I'm turning 16 next year, can I move?

[Unregistered]

Hi, I turn 16 next year and I got an offer from my friend's mom, she said me, her and my friend (her son) could all live together at the beach (she lives there) and it would be a more safe and stable environment. I have told her about how my mom (my dad is gone, haven't seen him, he's just as bad) sells drugs, brings home guys who also do drugs and are basically trash. She may also be a psychopathy due to her actions, she fits the description very well. She steals, lies and is never home to watch me or my two little sisters, she is always off getting on something or selling pills. She uses people and wants me to use people whenever I can (I don't do it though). She also puts me and my sisters in danger, just the other night she got drunk, brought home 'trash' and he stole her keys and phone, he ran off and the cops caught him, there is no telling what he could have done with the keys to our house. He could have came in, at night or just later and do some bad things. Her guy friends scare me too, they are always creepy to me, I'm scared one of them may try something to me unfortunately. I also have to watch my sisters because she is rarely home, she is off getting on something or selling drugs.

So can I go and live with them or not? I don't want to go to court because It will stress me out and if they say I can't, she will treat me like trash while I'm under her roof. If ask her if I can move, she will get mad and say no, and talk about how I am her child and that I have no say so. As for talking to her about her issues, already did that, she just gets angry about it

[ccsmod15]

Re: I'm turning 16 next year, can I move?

Hi there,


Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

You shared that living with your mom is an unsafe environment. You don’t deserve to be somewhere unsafe surrounded by strangers your mom brings home. If you are ever in immediate danger, you always have the option of calling 9-1-1 for help. It took a lot of courage to reach out to us and we are here to support you.

It sounds like you have done a good job of exploring your options to leave home and stay somewhere that is safe, perhaps with your friend’s mom at the beach. You also had some questions about if you are allowed to leave home. While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to run away or leave without your mom’s permission she could file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you go back home. So when considering your options of staying somewhere else for a period of time, getting your mom’s permission would help you.

You mentioned that your mom gets mad and stresses you out when you try to talk to her about this option. One option you could consider would be to use our conference calling service. We could help you do a conference call where you, your mom and someone from NRS would be on a phone call helping you and your mom have a calm and productive conversation about how you’re feeling and that you would like to go stay with your friend’s mom.

Other options could be seeing if there is any other family member or close friend that you could stay with for a while, with your mom’s permission. We could also help you look up youth shelters or alternative living arrangements (ALAs) in your area. It must be really difficult being around so much chaos at home and we want you to know you have options.

If you would like further help exploring any of these options in more detail or just want to talk, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
NRS