Hey there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.
It sounds like your mom does not treat you very well. It’s completely understandable that you don’t want to go through being sent away and not cared for, you deserve to be loved and safe at home. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about how you're being treated, we're always here to make that call with you.
Legally you are a minor and under your guardian’s supervision until you are 18 or are emancipated by a court of law. If you decide to leave to live with your boyfriend before then, your mom could file a runaway report on you. Running away is not a crime, but it is a status offense. This means the police could detain you until they release you to the care of your mom. We have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house and live with your boyfriend. He can also be charged with harboring a runaway if he is above 18 and a legal adult. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.
We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.
Be safe, NRS
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im 15 and wanting to run away
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Guest repliedi'm a 15 year old female. my family is broken. my dad left when i was 3 and started a whole new family and only reaches out for hoildays. my mother has said more then enough that she doesn't want me living with her. she has sent me away to tennessee twice before. and told me she wouldn't mind if i was gone. i'm ready to be on my own. i enjoy making my own decisions. i at this moment am going through the teen court process for possession of weed from last year. but i have stopped smoking and partying like i once did. and it still doesn't seem enough for my mother. i work 3 jobs and am enrolled in school. i want to leave. and i have a place i can go. me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years and he said that i can live with him. we already plan on getting married as soon as i come to age because we know that we don;t want to leave each other and our relationship is as stable and solid as anyone can hope for. ik i may sound like sum dumb teenager who doesn't know the first thing about life but truth is i have been doing things on my own for years. and i'm ready to leave.i'm financially able to be on my own. and i would be way happier. i just don't want any problems brought to my new residence. and i don't wanna get into any more legal trouble myself. i feel trapped in a nightmare. and i just want to get out.
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Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
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Guest repliedI'm 15 and I don't feel safe around my dad
My dad abuse my mum,my two siblings and me(emotionally and physically).He always gets angry when we say something that he doesn't like or when we don't do what he asks for immediately.He yelling at us and sometimes he hits.When I was little my mum and my dad got into a fight,my mum wanted to get out of the house and she told me that we were going to the dentist.As we walked down the stairs my dad comes and hits my mum in her hand.She was bleeding.Years passed and my dad still calls us names and sometimes hits us.One day he came home drunk and he attacked me.Today he kicked me because he told me to do something and I said "yes" instead of doing it.Many times I have been thinking of run away from my house and my family but I don't know where to go or if I should leave the house
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedim 15 and i live in iowa. i want to run away because there is some abuse in my home and i feel like nobody cares anymore.. there has been some suicide attempts, sneaking out , and some other things in the past that has lead to 2 hospitalizations, i know exactly where i would go, would the family get introble if the cops found me? if the cops didnt find me could i get still get introble at the age of 18?
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Hi, it sounds like you’ve got a lot going on, so thank you for reaching out to us today. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, and it’s totally understandable that you’re feeling unhappy. As for running away, we’re not legal experts here, but we can speak in generalities. Typically if a 15 year old runs away, and the parents/guardians were to file a runaway report, then that would be considered a status offense. What that means is that if the police were to find you, they would likely bring you back home. Outside of that, if you stay with someone who is over 18, like your sister, she could be potentially charged with harboring a runaway. As far as the emancipation, it sounds like you work really hard and you have a lot of responsibility, so it is possible. However, typically this can be a long and expensive process, and they usually want to see that you can support yourself financially. An option that could be similar would be having your guardianship changed to your sister, if she is capable of caring for you, and willing to. This could also be a long and complicated process, and would usually require proving that your current home situation is unsafe.
There’s a lot to consider when thinking about running away, and it can all be really difficult. Some key things to have in mind are always your safety, and how you will support yourself if you were to leave home. It sounds like you have a really good support system with your siblings, so you can definitely have these conversations with them, especially if you are considering staying with your sister, since this can be a big responsibility for her as well. If you ever want to talk more about your situation, or if you do decide you’re going to leave and need to talk about what it will look like and how to stay safe, we are here to listen. We’re available 24/7 at 1-800-Runaway and we’re here to help.
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Guest repliedI'm 15 years old and I've wanted to run away from home for A LONG time now. I can't handle my mother and stepfather anymore, I don't feel safe at home and everyday after school I dread going home. I don't feel safe at home not because I am being physically abused, but I'm constantly being verbally beat down on. I have 2 full brothers and 1 half brother and sister. My oldest (full sister) is 25, my oldest (full brother) is 17 and is graduating this year, my youngest (full brother) is 13 and we all have talked so much about how we can't wait to turn 18 and how relieved my oldest sister was when she was able to get out of our house so we can get away from our parents. My youngest (half brother) is only 4 years old and I take care of him all the time, I get him dressed in the mornings, I pick him up from school, and take him home before I have to leave and go to work or practice, my stepdad also is too lazy to watch him alone so I'm not aloud to go to a friends house most weekends. But I can't handle being home anymore. I'm a sophomore and a competitive gymnast, gymnastics costs a lot of money so I decided to get a job so I could help my parents pay for my gymnastics. Because of being a dedicated student, gymnast AND I have a job, im only home at nights, in the mornings, for about 30 minutes after school, most of the day on Saturday and all day on sundays. For the time that I am home, I can't handle the way my parents talk to me and treat me, I hate how lazy everyone in my house is. I have tried talking to my parents before about letting me stay with my sister, and they tried to make me seem like an ungrateful, terrible person and told me im never aloud to go to my my sisters house again. It's been about a month later and I went to my sisters house yesterday (Saturday) after gymnastics, my parents texted my sister last night at about 11:00pm saying I had to be home by 8:00 in the morning TODAY. (Sunday) it's currently 7:24am and I don't plan on being home by 8:00, but I am still thinking about running away. I am also wondering if I should get an emancipation without my parents permission, I know I would have to quit gymnastics if I were to do that, but I would do anything/ quit gymnastics if I had the opportunity to get out of this house.
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Hi,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really frustrating and stressful situation. No one ever deserves to be abused in any way. We’re so sorry to hear that “nobody would do anything” about the situation. We’re not certain if you’ve already contacted child protective services, but you do have the right to do so. For more information on what constitutes child abuse and what might happen if you file a report, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
It’s not okay that your mom “drags” you down and makes you “feel like a worthless piece of crap.” We promise you that you are not a piece of crap and if your mom tries to make you feel that way, it says more about your mom and her issues than it says about you. However, it is possible that your mom isn’t aware of how her words or behavior impact you. You might consider talking to your mom about everything you’ve been feeling. It could be helpful to have a family counselor help with this. Here at NRS, we also offer family mediation by phone. We can help you have a respectful and productive conversation with your mom.
You mention that you don’t want to live with your parents anymore, which makes sense given the situation. As a minor, there are three ways to live elsewhere: with permission of your legal guardians, through emancipation where you’d become your own legal guardian, or removal from your home by a government agency. If you left home without permission, your family would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate you, they may return you home. Still, if you believe leaving is your best option, you might consider staying with a friend or another family member. Another option that you could consider is staying in a shelter. If you need shelter resources, feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1-800-786-2929. We are best able to help by phone.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon,
NRS
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Guest repliedIm 15. I don't want to live with my parents anymore. My mom is going crazy and blaming me. My dad used to abuse me and he still does once in a while. Even after all the abuse nobody would do anything about it. My parents are splitting up and im going with my mom but my mom drags me down and makes me feel like a worthless piece of crap... I dont know what to do
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
Best of luck,
NRS
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Guest repliedim 15 literally can not do anything i can go to school advents i am misable in my house i am constally getting called names and i cant take this anymore this is not my real mom its just a paper she wont even let me get a job nor my drivers peremit im sick of living like this i cant take this any more i litterally just want to die and i just wanna go live with a friend but my mom crazy she literally have motion censers all down the stairs so i can come down and get like a drink or something literally i will wake up crying in the middle of the night im sick of leaving like this she is not my real mom and if i were to say something about it she will get worse and abusive there has to be a way for me to live with a friend without the police caling me a run away i dont feel safe where i am i cnat even get a damn job because she wont trust me god i hate my life so much PLEASE HELP ME
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Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, know we appreciate your bravery for reaching out to us and seeking help. We know that it must be difficult to be going through the situation you are experiencing but our hope is to do the best at helping you know your options and resources available to you.
From what we gather from your story there is much to unpack. So we are not legal experts but from what we can say is because you are still considered a minor your parents have the right to call the cops. Once they inform the police if you happen to run into them they would take you back to your parent’s house. However if you feel like you are not in a safe environment you should know you have the right to call the authorities and report what has been going on. Another option you have is to tell someone whom you trust like a teacher or school counselor. They might be able to help and give you the resources necessary to find a way to get you out of that situation. If you Another option you have if you choose to runaway is to call us or use our chat option online where we can help give you more specific information about shelters, food pantries etc.
Again thanks so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It is our hope that we helped along your situation and at least provided some resource that might help you further in figuring out what to do. If for any reason you have question or concerns please feel free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) on our chat option.
Best Wishes - NRS
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Guest repliedI am a 15 year old boy in WA. I need some advice on my situation. I live in a household that is very toxic. Have have been pushed to the point of self harm, I am sick of living with my mom a specially. There’s got to be an easy way of leaving without causing a show. I don’t want to go into foster care. And I want to go to the same school I am currently at. I haven’t spoke with anyone on leaving and I plan to, in the future. I have know where to go so I am still trying to figure that out. Is there anything you would suggest on leaving. I want to leave but I don’t think that they (CPS) will believe me and I would be trapped with my mom if they didn’t. She has gone ahead and told me to leave. So I plan to but I don’t want her to follow me if I do. Not only that but my dad is linked into this cause he is a bystander in all of this. I don’t want him to lose his job if CPS gets involved, but he has not helped me in any short of way. I don’t have any reliable source of proof besides the marks of me hurting myself. I also have the problem of bringing my stuff with me. I don’t know how to go about all of this, please give me some advice on this.
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Guest repliedI am 15 and I really don’t belong in the house hold I am in. The state that I am in is, there is some way I am leaving this house and there are multiple ways I am willing to go. And one of them includes blowing my brains out. But that is not the preferred way to go, but I have had it with the situation I am in. I have no where to go, but I don’t want to move location and I don’t want to go to foster care. I don’t know what to do I am going to start talking to trusted people and see what i can do. But I am looking for a little guidance from a professional. I don’t want this to be a dramatic show I just want to leave my family and stay in the area I am in(go to the same school and etc).
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