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I'm 15 and want to move out

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern, which sounds like the case. You definitely shouldn't have the responsibility for getting between your parents, especially when they're being aggressive toward each other. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm a 15 year old male and my parents keep getting drunk and trying to beat each other I keep have to get in the middle. I have a place to stay am I able to leave

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    We are glad you reached out to us with your questions and to ask for help. It sounds like you are in overwhelming situation with your parents and that you cannot get the space you need to show them you are getting better. It makes sense that you are thinking about running away.

    First, it is great that you can admit that you messed up. It is important to acknowledge your part in the issues but also important not to take ownership of things out of your control or responsibility. It sounds like your parents are focused on limitations and yelling to keep you on the path they want and maybe they can’t see your ownership in messing up and your intention to change.

    While running away is not illegal or a crime, it might not help with your parents seeing you in a different light. They may just look at running away as another big problem that is your fault. In most states, the age of majority (when you are considered an adult and you can leave home on your own) is 18, but you need to check your specific state.

    Emancipation is a legal process where you severe your parents’ custody and rights over you. Every state has there own procedures and requirements. In general, you have to prove you can take care of your basic living needs, you can maintain your education and that you can make responsible decisions for your own well-being. Many states require your parents’ consent to being emancipated. You will need a lawyer to help you go down that path.

    We might be able to help you figure out a plan for getting the space you need with your parents and changing the interaction with them so it is more supportive to your needs and what you want for your future. We need more details about your situation to help you with that. You can reach out to us for a chat through our website or call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY any time 24/7. Both are completely confidential.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and I’m depressed and trapped I have bad grades and all I am is just a failure to my parents I can admit I have messed up I did a couple of drugs and I understand the reason there like this but I feel trapped and not lived I can’t talk to anyone not aloud to have friends no phone only school and then I HAVE to go to wrestling witch is just more stress I get sick when I get yelled at witch is 24/7 I never had a chance to show them I could get better but I just want to die being at home and I just want to be with parents that would help me not yell at me for messing up I get called stupid dumb all the time and I keep losing hope please help me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello Riley!
    It sounds like things at home have been incredibly difficult. It’s our understanding that you’ve reached out to us before through chat. Please keep in mind that we can only respond to forums twice, so it may be better to reach out by chat again or by phone if you’d like to have an extended conversation about your circumstances and your options.
    You mentioned that your father abuses you. We’re so sorry to hear this. You deserve to feel safe in your home. One option to consider would be filing an abuse report with Child Protective Services, who may then be able to help remove you from your home. In the past, we’ve referred you to Child Help USA. Child Help is an organization that is dedicated to helping minors facing abuse. You can reach out to them at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org if you’d like to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. They might be a really useful resource for you. We can also help you report abuse if you’d like, either through our Live Chat or by phone.
    You mentioned that you fear that your situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. You do not have to face this alone. If you’re at risk of hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline might be able to provide support. You can reach them at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or at 1-800-273-8255 for help at any time.
    If you feel as though you’re in immediate danger for any reason you can also reach out to emergency services or 911.
    Your life matters to us and we’re here to help you explore your options. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or reach out again by chat if you want to talk in more detail.
    All the best,
    National Runaway Safeline

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    hi my name is riley i am 12 years old and i feel like kiling my self because i my dad lwaays yells at me and hits me and he put mein a hospital please help me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,



    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It takes great courage to reach out for help, and we are glad that you have decided to reach out to us.

    What you have described seems abusive and we are sorry that you are having to go through that. You do not deserve to be treated that way, and you do have the right to file a report. One option would be to contact Child Help at: 1-800-422-4453, and they can help you file an abuse report.

    Also, we want to let you know that your life is valuable and has meaning to it. If you need someone to talk too you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1-800-273-8255; https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. It is available to anyone in an emotional distress.

    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are available to you 24/7 to listen and to provide support through this challenging time.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



    Best of luck!

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 15 years old.... and i live in a broken home with an abusive father.....i have been trying to get away but it hasnt work..... i went to my school counselor and told them about the abuse that i was experiencing......i also am suffering from depression.... it is at times that i want to kill myself..... my parents dont allow me to be social.... i have no social platforms because my parents took away all of my means of communication......and what makes it worse is that my parents are keeping me away from my girlfriend....... she is the only thing that is keeping me from killing myself....... i need to see her and have her in my life but i also dont want to stay with my family...... there is too much emotional and physical damage i have dealt with...... and im at my breaking point.... i need help please........

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and we are here for you. You do not deserve to be mentally abused. It sounds like you are in a stressful situation with your mom and considering running away.

    We work best when we can have a conversation with you and we want to make sure you are safe. We are not legal experts but the age of an adult in most states is 18 years old. If you are under the age of 18 years old you would be considered a minor. In most states, minors are unable to leave the home with their parent/guardians permission. Since you are 15, your parent or guardian could contact the police and file a runaway report. The police may return you home.

    There are a lot of things to consider about running away. We are here to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon at our website https://www.nationalrunawaysafeline.org/ .

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    Take care,
    NRS
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My name is Ella, and I am 15 years old, and I really want to move out or away from my mom. She is nice to me sometimes. Our relationship is like the Kingda Ka roller coaster. My mom does not allow me to have a phone. I haven't done anything bad on it except talking to boy(which every teen girl does). She cusses at me and mentally abuses me. Some days shes nice and other days it like godzilla. We dont get along much anymore. I had bought myself my own phone and hid it from her. She finally found it and she took it. So, I found it and took it back. Over and over again. Yes I know its bad but its a safety issue. I have my friends, coping skills, on the phone. I dont know what to do. I dont want to runaway bc its illegal, but i dont want to stay with my mom....

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks so much for reaching out. While we are not legal experts, and some laws vary depending on what state you live in, we can speak in general terms. If you leave home at 15 without permission from your parents, your parents can file a runaway report. This means that if the police find you they will most likely have to return you home. Running away is not a crime, but any adults that you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway. This means that, if your friend lives with their parents, they could potentially get in legal trouble for letting you stay there.
    Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to avoid being returned home if you are found. Something to consider might be whether you will continue to go to school. If you show up at school while filed as a runaway, the school may report your location to the authorities. This is a risk you might have to take into account if you are trying to stay hidden.
    In the end, we cannot tell you what to do. You know your situation best. However, if you’d like to talk through your options in greater detail, feel free to reach out. We can best assist you over phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat at www.1800runaway.org. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You do not have to be alone in this.
    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 15 and moving in with my friend who lives in my town without telling my parents. What are me legal rights and what can my parents do legally to get me back? Is there anyway around it?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! Thank you for reaching out to the NRS!

    We're sorry to hear about your struggles at home. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. We hear you, you should not be treated that way at home by your step dad, your mother, or any other family member. You deserve to be somewhere that makes you feel wanted and safe. You have been very brave to not just make it this far already but also for recognizing that you are not being treated fairly and sharing with us.

    You mentioned that you are suicidal -- we take suicide very seriously here at the NRS. If you feel like you are suicidal and a danger to yourself, we highly advise you contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800)-273-8255 or call 911. Additionally, if you feel as though you're going through your mental health issues alone, a great resource is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They have great support groups there with people going through similar issues at https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups.

    If you want to pursue filing a child abuse report or just want to learn more about the process, we can help you with that at the NRS if you call 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

    You also mentioned that you have experienced sexual assault by a family member. If you would like to talk to someone about your experience or even file a report a great resource to do that is at RAINN. You can learn more at this website https://www.rainn.org and their National Sexual Assault Hotline number is 800.656.HOPE (4673).

    Regarding running away or at least getting away from your home, we hear you. It sounds like you’ve been in a very overwhelming environment with you parents and siblings, and it’s understandable why you would want to get away from it all. That said, we still wanted to share some information with you on that matter. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but because you are 15, you are still a minor. It is within your parents' rights to file a missing persons report if you go off the radar, and it is possible that if you stay with another adult that they will be in trouble for harboring you. If a missing persons report is filed, the police will be obligated to release you back into your parent's custody. If you do have your parent's permission to move out, one option is to seek emancipation, which is becoming independent of your parents before you turn 18 -- the process requires you to demonstrate your self-sufficiency (getting a job) and it tends to go faster if your parents are compliant.

    That said, if you are still committed to running away, there are a number of other considerations, including the ones you mentioned yourself, that you should keep in mind. One is where you will be staying. Will it be with another family member or perhaps a friend? If you don't have a place to go, there are youth homeless shelters we can help you find if you connect with us over call or chat. However, these locations are not usually long-term. When you find a place to go, do you have a reliable means of transporting yourself there? Also, how do you plan on supporting yourself financially once you leave home? We aren’t here to tell you what to do or what not to do, but we encourage you to continue fleshing out your feelings and plans with people you trust so you can make the most informed decision for yourself.

    We wish you all the best and hope you will find these resources helpful. If you have more questions or just want to talk about your situation more with one of our representatives, once again, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m a 15 year old female. This was very hard for me to come to but I’m done I had enough I can’t take it no more I constantly have the urge to run away I’ve talked to multiple people/friends about how I feel and I’ve been trying to plan on how to act on moving out when I was little my dad left me my mom and little sister at 3 years old my mom was a single mom had struggled a lot to take care of us she was abused at a young age and moelested, growing up we lived with are grandma who was and abusive chain smoker and at the age of 13 she told me to rap a chain around my neck and die yes I knew she was Ill but I took it to heart because I was suicidal I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals for many reasons also growing up my mother had a toxic abusive boyfriend we would move in and out of his house one time he beat my mom in front of me and threw her phone at the tv broke both her phone and tv then one time we moved back to grandmas he came to are basement window witch is where we lived at my grandmas and he banged the window told us he had a gun and my mom called the cops and he left but another this is while we were living in my grandmas basement me and my sister lived in this walk in closet it was always so messy but growing up we moved to the upper part of the house but some times my mom wouldn’t be home and my grandma would make starky comments towards me and only me because she had a favorite witch was my sister also I loved my mom a lot I had lots of daddy issues I did see my dad some weekends growing up. When I was 9 I made my first attempt of suicide I ran In front of a moving car I would of died if he didn’t stop on time and reason why I wanted to die was because I was moelested by my cousin on my dads side and abused verbally,mentally and even physically by my grandma, and even my mother she had some rough times with me growing up but the things she did still hit and my grandma she would beat me with her cane, dcfs was involved a few times in my life but I never wanted to be taken away because I had so much love for my mother she took care of me when no one else did this is why it’s so hard for me to let her go but I’ve had enough, she’s ripped the clothes off my back like literally ripped right off and dragged me by my hair, and clothes, she was manipulative and I would always feel like it was my fault and I was a bad kid I always felt bad and guilty only because she made me feel that way she’s spanked me hit me with a brush and with a phone but this was when I was 13-14 once my mother found someone who she wanted to marry who was a Christian man I was excited didn’t really expect much to Change but I was way wrong my mother started taking me to church at 11 or 12 I hated going but she would force me and still forces me to go to church and youth group. Once my mom got in a relationship with this guy we found out about his 5 year old daughter at the time and she was the worse 5 year old in my life u ever meet I had to empathy for her because of all the things she did she touched me in my crouch and grapped it tight I corrected her many times telling her not to do that and when I would tell my parents they would say she’s just 5 and I said when I was 5 i never did that she also grasped my butt and breast witch made me mad and uncomfortable once my mom and her boyfriend got married we moved into this small 3 bedroom house wit h was definitely and upgrade but when the boyfriend and her daughter moved in everything went down hill my little sister didn’t wanna share a room with nobody so I decided to be a bigger person and share a room with the 5 year old because I felt that my family deserved better and shouldn’t have to suffer I always thought that way growing up I always thought how much better they would be without me because I feel like such a big burden. Then when she moved in she would wet and poop in her bed she ended up having 5 utis and we had her every week, over the weekend she would see her mom who would put her in dippers and make the 5 year old misbehave toward us and whenever I would tell the 5 year old not to touch my stuff she wouldn’t care or listen and keep touching and breaking my things, and finally my stepdad/moms boyfriend a few months into being a step dad he thought he was in charge of me and would always take my phone yell and tell me what to do and we had a talk about who puts the rules down witch is my mother because he is not my real parent and yes he does provide for me well he has to but he doesn’t give me respect I always end up getting in trouble because of his daughter one time I was having a bad day and went to my room with a bunch of food because I was stress eating and he came in my room yelling at me because my mom was crying because I told her I didn’t wanna talk because I had a long day and then he verbally and mentally abused me to the point I was shaking couldn’t talk or move I was traumatized crying in my bed because he threw my food again the wall and at the window, my mom was right there as he was cussing me out staying silent because he has her brain washed but when she thought I was gonna get worse because I think she thought what I thought witch was he probably gonna slap me if she didn’t stop him, I ended up running away 3 time living her because of many things like that kept happening and my mom and him would always have big fights and I would get worried that they would end up divorced because of me anyway sorry for telling my whole story but I would Really like to know how to get out I don’t really have a job and I’m working on that but another thing is I don’t wanna have to get take. Away from my family and friends in fact I just wanna move in with my friend but I wouldn’t wanna be a burden on there family I don’t know how I would stay in my school and I wanna be able to do this without my parents telling me and manipulating me to stay I still wanna be able to talk to my mom and my newborn brother and my bio sister but I wouldn’t wanna talk to the stepdad or step sister because I have nothing but hate towards them another thing is I’m worried they would take my phone like they always do they always go threw my stuff I have no privacy my my pick locked the door while I was in the shower or bathroom like 4 times so I feel that I have no privacy and they also threatened to read my text transcripts witch made me made because I am in a relationship and I don’t want them putting they’re opinions and i’m not letting me go to see him ever so I just want some basic steps on how to get out of this please and thank you

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It is really brave of you to reach out for help. It seems like you are feeling isolated from your family and stuck.

    We are not legal experts at NRS, but some states do have different laws and rules regarding the age you can legally move out. In order to better help you and figure out how we can help in your specific situation, please reach out to us through chat (www.1800-runaway.org) or phone (1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    If you feel like you are not safe where you are, please contact the police right away.

    We look forward to hearing from you, and thank you again for reaching out,
    NRS
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