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I am 15, turning 16 in a few months. My parents are divorced and they went to court for me four years ago for custody. I live with my mom and I see my dad once a week on Saturday with the required supervison of my aunt. I want to know that if I leave my mom's when I turn sixteen if there would be anyway that she had to keep me until I'm eighteen. I want to live with my grandparents and dad but my stepdad told me that I legally had to stay with my mom until I turn eighteen. Could that be true? If so, is there any way that I can get around that to live with my dad and grandparents?
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Hi!
Thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of what is going on at home. You mentioned wanting to leave home, and live with your dad and grandma. While we are not legal experts we can speak generally on this. Leaving home without permission from your parents as a minor is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Again, you would not be arrested or charged with a crime because of this. It does mean your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying.
Another option for alternative housing would be to get your parent’s consent to live somewhere else– maybe you should speak first to your dad and grandparents. We want to clarify that while parents can give consent to you leaving, they can also change their minds. We understand talking to parents about leaving home can be difficult. Maybe this conversation can be had with the family members that you would like to stay with.
A legal resource that might help to answer your questions is https://www.lawhelp.org/
If you would like to discuss these options further, feel free to reach out to us via our hotline number (1-800-786-2929), or through our chat line:
Best of luck,
The National Runaway Safeline
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I am 16 wanting to move out I live in Kansas right now but I want to move to Nebraska I’m not sure with my mom will let is there anyway I can move without her permission I won’t be on this chat if anyone can help please text or call me ***********Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-16-2021, 12:26 AM.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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I am 16 I have been for a few months now and I have already been kicked out of my mom's house 12/13 times and right now is my 14th time she kicked me out because I wouldn't do "simple" things my chores not making jokes, not being a burden, not being depressed and putting a happy face on around everyone, etc. and basically "worship her" every time she kicks me out she sends me with my dad about 45 minutes away and i love him as a parent and everything and he's not doing anything wrong its just my mom still has complete control on me and everything i do over here too I can't go to school but im trying to, I cant have friends but i have friends, I cant have my drivers license but my dad wants to help me get one secretly we cant though without certain things like legal documents that my mom has, I can't have a phone, or listen to music because i will become evil apparantly which is just bullshii, ect. she's manipulative and good at playing with her emotions so that's how she controls everyone around me and how she use to control me and I wonder how i get away from all of that the manipulation the control she threatens me all the time that if i do any of the things she has banned she will call the cops on me and i will be sent to dt I don't know if she can do that or not she has already called them on me 3 times and I am really sick of it so my point is I don't know anything about running away if it's actually legal if I can get my drivers license with one parent, and how I could get my legal documents for school here I just want to feel normal and feel good.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
You have a legal right to attend school and if your mom is preventing that she could be in legal trouble for not doing so. It might be worth exploring truancy laws in your state or contacting a legal aid/lawyer about the situation. We are happy to try looking on your behalf.
Each state has its own set of rules and fees for ordering certified birth certificates and other records. Rules, ordering instructions and fees for all 50 states, the District of Columbia and all other U.S states can be found here (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/w2w.htm). Perhaps you can get in touch with your local county clerk’s office and they might be able to tell you a more solid answer on what documents are necessary to obtain your birth certificate. Other things that you can try is to contact the vital recorder office in your city and state to try to order a duplicate birth certificate or have another adult (usually family) help request one for you.
National Network for Youth (NN4Y) state-by-state guide to ID, social security card, and birth certificate requirements: https://www.nn4youth.org/wp-content/...FINAL-2019.pdf
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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i have the same reason with my mom , recently i ran away but they found where i was at so tonight im leaving again , im 16 years old and i dont want to be with my mom anymoreComment
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.
It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you (like potential runaway/youth shelters), please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Stay safe,
NRS
We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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I'm 15 and get emotionally abused by my mom and stepdad. They tell me they'll support me no matter what but freak out at the littlest things. They favor my brother over me, (Example: My mom wanted to go through my brothers phone and found porn, she freaked out but gave him his phone back at the end of the night. My mom didn't even ask for my phone till after I offered because I was talking to my friends late at night due to my insomnia, she looked through my phone and found texts from when I was freaking out because I thought my friend tried to kill themself and promptly asked me which friend it was. I told her I didn't remember then gave her a fake name to keep my friends privacy because my mom would've texted them paragraphs about how teen depression isn't real. I tried to be as honest as I could while keeping my boyfriend a secret because he's older than me, but by the end of the night my phone ended up crushed by my stepdad.) and never really care about me or my health. I was deprived of food for 3 days with my brother (Even though he ate during those 3 days and faked being sick) and I ended up puking, they gave us a piece of stale bread and a cup of soup. They constantly justify their actions by saying "My parents would do worse". My mom says I would never call CPS because they know how long it takes to get there and how long it takes to bury a body, I think it's jokes but I don't really think it is anymore.
I want to get emancipated but I feel like if I proposed it to my parents I would be unsafe in the household. I don't want to runaway because they would file a runaway report and probably kill me when I got brought back. I currently have a green card at the moment and that is my only complication. I want to live with my boyfriend after my emancipation instead of being sent back to Canada. How could I go about this and keep my green card? I'm in the first few stages of the process, I have the card but it expires next year.Comment
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Although you may not be a citizen, you still have rights like any other that protect you, reporting abuse does not mean you would be sent back to Canada. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. Child Help is a great start if you would like more information but might not necessarily be open to making a report yet, they will help you understand what reporting abuse would bring generally.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If your curious more so about legal issues, such as running away or being emancipated as a resident in the U.S., we can help you find some legal aid options to help guide you.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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i was really young when they beat me up and was hit by a board and can i live with by brother when i am 16 How do i show proof of that? I don't have any marksComment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Hey I was just wondering if it’s Illegal to away at the age of 17 in Rhode Island and if my friends are 18+ would they get Arrested and charged??Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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I am tsewang n I am 17 years old..I want to runaway from home with my girlfriend...my family hate my girlfriend n all night I am listening lectures from my family...my girlfriend want to runaway from home...could u plz help us...we both parents are not listening..need some helpComment
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Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that the situation for you and your girlfriend has become so difficult. Thank you for sharing a little bit about what has been going on. It sounds like you and your girlfriend are considering leaving and you would like some more information. We understand that it takes courage to reach out, and we will do our best to share information that might help you figure out your next steps.
Although we are not legal experts, from what we understand, 18 is the age an individual may leave home without consent. If you are under the age of 18 and you leave home without consent, your parent or legal guardian can report you as a runaway to your local police department. How the local police department handles runaway reports can vary, but typically, if a runaway youth is found they are returned to their legal guardian or their legal guardian picks them up. If you would like more information on how your local police department might handle runaway reports, you can reach out to your local legal aid or your local police department at their non-emergency number.
If you and your girlfriend decide that leaving is your best option, it may help to consider the following:
1. Where will you stay?
2. How long will you be gone for?
3. How will you and your girlfriend make sure you have food/clothing/medical care?
4. What is your plan to stay safe while you are away?
5. How will you support yourself while you are gone?
Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you decide what is best for you to do. If you would like help identifying resources, or if you just want someone to talk to, you can reach us 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) and via chat as www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
-NRS
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Hello, I turned 16 in January and I was planning on leaving home. I've been told to leave and that I'll get kicked out once I'm 18, but that if I think that I'm "grown enough" I can leave. That's certainly not the case, and I know there's much I still have to learn. First off, I want to make sure there are no problems that'll come to my family after I've left. I still have 3 siblings living here, as well as two other people. I don't want anything to happen that'll disrupt their lives. I'm a genuine problem in the house, but my parents aren't equipped with the knowledge or patience to help me out in the areas I need help with. I have no need to put anymore blame on them, but I can't live in this house any longer than I have to. I have people I can go to, but it's across state. I live in TN and they live in another state where the age of majority is 18. I want to leave and be sure I won't get found. Another issue I have, is being able to have and find my SSN. What happens if I leave my house without my SSN and birth certificate? I'm almost positive that I don't need my birth certificate, but I know I need my SSN. The people that I'm going with, are going to have more than enough to take care of me, but I do need to pay them back and work. I've been told that it isn't necessary, but regardless, I suppose I have an issue with showing people my gratitude, and it's something I want to do. My main issue is being able to get a job after I'm gone, I don't have my ID and I don't know my SSN yet, but I will surely need both later on in life, so what happens then?Comment
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Hey,
Thank you for contacting NRS. What you’re going through sounds really difficult. You deserved to be loved and supported where you live. We at NRS are not legal experts, but since you are still a minor leaving the home and being caught by the police can result in you being returned home. If you chose to live with a trusted adult, they can be charged with harboring, as well. In regards to legal documents, filing for emancipation can be a way to regain your own control over those documents. However, this process is lengthy and can be expensive but we can provide resources to help you look into that option if you feel that would be helpful to you.
Additionally, there are temporary shelters and resources that can be explored if you call our chat us at the NRS website; we are available 24/7 and are here to help. If you feel comfortable calling or chatting us we can provide more specific advice to help you explore possible options when leaving the home. We are here to help you. Thank you again for reaching out. We wish you nothing but the best.
Sincerely,
NRS
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hi i live in florida with both of my parents. i have been grounded for almost two months now for seeing my boyfriend after hours multiple times without my parents consent and they have been trying to forbid me to not see him. i do not feel comfortable in my house and there is a lot of emotional abuse. i don’t feel safe here and have told my parents that multiple times. i have asked to live with multiple family members but they want to keep me right by there hip so i can’t see my boyfriend. i don’t know what to do. i’ve also been having suicidal thoughts more recently and told them about that as well, however i am still in the same situation. if i called someone to come and get me to bring me to a family members house could they get in trouble for letting me stay there when there is emotional abuse involved?Comment
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Hi there, thanks for reaching out to our forum. It sounds like you miss your boyfriend doubly so because of how your parents have been treating you. It's hard when people aren't willing to come to a compromise about big decisions that impact you.
Additionally it sounds like you're feeling at your limit and having safety concerns about suicide and your parents haven't addressed that in a supportive manner. Your safety matters and you deserve to feel cared for when managing such heavy thoughts.
To your question, they would get in trouble for harboring a youth because you would need CPS to get involved to address the emotional abuse before being able to move to another household. Unfortunately, CPS doesn't necessarily move people for emotional abuse and your family may get counseling at most. Childhelp.org are the National Childhood Abuse hotline that you reach out to and discuss your options.
You can always reach out to us through phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY or talk to us through our online website to talk further about your options. We are here for 24/7 crisis support. Take care, and may you find the support you need!
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Hi I am currently 16 years of age, i just had an incident with my father basically he said he will kick me out the house if i don't fix myself soon and to be honest i really think i will never be up to his standards so i might get kicked out anyway, i rather just save some time and leave now then later. Im not sure how my mom feels about me but i have a feeling she has the same opinions as my dad so i see no hope. I have an older sister, a girlfriend, and a best friend should i go live with one of them? Or should I just get myself a job and try and find my own place somewhere (I live in California), I'm scared to leave but at the same time scared of my parents if they find me I don't know what they will do to me so can I just have anyones opinions?Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes a lot courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things at home are not so great right now and that it feels like a stressful situation.
Since you are under the age of 18, your parents can file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense (something you cannot do because of your age). If your parents were to file a runaway report, then you could be found by the police and returned home. Also, there are laws about harboring runaways, so while this is rarer, you should know that it is possible for your best friend or girlfriend to get in trouble if your parents file a runaway report and you are staying with them.
You are allowed, however, to live elsewhere with your parent’s permission, if you feel like that may be an option. It also is helpful to have strong support systems and people you can talk to. Sometimes just having someone that will listen can be super beneficial.
Your mental health is also super important. We want to make sure you are taking care of yourself. You can listen to music, journal about what is going on, exercise, take a walk, draw, or just do an activity that makes you feel good.
Thank you again for contacting NRS. We’re glad you have a good friend in your life and want you to know that we are here to support you 24/7. If you would like to talk in more detail, please contact NRS either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting online through 1800runaway.org.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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I’m 16 in the state of Idaho and my mom wants to move with her boyfriend in Washington and I don’t wanna go and she is leaving the apartment for my brother can I stay with him without her being okay with it or will I get in troubleComment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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Hi name is ************* I am 16 and live in *********. I want to move in with my girlfriends family but my aunt won't let me. Can I move in with them without my aunts consent my girlfriends parents are okay with me moving in with them I am emotionally abused. I do not want to live here anymore I need help what do I need to do. If there is someone who can help me my number is **********i more than likely will not be able to answer because i will be with her. It would mean alot to me if someone could help me find a way to move outComment
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us, we understand it can be difficult to take that first step. We hope to help as best we can. In most states, 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your aunt may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your aunt. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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CAn I leave my blood parents got to my step parentsComment
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Hi there,
It seems as if you are wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your legal guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your guardian. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
Be safe,
NRS
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i am 17 and i want to leave and be independent. i am not allwoed to drive yet and cant get a job till i can drive myself. i would like to know my legal options here. and i want to do this immediatly if possible. i dont get chances to be a 17 year old like getting to go with friends possibly home schooled which i do not want. i do more than i have to and need to do and i just want to do for myself now.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems like your home life has gotten a bit overwhelming and you're considering leaving home.
To be frank, if you are under 18 leaving home without parental permission can be tricky. While running away is not illegal, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway which means that if you are caught you will have to return home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway.
If you'd like to discuss your options further via chat line or telephone, please reach out.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
Be safe,
NRS
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