Can I leave my home at 16 without my parents' consent?

hello i’m sixteen years old and i live in virginia. i live with my mom and my step dad, i want to leave and be on my own. my mom has put her hands on me and my sister in the past and i don’t feel safe living here. i’m unhappy and i can’t stay with my dad because he has problems with the law and is still trying to get through a case right now. i have been trying to plan to run away but i don’t want to be forced back home with her, i just would rather be on my own or go live with my boyfriend or a friend.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You deserve to be happy and to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged and validated. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your family so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

It's great to hear that your dad is a support in your life. It may be beneficial to speak with your dad directly about your desire to live with him once you turn 16. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Hi, I'm Zayriah. I live in Memphis TN. I am 15 but I will be 16 in June. Its very hard living with my mom and her husband. My mom doesn't listen to me or care about what I need and my stepdad always has something negative to say and he always makes me sad and angry and he controls everything but his own kids. When I turn 16 my dad wants me to move to TX and I want to go. I do have history of being a runaway, But this time I want to tell her how I feel (even though it isn't gonna work) so I want have to go through all of the social worker and police officers and nosey family members. I just want to be happy and that is what I want to be happy. I really just want a way out. Tell me what should I do?

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can.

Now we aren't legal experts here and you might have already read on this forum thread about what could happen if you were to leave home before the age of majority. So we won’t get into that since you can find it fairly easily.

Your parent(s) may give you permission to live with another family or relative, but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again. So that can be an option for you if you feel like your parent(s) might respond well to you living someplace else or won’t go back on their word when they told you that you could leave home. Maybe coming up with a solid plan about what you’re planning on doing, how everything is going to work, and any miscellaneous things could be helpful in them seeing how much work you have put into this plan and presenting the ideas to both sides (ie. your mother and whomever you are trying to live with).

Hope this was helpful and best of luck to you.

Hi I am 16 and looking for some help. I would like to move back to Colorado where I feel safe and happy. I love my mom but we moved to Mississippi a few months ago. I hate it. Can I move back to Colorado without my mom if I'm living with someone she knows and trusts? I just really need to go home because I hate Mississippi. I don't feel safe there. Can you help me?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,

NRS

Can you stay at another person's house overnight, without parents consent at 16?

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you did. It sounds like there's quite a lot going on at home that has you feeling like you can no longer be there, but you're right in questioning if you'd be required to return home if you leave at 16 living in the US. The short answer is that IS possible you'd be returned home if you left without parental consent. One way to avoid any legal repercussions or being returned home is for you and your mom to agree on where you're going. It sounds like you have family that might be able and willing to take care of you, so that would be a good starting point. Another way to avoid any legal repercussions or being returned home is through emancipation, which you indicated you were not interested in. Unfortunately getting custody removed from a parent is a very complex process, and one that is not easily granted. Typically a parent would have to be considered unfit and/or unable to adequately provide for their children. And even then, Child Protective Services would first consider which measures could be put in place to ensure the children are getting what they need within the home before removing them from the home.

All that said, there's really no one answer that we can give you at the moment. It might be beneficial for you to reach out to us directly by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat (www.1800runaway.org), and we can discuss your specific situation in more detail. We may also be able to connect you with some legal resources in your area that can answer some of your questions a little better. We're available 24/7 through both phone and chat, and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care,

NRS

I'm 15 years old and turn 16 soon. For the last 4 years and maybe more I've wanted to leave. At first I thought it was just a stunt and it would go away... but things here progressively keep getting worse. For starters my mother does not have a job. I know that's not a crime, but many needs go untaken care of. The money we do get my guardian gambles, she does have a skin condition that prevents her from doing certain things but she has made no effort to do other things. She wont allow me to get a job for some type of income either. She's always putting things off that absolutely need to be done. She's constantly yelling and talking bad about people I love. She's told my to leave on multiple occasions. She tells me I'm going to "fail in life". She's tried to manipulate me by isolating me and telling me she's the only one that cares about me. She's threatened to beat me on many occasions and claimed she would have one of her friends come "teach me a lesson on respect" Many of the things she has told me in the past have deep rooted. She's told me "if I ever kill myself its because of you". As previously stated she's constantly yelling and talking bad about people I love, all day every day. When people wont give her money she calls them drug addicts and when she's mad at me she tells me ill be just like them and ill die before I'm 21, I've never done anything to upset her I don't smoke, vape, cuss, sneak out etc. their are so many other things that have happened and i cant do this anymore. . I really want to leave and know where I want to go (family). I read that you could legally leave home at 16 without being forced back but I believe that was based in the UK, I live in the US. I do not want to become emancipated i just want to get my custody removed from her, as a minor I don't know what say I have in that or what i should do first. Any help?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to be getting the support that you need to heal from your trauma.

It sounds like you are interested in emancipation.  We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works.  Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation.  In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents.  It also helps to be in good standing at school.  The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18.  The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat.  We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

Be safe,
NRS
1-800-786-2929; 1800runaway.org

Hi I’m 16 and I hate living with my parents my mom yells at me for everything and I’m such a good kid and I’ve gone through so much my mom emotionally abuses me and my dad too and I hate living here she messes with my mental health so much it makes me want to kill myself and then she acts like nothing ever happened and I think she’s bipolar idk but everytime I tell her I have anxiety or I’m having flashbacks due to my trauma she just says push through that’s life when she wants me to go to a store with her and if I tell her no she screams at me at me and says to push through when I have horrific trauma and she says that I’m ungrateful when I’m so greatful and she cusses at me she threatens to kick me out when I say no to her or if I say I’m going to my dads even though I don’t want too it sucks im In a really bad position any advice and I want to get that empaction thing

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are living in as it certainly makes for a very unhappy environment for you. Let me see if I can be of assistance to you. First, please keep in mind that NRS is not an organization than can offer legal information or legal advise to anyone who reaches out to us. That said, we do have a large database of resources that we can look through to help guide you and we can assist in offering knowledge to make your moves more educated and above all safe. If you are able to contact us by calling in (1-800-Runaway) or via chat (www.1800runaway.org) we will can take a look at providing Resources based upon where you are located in Florida.

Being 15, it is unlikely to have a friend (who is a minor but emancipated) take over guardianship for you. Even if you are able to get a driver’s license and a job to save money, the person taking guardianship must be an adult and offer proof of finances, proof of safe place to live, be emotionally mature and will be likely be quite costly. Guardians would also be responsible for your schooling, and any medical situations which may come up. To get guardianship, your parents would likely have to sign off on everything in court. Additionally, being in Florida the legal age to leave home without parents permission is 18 so there is a good chance you would get returned to your home and that is something that worries you. Your parents would have a difficult time giving up your wellbeing without possibly being charged with neglect.

Hopefully this has helped you a bit. Living in a situation where one is afraid to come out and at the same time being forced to follow specific religious beliefs is VERY difficult but we are here to help you through this. As there was a mention of suicide in your email, should you really get to that point, we encourage you to seek immediate help by reaching out to a counselor at the Nat’l Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. I hope that you will reach out to us at the number/website we have available for the National Runaway Safeline so we can get you connected with the right people to help you.

Take good care!!

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a very hard situation at home, and are seeking to leave. We are glad you have contacted us for help.
It is important you know first of all that physical, emotional, and sexual abuse are never okay. You should not have to endure these abuses, nor be threatened with them, in your own home. You deserve to live somewhere where you are safe and comfortable, and we are so sorry this has not been the case for you for so long.
It sounds like there are some real concerns around custody issues in the family. We are not legal experts here, so we cannot speak to what may happen if you leave with Mom and your sibling without ensuring the proper custody arrangement. You may find it useful to talk to a lawyer. We can provide you with numbers for legal services that serve families and children in your state. Sometimes these lawyers will be able to talk for free over the phone and provide insight or advice. That said, you should not have to wait until custody is arranged to be safe from your Dad. You can, at any time, report these abuses to CPS. If you need information about this, or want to further understand it, or even if you are ready to report, you can start by calling Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. They are there to help you through this tough time. Child abuse reporting can have quick turn-around. Often a caseworker will be at your home to investigate within 48 hours. This is a strong solution then to the immediate danger you face at home.
We hope you have found some of this information useful. If you need more, or want to continue talking about what is going on at home, we are always here. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY, and we are available to listen, to help. You might also consider reaching out to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at 1-800-656-4673 to seek help and support in the wake of your sexual abuse at home.
You are strong and brave to have reached out. We wish for the best for you. Stay safe.
Sincerely,
NRS

Hello, I currently live in an abusive and forceful home. My parents are homophobic/transphobic to the point where if I come out, I fear for my safety. They also emotionally/verbally abuse me constantly and refuse to get me help or speak with a doctor for my severe depression. I can't stand living here and being forced to be in a suffocating religious and phobic household and a part of me still wants to live despite being suicidal. I'm only 15 but I have been making plans to leave my home by next year with a friend of mine. I reside in Florida currently but will be moving up north. Is there any way that a friend (minor), who is already emancipated, can sign off on my documents/ be a guardian for me? I will be leaving but I don't want to be brought back because I'm terrified of what could happen if they see me again. I don't have a phone because they took it since they found out I have friends and are constantly watching me during my school hours online- so I cannot contact anyone who I think could help me out. I have tried speaking with them about it and in turn it just got worse. I would hate to go to court only because I feel as though my case wouldn't be strong enough to emancipate me. I plan to obtain a drivers license and a job sometime by the end of this year to help my journey- is there any way i can successfully live off somewhere else without that risk of being brought home? Or being signed off by a separate emancipated individual?

Im 15 turning 16 in a month and I want to leave my toxic household I have a Safe place to stay with my family member. My dad has mentally, physically, and sexually abused and me, my 17 year old brother, and mom are scared to leave because where scared of him because my brother is not my mom son he’s my dad son and my mom doesn’t have my custody because she gave it to him in order for me to come to this country but they’re still legally married and I don’t know what to do I just know I want to leave my phone in the most smart way possible where my dad won’t be able to bring me back.