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  • 17; louisiana. Running away without parental consent.

    i dont know what to do. Today i called the police station and asked if it was okay to move out at 17 in louisiana. (they said i must finish school and have parental consent.)

    This really isnt an option for me.

    Life here sucks. im not allowed to work, go anywhere, have any phone calls or even leave my room. If i leave when i do turn 18, im not allowed to take any of my things either. I also can't get a job until i graduate here.

    I need to get out. I dont like being emotionally abused. I dont like being called names and constantly put down. After so long...i start to believe these things. (like im really not smart enough) I dont feel like the child my parents wanted. Not too long ago i got in trouble with the law; however, they let it go. So my parents are even worse now.

    My mom wants to send me to my dads. I havnt seen him in over 6 years and i would be living with his korean family that hes remaried to. i wont even see him cuz he'll be in iraq anyways.

    My grades have fallen. Im failing this year (a junior in high school). I cant attend class because im just too depressed to work. I feel sicker as the day ends because im afraid to come home. Im always reminded of how much of a f**k up i am. And that the only thing ill be in life is a drug addict or a wh**e. My parent always say im sleeping around all the time 2... (which im not) and it hurts.

    I found someone tho.

    I found someone who loves me and will take care of me. Hes 20 years old and needs to get away from here too. we've been together for a year and plan on getting married. (my parents know about this)

    I plan on leaving with him (in 1 or 2 weeks) to either texas or illinois. And i wont come back. I've already done the research that when i turn 18 it will be like it never happened and simply frowned upon.

    but i cant take this. if i have to wait til im 18 to walk out of my door with nothing. why not do it now?

  • #2
    Re: 17; louisiana. Running away without parental consent.

    Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot lately and are trying to look into all your options as far as what might happen if you leave home.

    You mentioned that you have called your local police department to see if you can leave at 17. We are not legal experts here, but in most states it is not considered illegal to runaway. However, most states recognize it a crime to harbor a runaway. It sounds like your boyfriend cares a lot about you and you plan on staying with him. Is harboring you something that he is willing to risk? The consequences for this vary from state to state. Would you consider calling the police again to see what they are for your state?

    We are sorry to hear that you have been called names and put down by your parents. It sounds like dealing with all of this has started affecting your school performance. Have you talked to anyone about this? Other then your boyfriend, who else are you able to go to for support?

    It sounds like you have come up with a plan to leave in a week or two and go to Texas or Illinois. How will you get there? Where will you stay, what will you do for money, food, etc.? Again, we are not legal experts, but some states also have laws against transporting a minor across state lines. Is that a risk you are will to take as well? How do you think your mom and dad will react if you leave?

    We are not in a position to tell you whether to leave or stay. However if you would like to continue talking about your situation, we would be happy to talk to you at our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are anonymous, confidential, and are available 24/7. We wish you luck!

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 17; louisiana. Running away without parental consent.

      Thank you for replying. My boyfriend currently has a vehicle and a job so there is money saved up. In texas he has family (an older brother whose married with a kid) who said its okay to stay there for a little while.

      His brother planned on helping him get a job at the factory and letting us crash there until we could do it on our own. I've been packing my stuff all day long... because all i want to do is get away.

      In illinois there is more family. Jake (one of our closest friends) is moving back and wants to take us. (he has a truck to move our stuff with.) Along with a 20,000 dollar bonus he's getting for leaving the army.

      As for how my parents will react... im not too sure. i know that it will hurt them (eventually) but for the most part there's just going to be anger. My mom says if i leave im not allowed to come back. I honestly dont intend to; however, when im married later on in life and have kids, i want them to atleast know their grandmother.

      I dont want to totally shut them out of my life for good. I just think that some people get along better when they are apart. This is best for us i think. for me atleast.

      At the rate im going at now im not going to graduate. I have to get away. Im just not sure how im going to leave the news. I have two suit cases of clothes packed... things put in boxes...they havnt even noticed. If i dont finish school ill get a GED. sure its not as good as the real deal, but i can still get an online education following it and then transfer later on in life to a real school. My boyfriend says he'll help me through it if its something i really want to do.

      Im just sad that my parents dont want to support some of the decisions i want to make in life. I wont have a wedding that they will attend...nor are they going to be there when i have a kid.

      I'm nervous...but in my heart i dont feel like im making a mistake. It feels right. Its not the bad icky feeling you get before you really screw something up.

      Im going to start a new life.

      Things that do worry me though are:
      what if its worse when i leave.
      what if things dont work out between me and my boyfriend OR something happens to him.
      What if i really need to come back home...even if its a terrible place to be

      I dont want to leave on bad terms, but i definitly cant stay here. I wish my parents would compromise with me and allow me to live with a friend right next to school. that would be great.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 17; louisiana. Running away without parental consent.

        It certainly sounds like you have thought in detail about your plan. It also sounds like you are worried about a few things such as what if it is worse, what if things do not work out between you and your boyfriend, and what if you need to go back home. Have you considered a back-up plan? You mentioned staying with a nearby friend and wishing your parents would compromise. If that is not an option, is there anyone that your parents might agree to let you stay with until you turn 18?

        Again, we are in no position whether to tell you to leave or not. However, if you do ever find yourself in an unsafe situation, you are welcome to call us and we can try our best to help find a safe place to stay such as a youth shelter. Youth shelters generally allow youth to stay anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks. Keep in might that for minors, they generally require parental consent or notification anywhere from immediately to 72 hours. We can also offer conference calling to youth who have runaway whether that is to a social service agency like a shelter or to parents/ legal guardians. We hope you see an improvement to your current situation. If there is anything else you need, do not hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm 21 and my sister is 17. Can she move in with me legally?

          I am 21 years old and I am the oldest sister of 6. My 17 year old sister is my world. I have always taken care of her when my mother could not. I am her mentor and hero and I could not live without her. I live with a 42 year old woman who took me in when I had nothing. I have a vehicle and a job and we stay in a house together. My sister lives only 5 minutes away with our mother who depends on my little sister to help take care of her younger 3 kids for my mothers second husband. My little sister is only 17, a child that can not live a normal teen life because she is too busy raising my mother's children while our step dad stays strung out on pain medicine. My little sister goes through a lot, but I was always there to push her through it. Now my friend's job is taking us to Arkansas which is 9 hours away from our home state of Louisiana. I am torn, I just can't leave my sister behind to deal with her life with my mom on her own. She is begging me to take her with me and I have thought this through thoroughly. She would have a steady safe home with me as well as food, clothes, etc. school is a major priority of mine so I will make sure she finishes school and I will push her through to college as well. I want to give my sister the life she deserves and make her happy but I do not want to do anything illegal. Can someone please tell me, is it legal for my 17 year old sister to move in with her 21 year old sister who can provide for her?

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are trying to make a very difficult situation right now and we are very glad that you have reached out for assistance. Unfortunately, we aren’t legally trained so we can’t tell you specifically what would happen if your sister were to move with you.

            It sounds like you and your sister are very close to each other. It also sounds like you care about your younger sister very much and that’s great to hear. It seems like she needs a lot of support right now and that you are giving it to her. We are sorry to hear that she is going through so much right now and that she hasn’t had a chance to have a good childhood. It sounds like she does a lot for your mom who cares for your stepdad.

            Generally speaking, your sister would be unable to move with you to AR because she is only 17 years old. She is still considered a minor and therefore, your parents are still responsible for her meaning that she can’t just leave without their permission. If she were to go with you, your mom may have the right to file a runaway report with the police. Running away isn’t illegal but you may get into trouble for harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

            What we can do is provide you and your sister with resources such as legal aid, shelters, and other similar resources. We are also here if you or your sister ever needs to talk with someone or have any other questions. Since we don’t know what part of LA you are currently in, we have included a few legal aid resources as a possible starting point.

            The first one is called Family and Youth located in Lake Charles. They are available 24 hours a day at 337-436-9533. Another one is called Covenant House located in New Orleans; their phone number is 504-584-1111 or online at http://www.covenanthouseno.org.

            If these aren’t of any assistance or you have any other questions, please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat service that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week.

            We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.
            ~NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Too strict parents

              Hello um im 18, a onyly child & my parents dont treat me my ag me it seems as if im 13 i have a car & its like i cant drive it anywhere other than school which is stupid why have my license & a car & not be able to go places when i want i even got my key taken for no reason another reason i feel like my dad doesnt want me going anywhere i was a good child all throughout school i never had behavior problems period but yet its like he finds anything to fuss about & gets so mad over nothing he thinks hes always right & what he says goes i have a boyfriend.that i have to sneak & see which is really hard & u hate doing it but im too scared to ask my parents is ok for me to go over to his house just b/c i know how they are so i just feel like i know how thats going to go sometimes ive tried a little talking to my mama & she knows how crazy my dad is herself but yet she never takes up for me & i just feel so alone & embarrassed that im 18 & can never be able to do what other 18 years old do my parents dont even make it easy for me to feel ok w/ talking to them so i dont even though i should i start college in the fall & wanna stay in campus its just i dont have a job & dont wanna wrk & go to school to be able to pay for the dorm a semester & also to even tell my parents i wanna move out especially my dad i really wanna leave sometimes & it is legal for me to do so since im 18 right ? But where would I go & how would I provide for myself ? Feel like ive been spoiled & babied all my life & i hate it i wanna be independent/grown but its like they wont let me when i was 17 i wanted to wrk & he wouldnt even let me & thats something positive I really hate my life & i have no where to turn so thats why im on here ! Please help w/ your opinions !!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Too Strict Parents

                Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and are really fed up with how your parents are treating you. It sounds like your parents are a bit protective and this really comes off as controlling. It’s understandable that at 18 you want to venture out more on your own and have more independence. The truth is that at 18 in most states you are considered an adult and you have the right to leave your home without your parents’ permission. Obviously there is a lot more to this than just taking off and leaving. You make a lot of valid points about wanting to have more independence but also thinking about how you would support yourself and if you would want to work and go to school at the same time. It’s a tough spot to be in. You still probably need support from your family but also would like them to start treating you as an adult.

                You mentioned that you have tried to talk with your mom about this before but nothing seems to change. Do you feel there may be another way to go about speaking with your parents about this issue? Perhaps even writing a letter and getting your thoughts down on paper? While they may not be willing to give you as much freedom as you would like perhaps there could be some kind of compromise. You are at the age that legally you can be on your own but it’s still difficult to be completely independent. Is there anyone else supporting you during this time? Just so you know there is always someone here to listen if you would like to discuss your situation more in depth. Now we are not counselors here and cannot give specific advice but we are always available to provide support and discuss different options and resources that may be helpful. We also have a service where we can mediate a conference call between youth and family. If you are interested in getting anymore assistance you can contact us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have an online chat that is available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. All of our services are completely confidential and anonymous. Please feel free to reach out to us anytime.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  My House

                  I would like to go live with my mom.My parents have 50/50 custody.My largest problem is I hate being at my Dad's house.He is emotionally abusive.He is always talking about my mom and how my brother and I are liars and "deniders of his good" his exact words.I hate being at his house and I just want to live with my mom.I get in trouble for talking to y friends who are good people.He always talks about how I dress, or say that my mom is a druggie (she is not)he also talks about my step dad who is a amazing dad.My brother and I must share a room and he is 16 and I'm 14.At our mom's mt brother and I both have our own rooms.We have privacy and we don't screamed at for the littlest thing.Our father is very judgmental and bipolar and I have told him plenty of times that I wanted to go to my Mothers.We have gone to court and the case gets dismissed and the judge we had dropped us.One time we told our Dad that we were going to stay at my moms and he called the cops.Is there a way legally I can go to my mom's and stay there.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My House

                    Hello,

                    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like it’s a tough situation living with your dad. It must be hard to listen to him talk bad about your mom and stepdad, whom you care about, and to hear him call you and your brother liars. It sounds like you and your brother prefer living with your mom and stepdad; it’s good that they are there for you when your dad isn’t. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts. It looks like you’ve tried to reach out to the legal system, but the case keeps getting dismissed. If this is a custody issue, and you want your mom to have full custody, then you would have to see if you can talk to other legal experts. If we know your county, city, and state, then we can provide legal aid resources. That way, you can find the appropriate number to call to get your questions answered. We are open 24/7 on the lines at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are open for chat 4:30 pm – 11:30 pm central time every day.


                    Good luck, and we look forward to hearing from you soon,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      run away

                      I live in Louisiana , can I leave my parents house? my friend did , and didn't have to go back home.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: run away

                        Hello there,

                        Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. Just to let you know, we are not legal experts. In most states it is not against the law for you to run away from home. In most places it’s not against the law for you to run away from home. Technically it’s not against the law for you to run away from home. In most places it’s considered a status offence. However, anyone you would be caught staying with could possibly be charged with ‘harboring a runaway’.
                        We are a confidential and anonymous hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST.

                        - NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Too young who cares

                          I am currently 14 years old living in new orleans. I have been living in miami most of my life.Everywhere i was surrounded by whites.I have suffered from culture shock living in new orleans before i didnt even know what the ghetto was.I have recently gotten out of a dangerous school.Filled with guns drugs and more i was scared out of my mind.Thank god i am black or i swear i wouldve gotten shot.Due to my ignorance of the ghetto i had no idea how to fit in i was constantly being made fun of my hair in miami i was being made fun of my skin color.In new orleans the teasing was unbearable one step in the classroom every single student laughed and i was clueless of why.My parents always did my hair due to us being poor.Every single student had jordans and expensive shoes while i had church shoes from the thrift store.Fast foward, in school i had the best pair of friends i had ever made they were willing to fight for me and i loved them in a bro kinda way.That school i attended was nowhere as bad as the other ones i been to.In the other schools i stayed quiet and minded my own bussiness due to i had no idea how to fight and i was one of the smallest.The reason why im small most likely comes from my rickets.I know almost nothing of my past or my biological father.I had once asked my mother (i dont believe she is related to me unless i see my birth cerificate.) and she cried her eyes out.My "mother" and my step father are constandtly trying to mold me.Every fuc*ing day i get a dam* lecture about life or about how to act and say no to drugs.They constanstly check up on me even before the bullying.I cant be in the bathroom too long i can stay up too long even on a saturday when school is over for the time and i dont need to prepare for school.i cant watch channels over PG or even G. I was once caught watching star wars the cartoon version and was told i cant watch it like wtf?The only independence i have is going to the gasoline store BUT i must get permission.To make sure i stay asleep they put bells on the outside of my door.My step father is rough and brings his pathetic problems home.He doesnt make a effort with kids and follows his wife like a horny dog.He resembles a pregnant hippo with glasses. He is trying to make me a man he calls me hard headed carless he once whipped me savagely with me naked and my di*k on the bed i was 8 or 9 because i took the keys.Although they stopped whipping me i am constantly being molded into a gentlemen or some sh*t.Hold the door for women they say even when i was going to anyway.Just today i walked the dog without permission and they told me the police would take her they say she isnt a poodle like i dont know that?the dog is a 5 year old rottweiler.What they dont understand is that i dont care about rules anymore if i didnt know of god i wouldve done something i WOULDNT have regretted.but god has always been on my side despite my many sins.My parents also dont allow me to have technology.I dont have a phone or any social media due to me looking up fisting on wikipedia.ON WIKIPEDIA NOT PORN HUB so whats the problem??? My "mother" freaks out and threatens me taking stuff i dont have i share a room with my brother for god sakes i own nothing i care about except for my little sister.I have absolutely no idea whats a hash tag for its embarsing.I have been made fun of not having a phone on top of other countless things.They are scared of me watching porn which i have done.But i swear i would mostly play on angry bird or talk to my friends which i dont have.ALl my life i was the uncool kid the unpopular kid i was the lowest of the low.For once i want to have something in common with popular kids.Currently i want to be a lawyer but i really long to be a rapper who gives postive messages.I want to change the ghetto and stop the violence it is sad.But for me to become a rapper i need beats and place to write and access to how to videos.A phone is all i need.It stabs me to not have to skills to support my passion.Im very competitive and this is want i love.THey claim im not grateful LIKE IM NOT ********ING GRATEFUL EVERYDAY I USED TO PRAY THANKING GOD FOR FOOD AND A HOME.They need to give me credit never have i talked back with foul language no matter how pissed i get.I cant even listen to music i love i find rap beatiful some not like drake or nicki minaj.I like eminem or slaughterhouse who make gorgeous music,music with a meaning beyond the foul words is some beatiful meanings like eminem caring for his daughter.He has countless songs mentioning or about hailie i have to get off before they find out im on their laptop although i have countless issues even if they arent big as starving children when im rich every week i will give 10 thousand dollars to charity

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            re: Too young who cares

                            Hi there,

                            We are glad you reached out to us today, and it sounds like you have a lot going on. It seems like you are feeling overwhelmed, and are having problems with your mom and stepdad. We are sorry to hear that you are having various problems with how they are treating you, it doesn’t sound like an easy situation to be in. It can’t be easy being bullied at school, and it’s understandable that you would feel overwhelmed, or low. We are here to support you during this time, and it looks like you have a lot on your mind about what’s going on, and we will help you the best we can.

                            It is a hard situation to be in when your parents are restricting what you can do, and it’s understandable that you would want to be able to connect with your friends. We are glad that you have found some friends at your new school that you like, and that stand up for you. It sounds like you have a passion for music, and we are glad you have found something you enjoy and are passionate about. We would like to provide you will a couple of resources that may be able to help you further with what you’re going through. Some good websites you can go to for support when you are feeling bullied is http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org, www.stopbullying.gov, and www.netsmartz.org. It sounds like you have a lot you would like to talk about, have you considered talking to someone at school, such as a counselor, teacher, or social worker? We are here to support you, and it’s understandable that you would feel overwhelmed with everything that’s going on.

                            It looks like you are going through a tough situation, and we want to make sure we are supporting you the best we can. If you would like to talk further about your situation and what’s going on, the best way to reach us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, where you can remain confidential and anonymous. You can also reach us through bulletin, email, and through our chat service from 4:30PM to 11:30PM. We are sorry to hear that you have so much going on with your friends and family, and we are here to support you.
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm 17 years old, I want to leave home.

                              Hi my name is Cauani I am 17 years old I live in Louisiana Metairie. My case is that I have a boyfriend of 20 years we have been dating for more than 7 months my parents are against dating, I want to live with him because my parents are against and I can not take this situation anymore they do not let me see my boyfriend, it's difficult that I do not want to live here anymore I want to leave home and live with him I can not live like this, but I'm 17 years old and I'm afraid the police will come after me or arrest my boyfriend, can he arrest my boyfriend if I go home? ? I do not know how to do it help me I need an exit to this problem I want to leave home, I feel safe with my boyfriend he has a job lives alone is independent he can give me the good life but I do not know how to do, my parents never me Let it go anywhere with my boyfriend they never gave me any freedom I study sometimes work but I want to leave the house please help me

                              Comment

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