Turning 18 in 6 days. Can I move out tomorrow?

[Jt0905]

I have a lot of problems with my mom because she is a single parent and she believes everything I do is wrong. I am considering moving out to my boyfriends parents house (they offered me to stay there) as soon as I can. Because I feel that I am not in a healthy environment at my moms house. We fight too much and I can't live like that I often stay up at night because I can't sleep I have too many things to think about ( because she says my decisions are incorrect) i am currently enrolled in a community college and paying for my classes on my own. I have a part time job and always have gotten around on the bus. My boyfriend is concerned with me moving out because we don't want my mother to call me in as a runaway and then I am forced to go home although I turn 18 on Sep. 5th 2016. Which is SIX days away.

[ccsmod4]

Turning 18 in 6 days. Can I move out tomorrow?

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you have been going through a form of stress and frustration living with your mother.
We understand that sometimes situations can get out of control and it makes it uncomfortable to live under those conditions.
It seems you have a dilemma about leaving home 6 days before your 18th birthday and possibly being considered a runaway.
In some cases the police have been known to not pursue a runaway report when someone is so close to becoming the majority age.

You might consider contacting the police as another option. By contacting the non-emergency number of your local police department you can inquire about their procedures in a situation where a minor is considering moving out of their parents home a few days before they reach the legal age.

You are free to give us a call at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) to talk more about your situation and explore options with one of our crisis service volunteers.
NRS is also available to live chat at www.1800Runaway.org

We applaud you for your hard work with continuing your education while working a part time job to pay for classes. Excellent, good for you.
We look forward to speaking with you.

Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

Can I leave even though my 18th birthday is in 14 days I’m so tired of getting treated like a bad kid when my parents pulled me out of high school and made me get a full time job, when my grandma moved In I lost my room and I now sleep in a chair in the office. I get yelled at for no reason when I’m not working I am stuck at home cleaning everybody else’s mess and other people’s rooms. I can’t have friends or anything else I’m not allowed outside i am stuck inside all day unless it is to go to work.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to us. That seems like an incredibly frustrating situation to be in so it’s understandable that you want to consider your options. You shouldn’t be made to feel unwelcome at home and like a servant or yelled at like that.
Legally speaking we aren’t experts but generally your parents have legal control/responsibility for you until you are fully 18. If you did leave your parents could still report you as a runaway and if police found you they would likely bring you home. When you turn 18 the runaway report would automatically turnover into a missing person report and the police would no longer try to bring you home if they were to find you. It is possible that the police may not enforce or look for a runaway who will turn 18 in two weeks but that is up to them or how hard your parents push them. If they happen to know where you would go they could try to send police directly there to pick you up.
If you don’t have a plan for where to go it may be worth considering trying to find a Temporary Living Program in your area that specializes in helping at risk youth who need a bit of time and help transitioning into their own steady place. They could also help you get a diploma potentially.
Nobody should feel oppressed and used at home the way you have described. If there are more questions you have or you just need someone to talk with feel free to reach out to our online chat, or call 1-800-RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

Hi so I’m considering leaving to go to my sisters house and I Tun 18 in 5 days,I live with my single mother who just thinks I’m the cause of all problems and always say “I can’t wait til you get your own sh*t and get the f*ck up out my house”and she saw my overnight bags and stuff packed and told me I’m not going anywhere not even when I turn 18 so if I leave right now could I be penalized,or if she does call the police and I’m out of state and I turn 18 before they could find me what could happen?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It sounds like your mom has been making home incredibly stressful for you. You do not deserve to be talked down to or made to feel unwanted. The good news is that once you turn 18 you are considered a legal adult in most states with the legal freedom to choose where you live.

It's understandable you would want to move out as soon as possible, but there can still be some risk with leaving as a minor. Until you turn 18, your mom can attempt to report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. This basically means that your mom can ask police for assistance with returning you home even if you are out of state. Your mom would either have to know where you are going or you would have to come into contact with law enforcement for this to happen. Because you are only a few days away from turning 18, it is unlikely that police would intervene at all in this situation. When you do turn 18, the runaway report would be expired and police would no longer attempt to return you home to your mother.

We hope this information helps. If you would like to talk more about your situation in detail, please do not hesitate to reach out again. We are available for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

Stay safe and good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

hi. I live in INDIA. I want to move out of my home on the day i turn 18. can i call the cops if i fear my parents will harm me if i try to move out.i have been living in this wrecked hell for 17.3 years. they dont let me go out unless its for school. they dont let me call my friends and talk to them .they are forcing their religion onto me even though im an atheist. will the indian police give me a civil standby when im moving out?

[ccsmod0]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

[Guest]

I’m turning 18 in 6 days, but I want to move out the day before my birthday would there be anything bc my parents could legally do to stop me from leaving ?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm turning 18 in on the 18th. But I wanna move out the 17th. Can I do that if my Dad says I can? My aunt and uncle have power of attorney currently over me but if I get permission from my biological father to move out now, can I?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS. It sounds like you are just a couple days away from turning 18 and you are wanting to know more about what could happen if you left before your birthday. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this.

18 is usually the age you are able to leave without permission from your legal guardians. You mentioned your biological father is okay with you leaving but that your aunt and uncle might not be. Your legal guardian is the person who can decide where you live until your 18th birthday when you are considered a legal adult. If your aunt and uncle are your legal guardians then they would be who you need permission from to leave. If you leave the day before, your aunt and uncle could technically still report you as a runaway to the police. In most cases, this would mean that police would return you home if you are found. However, since it sounds like you would just be a few hours away from turning 18 it is unlikely police would intervene at all. We always suggest calling the local police department for the most specific answers regarding this.

The good news is that as soon as you turn 18 you are considered a legal adult with the legal freedom to choose where you live. We hope this information is helpful. If you would like to talk more about your situation or you are in need of any resources, please do not hesitate to contact us directly by phone and live chat. 1-800-786-2929; 1800runaway.org.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i was adopted into a family that hates me and makes me do all the chores and cleaning. I work 2 jobs to pay my grandmas bills and she doesnt work at all and sits around all day. as soon as im 18 I would love to go back with my real parents but my grandma is telling me i can not leave home untill im out of school by law. is this true and do i have to tell her im leaving when i pay for my own car and insurance?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It must be difficult to feel that you're not welcome at home and have to support your grandma. We're not lawyers, so we can't provide legal advice. Generally, when someone becomes an adult, which is legally defined by each state and is usually when the individual turns 18, they can decide where they want to live. If you call or live chat with us, we can look up at what age a person is considered an adult for your state. We can also help provide resources and explore your options. We can be reached any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or 1800runaway.org. Wishing you the best of luck!

[Guest]

i am adopted and i am turning 18 this weekend. can i move out at 6am the day of my birthday without my adoptive mom holding me back?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Happy birthday and thanks so much for reaching out, we know it takes a lot of courage. We aren't legal experts, but once you turn 18 you are considered a legal adult (unless you reside in NE, AL or MS). This means that you can live where you wish. If you leave, your adoptive mom can call the police to request a wellness check, but the police would leave you be as soon as they can confirm that you aren't in any kind of immediate danger.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

I turn 18 in 12 days. if i leave now can my parents do anything

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting NRS,
We appreciate you contacting us and being brave in reaching out. We can understand that sometimes it can feel like such a long wait if your parents are not supportive in any way. As far what your parents can do. The basic runaway laws allow parents to file a runaway report if a youth leaves home before turning 18. From there the police would be out looking for you. It is important to note that can never predict what the local police might do. You are so close to 18 it might mean the police won't do anything to bring you back even if you left and they found you. A good idea to think about might be to call your local non-emergency number to the police you could remain anonymous and just ask your questions. You would not get in trouble for asking questions. If you don't feel safe calling out to them we can also assist you with calling out if that is something that feels more comfortable for you. You can give us a call at (800-786-2929) or online at 1800runaway.org.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 11 days away from turning 18 but I can’t stand living here! Can I leave now? My mom is running me down because of my girlfriend and is telling my whole family lies about me and then denies that she does! I live in Wisconsin btw!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello,

I turn 18 in 6 months and would like to know if i lived with my boyfriend and his family if i would be forced to come back home/ be put in juvenile detention for “running away.” Both of my parents have extreme mental health issues like bipolar depression, anger issues, personality disorder, etc. Living with them feels like i’m being suffocated because all they do is make up lies about me and force me to live my life the way they want to. They blackmailed me into enrolling into a university and told me if i didn’t apply to colleges then they would take away my phone and i wouldn’t be able to see my friends or boyfriend and that i’d be grounded until i turned 18. I wanted to apply to community college instead so that i could be closer to home and work part time without having to live at college. They also do not like my boyfriend because they think I should be dating a guy the same race as me…. everytime I come home from his house they make up lies claiming they smell “weed” and accuse me of doing “illegal stuff” with him to make sure im not allowed to see him. I’m still 17, 6 months away from 18 and they have refused to drive me anywhere from now on. I haven’t been able to get my license because they refuse to take me driving and covid set me back into getting my license as well. My parents both blow up on me and all of my sisters all the time and you never know what you’re walking into when you come home to them. It’s an unhealthy situation and i don’t want to sound like just another “teen” who hates their parents but they are extremely toxic and everytime it seems so that i’m happy they get mad and jealous and try to ruin it. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and they liked him up until a few months ago because they are racist and want me to date a man the same race as me …. I want to tell them i don’t want to continue going to a university they forced me to go to but i’m afraid that conversation will end violent or they will threaten me again saying i’m grounded until i’m 18 and am not allowed to go anywhere until i’m 18. My whole entire life i’ve lived my life the way they’ve wanted me to but i’m having a change of mind and want to live my life the way i do and everytime i bring it up they crush my dreams and just put me down. Everyday i wake up to my parents saying terrible things about me and when i come home from my boyfriends , my sisters inform me of all of the stuff they have been saying about me since I’ve been gone. I feel stuck here in my house and want to leave as soon as possible, I feel so trapped and as if i can’t breathe and it’s like walking on egg shells around them. I don’t know what to do but my college semester is up in May which leaves 3 months until i turn 18 which is going to be Hell. I don’t know what to do.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
Since you are close to 18 18 you are nearly considered a legal adult which means that you could move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway in 6 months. As a legal adult, you would have a right to make your own decisions about where you live and what college you wish to attend. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
You by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I turn 18 in 2 days can I leave the day before ?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there!
18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I turn 18 in 43 days, and I want to move out of my parents house because im always getting yelled at and treated with no respect at all. I have a place to go (go to my boyfriends moms) they offered me to come live with them in a safer environment. I also have a job and about to be going on senior leave would I be able to leave with out the cops forcing me to go back home?

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi,
Thanks so much for reaching out. First of all, we’re so sorry to hear about how you are being treated at home. You deserve to feel safe and respected.

To answer your question, if you choose to leave home to stay with your boyfriend’s mom without your parents’ permission, there is a chance that your parents could choose to file a runaway report with the police. The police will then find you and bring you home. Although you wouldn’t get in any trouble with the law, there is a possibility that any person over 18 you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. This issue goes away once you turn 18, since in most states you will be considered an adult.

The way to get around this would be to get written permission from your parents (an email, text, note, etc) stating that you can stay with your boyfriend's mom. That way if they decide to press charges, you have proof that they gave you permission.

Since you are so close to turning 18, the chance is decreased that the police will choose to actively search for you if a runaway report is filed, however the risk is always there.

We also want to stress how important self-care is during this time. Please reach out to your trusted support network for guidance and a listening ear, and practice hobbies that relax you. Maybe this is writing, watching a favorite TV show, or running around your neighborhood. Taking care of your mind and body will help you be better prepared to make tough decisions ahead.

Thanks again for reaching out! We hope this helps. If you want more personalized help, you can reach out to us via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk to a live person privately. Best of luck!

[Guest]

I have a message where my parent told me if I want to leave I can, and now telling me I can’t. I was just wondering if I still could with the message since you know I got the message where she said if I want to leave I can.

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi,
Thanks so much for reaching out. To answer your question, if you’re under 18 your parent’s message that you can leave home is a safeguard for if your parent files a runaway report and the police find you.

Here’s what could happen if you leave home:
Your parent could choose to file a runaway report with the police. The police will then find you and bring you home. Although you wouldn’t get in any trouble with the law, there is a possibility that any person you are staying with over 18 could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. This issue goes away once you turn 18, since in most states you will be considered an adult.

The way to get around this (as you know) would be to get written permission from your parents (an email, text, note, etc) stating that you can leave. That way if they decide to press charges, you have proof that they gave you permission. The police officer may still choose to ignore this written permission. Since your parent has verbally taken back permission, the police might be more inclined to side tip them. It all just depends on the individual police officer that handles your case if a runaway report is filed.

Thanks again for reaching out! We hope this helps. If you want more personalized help, you can reach out to us via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-880-9860) to talk to a live person privately. Best of luck!