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Can I leave my home at 16 without my parents' consent?

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 in Portsmouth NH I need a break from my house. I where to leave to go over a friends house would I get in trouble with the Police?

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  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi Breanna,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are sorry to hear that things are tough at home right now. It sounds like you are in a really unhappy living situation.

    I understand that you want to leave home when you turn 18 in June. We aren’t legal experts, and each state has different laws pertaining to youth. In effect, we can’t give you legal guidance on whether or not you can change schools and residences without parental consent.
    There are various family counseling resources that you might consider in order to help you with this difficult conversation. Your school counselor might be able to offer counseling suggestions or referrals in order to help navigate this family conflict.

    The thing you want to keep in mind is that once you do choose to run and/or leave, how that is going to impact your relationship with your family. Being okay with what happens is completely up to you. Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t. Factoring in these kinds of thoughts into your overall plan, again can possibly help you in your choice (i.e, where are you going to be living [long term vs. short term], what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, what happens if you realize down the road that you can't live together and they kick you out, etc). It's certainly a jump step to make and we want you to be as safe as possible when making your decision.

    Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help, and you are trying to figure out your options, which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us.

    We’re here to listen, here to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi im 17 will be turning 18 in june20th of 2020 and i was wondering if i turn 18 i can transfer to a different school without my parents permission and to move out the night i turn 18 and go move in with my aunt? i hate living with my dad and his girlfriend and she just had another baby last week and ever since she has moved in with us all i do is clean up after her and my dad and they think im thier freaking slave to them. yesterday when i got home from school i had a chore list to do and then my aunt called me and asked what was wrong and then busting down in tears bc i am tired of livuing there with them i wish that i can move out now since im 17 but i cant. i need help or advice on what to do
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 01-10-2020, 01:04 PM. Reason: identifying info

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

    It sounds like your mom's constant abuse and invasion of your privacy have made home incredibly overwhelming. Only you know when leaving is the best decision for you. If you do decide to leave it is important to plan for things such as where you will stay, how you will financially support yourself, and how you will take care of your mental health. Reaching out to people close to you to strengthen your support system can give you a safe outlet for how you are feeling and help you brainstorm a variety of options. A good place to start can be a counselor or social worker at school who are trained to give you non-judgmental support and can be an advocate for you as you navigate this challenging situation. Additionally, you can confide in other friends or family members who might be able to offer you a safe place to stay.

    If you are not quite ready to reach out to someone in person, there is an organization called Child Help that supports and advocates for young people in abusive situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to www.childhelphotline.org to speak with a counselor about ways to prioritize your mental health and involve trusted adults to intervene in your situation.

    We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. We can talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your possible options if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I need advice, i am currently 17 and living in a, what i believe to be, emotionally abusive household. When i was younger, my parents were trying to get in my room to give me a "parental spanking", and i was so scared that i locked the door and hid behind it. My parents broke that door down and that was that. Since then, i haven't had a door, even though they purchased some to replace them with (by them i mean me and my older sibling). My mom constantly comes in my room without knocking, and if i am indecent or undressed, she laughs as i scream and tell her to get out of my room. She constantly destroys my room, piling all of the things she deems as "messy" or "unnecessary" in the center chaotically. She constantly tells me how i ruined her body when i was born and that its me and my siblings faults. She calls my sister a failure in life because she never finished bootcamp or finished her extra school without putting it to use later. She points out our failure to our neighbors, teachers, friends, and random people she talks to at the grocery store. She wont let me talk to or spend time with my friends because she either doesn't like them or because i "need to do more housework". She starts drama at my school because i use school as an excuse to hang out with my friend, (but we actually do school work together...usually). I got to an online school and attend a vocational school afterwards, so i usually go to my vocational school early so that i can get out of my house. My mom bullies my dad, saying that he wouldn't even know how to wash his own laundry if she wasn't allowed, even though he has is own company. I am constantly leaving the house to improve my mental state and my friend has offered her house as a safe place for my when my mom decides to get physical. The problem is, she recently moved 2 hours away from me, so i no longer have a friend that i can rely on to help me through my tough situations unless she is visiting. My mom hates her and keeps threatening to call the cops on her. What do i do? I have little access to the money i make because she believes i am unable to manage my own money properly. What are the steps i should take from here? I need to leave asap.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out! It sounds like you may be feeling like you don’t want to live with your guardians anymore, but you’re not quite sure of the legalities.

    We here at NRS are not legal experts, but we do have some general information about leaving home. Generally, running away is not illegal for you, but parents are obligated to file a runaway report if their child leaves home without consent. With a runaway report on file, police are supposed to return youth back to their homes. And we know this doesn’t happen often, but after returned home, parents can press harboring a runaway charges against the person or people who helped the youth.

    There are options that don’t necessarily have to involve leaving. Parents are able to set up alternate living situations where their child can live with a trusted adult or family friend instead of at home. If there is abuse within the home, a child protective services investigation could possibly warrant removal. Emancipation is also an option. With parental consent, the process can be smooth. But, without it, it could be lengthy and sometimes expensive. Most states require the youth to be financially stable and independent. If this is an option you would like to consider, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website, and we would be happy to give you some legal resources in your area.

    We hope this information is helpful as you make your decision to stay or to leave. We would love to support you in any other way that you need. Give us a call or chat if you need to brainstorm or talk more, we are open 24/7. We appreciate you reaching out!

    Best of luck,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    so i’m 16 and i want to live with my bsf and idk if i can aford an emancipation so i wanted to see if i could just live with him with out their convent if i have a job and a car

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    While we are not experts on the law, someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.


    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 ab to be 17 and I hate living with my mom and step dad can I move out without getting arrested I live in sc btw

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.Be safe.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I stumbled on this cite actually but I’m very glad I found it. I’ve been having a very tough time living with my adoptive parents and would very much like to move out. I am 16 and live on Washington state. I have a steady job right now. My friends family has offered their home and they are very good to me and the dad is also a cop. I believe my mom has some anger issues because when we get into a disagreement she will scream and repeat herself, as well as clap her hands and stomp her feet. Like a temper tantrum. She has threatened to hit me multiple times, and often threatens to my little brothers if they don’t obey her that she’ll give them “pows”. She cusses a lot when she’s mad and has called me hurtful things. She believes that I am mentally unstable due to my past and because I was born with drugs in my system. Just today she was going 25 over the speed limit because she was mad at me, and her kids were in the car. The dad doesn’t want to deal with family issues anymore and has more or less given up. The parents have no patience and have never apologized to me in past experiences for saying something they shouldn’t have or doing something hurtful. I’m scared around my mom and don’t trust her. I am often punished for the the littlest of things as well (ex. One dish was left dirty, didn’t put cheese on my sandwich) I haven’t had my phone in months, and they took away my books and most of my clothes. I checked a cite to see what kind of abuse I might be experiencing and emotional abuse seemed to fit my circumstances. I’m desperate and want to escape this place but have a lot of fear oh my parents reactions. I don’t think I can handle another year and a half. I don’t think they’ll even consider letting me leave. They demean me often despite that I help around the house and often never get to leave. Whenever I want something I have to earn it first and I have to follow through with certain conditions they have placed. I would appreciate help and advice a lot. Thank you for your time.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

    You mentioned that your dad has been psychically abusive to you and your siblings, and you want to leave your home. You’re really brave for enduring all of this and so much more for your siblings and yourself. We’re not legal experts, but anyone under 18 is considered a minor. If you were to leave your home on your own without guardian consent, your guardian may contact the authorities and file a runaway report. Whoever you end up staying with, may face some charges for harboring a runaway. An option you can consider would be to talk to someone from school, and let them know about what is going on at home with your dad and siblings. A social worker or teacher may assist you, and if necessary, child protective services will be involved.

    Another option you can explore would be to contact the National Child Abuse hotline at 1800) 786-2929. If you disclose your personal information, a child abuse report will be made, and someone will be in contact within 48 hours. You may also consider reaching out to any other family members that you trust, in this case your papaw, and clue them in on how you’ve been feeling.

    We hope these resources have been of some help to you. If you need anything else, or want us to call an organization your behalf, you can reach out to us anytime at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 15 gonna be 16 in 7 days,Kentucky My dad emotionally abusing me and my sister refused to do dishes last month and he drag he by her hair and one time got mad for the kitchen being dirty and flung hot soup on me. Ihave 3 younger siblings and he only does it to the older 2 kids he has a really bad temper he told me to go kill myself and I've been getting bullied at school.he tells me i can go live with my papaw and when my sister tried to call he ripped the phone out...i feel so alone and kinda scared staying here.. what would happen if i run away

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

    You mentioned that you ran away from home because you were being psychically abused by your step mom, and don’t want to reside with your mom, because she made you uncomfortable sleeping with her and her boyfriend in the same bed. You’re really brave for enduring all of this, and we want you to know that you’re not alone. We’re not legal experts, but in most states anyone under 18 is considered a minor. If you were to stay with your aunt without your legal guardian’s permission, your legal guardian can file a runaway report with the authorities, and whoever you end up staying with, may face some charges for harboring a runaway.

    You’ve endured psychical abuse by your step mom, and no one should be putting your hands on you. If you wish to talk further about this sensitive subject, you may explore the option of contacting the National Child Abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453. You can call them anonymously, and if you want you may file a child abuse report so child protective services can get involved. Along those same lines, if you need to just talk to someone about the stresses in your life, you can reach out to the National Alliance on mental Illness, and you would be texting directly with a counselor. You may text the word NAMI to 741741.

    We hope these resources and options have been of some use. If you need additional help, or want us to call somewhere on your behalf, feel to call us anytime at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm 16 I ran away cause I was living with my dad and step mom and she was awful to me hitting me all the time and I had just met my breaking point and I ran away and now my dad wants me to live with my real mom but I don't feel safe there either cause she made me sleep in the bed with her and her boy friend I don't want to go there but cps and my dad says I have to do I have any rights and can i stay with my aunt cause that's where I feel safe please dear Lord help me I don't know what to do or what's going to happen

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