in a pretty difficult place, and can't imagine how hard that is for you.

        You mentioned your mom hits you, and we're really sorry to hear that. It's just never ok to hit a child, and you don't deserve that, no matter what you've done or said. Our first priority is always that you are safe. You do options of talking to someone about this, whether it's friends or other family. You do have some options for reporting this also if you're comfortable. You could either do this yourself by calling Child Help at 1-800-422-4453, or we could help you too with reporting if you call into our crisis line at 1-800-786-2929.

        Without knowing what state you're in, we can't offer specific advice on leaving permanently, since the age of majority varies. Keep in mind we aren't legal experts also. Since generally it is 18, in terms of leaving home and running away, while it's not illegal to runaway, it is a status offense. Your parents could report you as a runaway and have you returned home. Now given you are 17, sometimes the police have been known to not follow up given your age, but that's up to your local police. If you did stay with your boyfriend and an adult called the local police you could potentially stay there for a short time, especially given the abuse, but we certainly couldn't guarantee that.

        There are other things you can do too to try to take your mind off things. Sometimes things as simple as listening to music or watching movies, or taking part in sports can really help make you feel better. Just another option to help.

        Hopefully we've given you some good information that will help, and remember we are here 24/7 if you want to call our crisis line at 1-800-786-2929. Best of Luck!

    • #4
      In PA. Can a 17-year-old move in with her 18-year-old boyfriends family if she is or is not emancipated? What are the best ways to get emancipated as well? She and I both have part-time jobs and our own vehicles.

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us during what appears to be a difficult time. We thank you for coming forward to us with your questions and hope we can help.

        In Pennsylvania, one can reach out to Legal Services Inc., for information about how to initiate the emancipation process. Their number is 717-243-9400, and they are available 8:30 am – 4:30 pm M-F. According to our records, a minor may be considered for emancipation if they are able to support themselves and live independent from their parents. Besides that, we don’t have much information about what exact steps must be taken in order to become emancipated. The process is mediated through the courts, and so you may have to go to a courthouse in order to start the process. Additionally, emancipation requires considerable financial resources and time, which are things you may wish to consider before initiating the process.

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

    • #5
      In Wisconsin is it legal me 17 to move out with my 18 year old boyfriend if my parents are fine with it?

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out. Generally speaking you are able to stay wherever your parents give you permission to stay, so you shouldn’t have any issues.
        Thanks!
        NRS

    • #6
      I just turned 18 I’m from Texas & I’m getting ready to go see my girlfriend in Chicago can I get in any kind of trouble?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. In the states of Texas and Illinois, a person is considered an adult at the age of 18. As an adult you have the right to leave home without parental consent. If you haven't told your parents, they may file a missing person's report on you. You wouldn't get into any trouble but you could call the police and let them know that you aren't missing and that you are safe. We hope that this information helps, if you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

    • #7
      im 17 , can I move out in the state of Texas and live with my 18 year old boyfriend ?



      , he has a place and I’ll still be going to school but I’m tired of living with my mom because we get into a lot of fights . I don’t want their to be any trouble because I’ll almost be an adult in another year , but considering the laws and how they’re all different is there any way that I can leave without me getting Into any trouble with the police

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. Reaching out during a tough situation can be tough and it shows a lot that you took this first step, that is something worth being proud of.
        Legal age of adulthood in Texas is 18, which means until you are that age you are legally required to live with your guardian or in a place that your guardian has given you permission to be. If going to your boyfriends with your mother’s permission is an option, it might be worth looking into if you are comfortable. If it is not something your mom would be okay with, some things to consider before leaving could be what would your mom say/do when you left and would you boyfriend get in trouble for you being there. There are laws called harboring a runaway which can cause legal action go against the person the runaway is staying with. What this looks like varies but you could contact your local police department’s non-emergency line to get more information about it if you felt comfortable doing so. `If you were to leave, your mother could file you as a runaway which would give the police permission to return you back to your legal guardian.

        It sounds like you have a lot going on and your boyfriend is a support system for you, that is great to have during a tough time. There can be numerous things to consider before leaving home but we are here to talk them out with you if you would like. We hope some of this information has helped and are here to talk whenever you need.

        Best of luck,
        NRS

    • #8
      My daughter is 17, we live in PA. WE have been here almost a year, we moved from NC. My daughter wants to move to NC AND LIVE WITH HER 18 year old girlfriend and her grandparents. Can we allow this without getting in trouble. Our daughter is adopted and she hates us.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a stressful situation right now. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us at this time.

        It sounds like you are having some relationship issues with your daughter and your daughter would like to move back to stay with her girlfriend and her grandparents. Moving away from home can be challenging and it can be helpful to know if that household would be a safe and stable place for her to stay. It can also be helpful for your daughter to think about how she might pay for food and other living expenses. While we are not legal experts just speaking generally you are responsible for your child and with your permission she can stay anywhere in a safe place. However at 17, in many states the police considers the youth to be an adult and you may not get in trouble for your daughter moving to another town. You could call the non-emergency number at local police departments as to what might happen.
        If it also might be an option for you, family counseling can be helpful in many situations. You can contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for any counseling resources. You and/or your daughter could additionally call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or live chat with us, we would be happy to listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

        You are acting strong in this hard situation by reaching out for help. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
        Best
        NRS

    • #9
      I'm 17 turning 18 in 2 momth. Can I move out with out my dad's permission in wisconsin

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, they may return you home to your parents since you are a minor, but you are in a grey area since you are so close to 18. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who is safe, and have reason to be there then they may not make you go back. One thing we encourage youth at 17 is to reach out to your local non-emergency line number and ask to speak to someone who knows runaway laws and ask how they might respond. It is good to be aware that there is something called harboring, which is a person who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring.

        We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

        -NRS

    • #10
      Can my boyfriend move in with me and my mom and dad? He’s 18 and I’m 17 . I live in Texas.

      Comment


      • #11
        Reply: Can my boyfriend move in with me and my mom and dad?

        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).


        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #12
          I am turning 17 in a couple of days. Is it possible that I could move in with my boyfriend and his parents without parents consent?
          I live in jackson michigan.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there,

            Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with.

            Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. If you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. They could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

            Regarding your plan of going to living with your boyfriend and his parents, we would encourage you to speak with your guardians if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding. It sounds like you have a trusting relationship with your boyfriend and his parents. If you felt like your home situation would get to a point where staying there would not be an option, you could call out to your local police station to see what their procedures are regarding enforcing runaway reports.

            If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
            We hope this information was helpful and take care.
            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        • #13
          I’m in the state of pa and I was wondering if I could move out of my mothers home and into my boyfriends mom house at the age of 17 with my three month old duaghter. My boyfriend has a job and is helping at with bills but I’d stay at home with my daughter. If I was to move out could I do it without my mothers consent? Or could she have the cops come pick me up and take me back to her house?

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation. It looks like you have reached out to us through another platform already. If you have any other questions please call in to 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org and we can discuss more in detail how we can best support you more through this situation. Stay strong! You are not alone in this and we are here 24/7.

        • #14
          Hi I’m 17 and I’m pregnant from my 18 yr. old boyfriend can I move in with him If I feel unsafe living with my parents and not getting emancipated. My boyfriend is working and lives with his parents and I just wanted to know if I left my house would the police force me to go home and could be get in any trouble?
          Last edited by ccsmod4; 12-13-2018, 02:15 AM.

          Comment


          • #15
            Reply: Hi I’m 17 and I’m pregnant

            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

            We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
            So you’re pregnant living at home but you don’t feel safe there. You would like to leave and stay with your boyfriend and his family but not sure about any consequences you might face.
            While we are not experts on the law, someone under 18 that leaves home, their parent/guardian may file them as a runaway with the police and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. There are different laws for each state so for more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. you may be able to get some answers to any legal questions on the subject etc.
            NRS offers conference calling services where we can reach out to the local police and inquire about the laws in your state as it pertains to someone 17, pregnant and being able to legally leave home.


            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

            Be safe,
            NRS

            We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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