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  • Hello. I’m a 15 y/o nonbinary(originally female) living with my parents. I am planning on leaving whenever it is safest for me to do so. My 16th birthday is in 5 months. I already have a plan on housing and such once I leave, I would just like to know if I should wait these five months or not. My parents are extremely toxic, homophobic, and transphobic. One of their favorite tactics is gaslighting, and I can’t stand it anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We cannot give you advice as to when you should leave, but these are the ways we know you can legally leave before the age of 18.The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • I’m 15 and I can’t stay living in my house anymore. If I run away would my parents be able to file charges against me and would I be legally able to stay at a friends house without there consent

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to us, we understand it takes a lot of courage to reach out and ask for help. It really sounds like you have been feeling unhappy in your home for a while.

      We here at NRS are not legal experts, but we do know some general information. Running away is not illegal, it is considered a status offense. However, if your parents report you missing and the police found you, they could return you home. One thing we know that doesn’t happen very often, but is possible, is that harboring a runaway charges could be filed against the person who lets you stay with them.

      It is harder to find legal channels to be removed from your home, but we would be glad to explore some options with you if you feel like you need to be supported that way. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or you can live chat us through our website https://www.1800runaway.org/. After this information, if running away still feels like your best option, we would also be glad to help you think through your safety plan.

      We hope that this information will help inform a plan that you feel is best for you. We would be glad to help and support you in any way that you feel you need. Thanks again for contacting us.

      Best,
      NRS

  • Im a 14(turning 15 very soon) female. I cannot live at this house anymore. Please tell me there is some way i can get away from this hell hole

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS and for sharing a little bit about what's going on. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household and other family members are not supportive. It sounds like the stress you have been under while living there has become very overwhelming. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and cared for.

      Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

      The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

      Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about what your options might be for getting additional support in this situation.

      We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

  • I’m a 15 year old female and my parents have become super strict and started taking away things I use to express my self. We have had bad arguments in the past that have led to yelling back and forth, getting hit a few times, them comparing me to my sister, and getting called unpleasant names. I’m sick and tired of them and want them out of my life fast. I was wondering if there was anyway for me to go live with a friend with out my parents permission or having to go to court. Talking to them is not easy and can lead to more arguing. I have even asked to talk to someone and they still haven’t taken me. Also any thing I say to my councilors at school will just take everything I say back to my parents.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what's going on. It sounds like the situation at home with your parents is affecting your mental health. It is not okay for your parents to hit you or call you names, I'm sorry you're being treated that way.

      Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can have the police return you home.

      The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for, it’s called an Alternative Living Arrangement. If your parents give their written permission, you can live with someone else (a relative or family friend, for example) until you turn 18. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, or a friend's parent can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving. We are not legal experts, so if you want more information you might consider talking to your school counselor to see if they could help you with the documentation, calling your local police department non-emergency number, or calling us so we can refer you to legal services that could answer any specific questions you may have.

      If you’d like to talk more about your situation and your options, please do not hesitate to reach out by calling us at 1-800-786-2929 or by chatting with us through our website at 1800runaway.org (click the chat button). We are 24/7 and confidential. We are here to listen, and here to help.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • Im 15 and i want to move out. I have been verbally and mentally abused for a few years now and in some situations even physically. Is there a way I am able to legally move out without them having a say in which makes me unable to?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      It sounds like home is a very stressful place to be and it makes sense that you would want to leave. You mentioned that sometimes the abuse gets physical and that raises quite some concern for your safety and well being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • I'm 15 year old female, I live in a household that is only my mom and I. I want to move out because my mom verbally and mentally to the point I can't stand hearing her name or voice without it making me upset or angry. I'm not in any physical danger from her, but I don't know how much longer I can handle living with her. I have a friend that said would let me move in with them, but I can't just ask my mom to let me move out because she would say no. There are no family members I can move in with because they are just all the same as she is. I don't know what to do. My friend lives in a different state, but we are really close and have known each other for a long time.
    I really just want to get out of my house because I can't stand it. I really, really can't.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone. You do not deserve to be abused in any type of way and we are sorry that you are going through that. You do have the right to make an abuse report and there are a few ways you can go about doing that
      . One option to consider is calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. You can also give us a call and we can help you make an abuse report. Another option is to tell a trusted adult.
      We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could possibly happen if you were to leave. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. Also whoever you were to stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. You could look into emancipation, which may grant you adult rights before the age of 18. You can find out more information on emancipation by calling your local court house.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • Is there a legal way I can transfer custody to another family member without my abusive parents having a say in that I can do so or not?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • I just turned 15, I'm in a toxic relationship with my mom and step dad, they verbally abuse me to the point of hurting my self. I desperately want out of this house hold, could I run away to my aunts house without being taken away from her.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you are having a lot of conflict with your parents and have been attacked instead of supported by them. Its understandable to feel frustrated and look for ways to cope. It seems like you have turned to self-harming as a form of coping, if you are looking for some potentially healthier ways to cope https://twloha.com/ is a useful resource. It may also be worth looking for a counselor or therapist to help talk things out and cope.
      If you were to run away to your aunts’ house your parents could still have you come back home by filing a runaway report. It’s possible that police would listen to your story and choose to investigate possible child abuse before they brought you home. If you want more information on that you could look at http://childhelp.org/.
      If you have other questions please reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online.

  • I'm a 13 year old female, and iv'e been through ALOT of stuff. My mom passed away when I was 8, and I moved into my abusive aunt and uncle's house. Now they are my legal guardians and I don't know what I can do to leave. I already told my grandma that I wanna go live with her and she said that was okay but I would have to bring it to court. I don't Know how to tell my parents that I want to leave, so could you give me advise on how to bring it up to them?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to us today, it was very brave of you. It sounds like you are going through such a hard time. We are here to help you and support you in any way we can.

      We are so sorry that you lost your mother at such a young age, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot of pain. You deserve to be happy and loved. It’s wrong that your uncle and aunt treat you so terribly. We are so glad that you have your grandmother and that she’s wanting you to live with her. We do offer conference calling services between youth and their guardians, if you want us to help you talk to them. Or maybe your grandmother could help you talk to your parents. We’re here to help you think through these options.

      We also have resources for legal aid, they’re lawyers who help youth. We can look one up in your area and they would know more about custody.

      If you feel comfortable, please reach back out to us. Our safeline is open 24/7 at (800) 786-2929 and you can chat with us on our website at www.1800runaway . We want to talk with you and support you through this time.

      Best, NRS

  • I'm a 15-year-old female and I want to leave my house and never return. My mother is very seriously one of the rudest and emotionally abusive people. I would be at a friend's house and my mom would all of the sudden call and scream into the phone at me to make sure I'm not dead and then in my friend's ear for not checking in as well. This is so embarrassing and usually ends with me coming home early and her yelling about how ungrateful I am that I don't want to be home with the family and instead want to be with friends. A lot of my friendships as well as relationships with my favorite family members have ended because of her behavior. She thinks I'm on drugs and having sex already when in reality I'm a straight-A student and am Catholic and I have *one* boyfriend right now who is able to listen to me and help me talk through my problems, which I am very grateful for. I used to have the most amazing friend group but she made me delete all of my socials and stop talking to them because they were 'bad influences'. I also have 4 siblings who are constantly getting on my mother's nerves and she yells at us (but mainly me because I'm the oldest) and is overdramatic about everything we do and all of us have some sort of mental health disorder and she doesn't seem to want to get us help. I talked to her and my dad openly about wanting to get help for feeling suicidal for multiple years now and she said that I'm ungrateful, selfish, and stuck-up for wanting to end my life. Our extended family is very messed up and once I leave this house I never want to come back or see anyone here again. I want to know how to move out of this cage and possibly in with a friend who's going to college next year, or literally anyone else besides my mother. I have had depression diagnosed by two doctors, and yet she pulled me from therapy because it 'was too much for her to keep up with', and also she didn't like seeing our neighbor who works there every time she went. She didn't want her reputation soiled. The emotional abuse in this house is absolutely unreal, though every time I try to talk about it I'm told other people have it worse. I don't disagree; I've had some good times, but when the bad ones hit they're her fault 90% of the time. It's her personality and the way she's wired and I get that, but I want to leave and never come back. My parents are still together, and we all live together, the 7 of us, in this house. My mother is not an alcoholic, or on any sort of drugs. This is just who she is. Every single time I'm out of the house I can never truly have fun because I know I have to come back here and I don't want that. I never want to come back here. This is my personal Hell, and it's especially terrible because of the quarantine. I see my friends talking about things with their mothers that I could NEVER talk about with mine and I envy them so much. Honestly, the only thing I've ever learned from my mother is what NOT to do as a parent.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what you're dealing with when it comes to your mom. It's totally understandable that you are frustrated with the way she is treating you. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom and dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS


      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • i'm 15 and i
    don't feel safe at home. i'm constantly being called nasty names at home. being verbally and emotionally abused. i've also been assaulted.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Hi! I am 15 and wondering if I can move out and live with a friend as I don’t like my current home with my mum and stepdad. My stepdad always treats me like ******** and I’m fed up of it he doesn’t like it when I spend time with my own mum and it’s gotten to the point I don’t want to see him again. What rights do I have to move out into my own place down the road

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, and thanks for reaching out to us. According to your IP address you are from the UK. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I'm 15, I'm not necessarily in danger, my mom is frequently emotionally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. we live with her boyfriend that I hate with a passion, he has kicked us out before. but my mom chooses him over me time after time... I have struggled with a lot of depression over the years but my mom just calls me an attention seeker, I really just want out of the situation and I wish I could live on my own however my mom would never give me consent to do so. I don't understand why we have to live with parents till we are 18, they aren't teaching me anything at this point and I can't stand them watching my every move. my mom had me at a young age and I honestly don't think she is or ever was qualified to "make decisions for me" she couldn't even make decisions for herself.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      Any type of abuse in unacceptable and we are sorry you are dealing with that, you do not deserve to be abused in any type of way. You do have a right to make a report and there are a few ways about doing that. One option to consider is calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453 and they would be able to help you in making a report. Another option is you could call us or chat with us and we would be able to help you in making a report. If you are ever in immediate danger please call 911.
      Also you mentioned wanting to leave home, which is understandable. We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. You could consider asking if you could stay with a family member or any of your friends.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to help and provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • I am a 14 year old girl( I will be 15 in August) I have been recently getting verbally abused for maybe 1 year and a half now possibly longer. I hate living in my household. They treat me horribly compared to my younger sibling. I have had multiple thoughts of leaving. My mother has also said a couple times "she doesn't want me living here with her anymore because I am a disappointment". I don't want to mess with my sibling's life, I love him dearly and he is so young, I feel like it would kill him to have his sister that he is will all the time to just not be around anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore... I can't stay here any longer. It seems like every little thing I do they have to shame me and belittle me about it. So can someone pleas help me, I don't know what to do anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS its seems like you have been going through a lot of verbal abuse lately and its making it hard to feel good at home. That’s tough because home should be a place you feel comfortable and safe in. Your parents shouldn’t be treating you like that and putting you down for every little thing. It seems like having a good outlet for your feelings might be helpful. This could be in the form of a hobby, sport, after-school program (when schools resume eventually). Another form might be talking to a therapist or counselor about your feelings. If you want help looking for a counselor, or coming up with ideas for outlets, or just need someone to vent to we are here 24/7 on our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • Hello, I am a fifteenth year old female
    I want to move out living here is emotionally draining. I live with both of my parents growing up in a low income family in a bad neighborhood ive seen death and been around drugs. My mother wants me to be like my siblings they are all much older than me and males yet she wants us all to have the same skills. I am grateful that she has given me skills like cooking and cleaning we used to do it all together but lately with all the homework its been stressful to keep up I do both high-school and college at a special program school for it. I made the mistake of getting suspended and now I am criticized everyday its been a year since this happened I know I made a mistake and Ive learned from it but they can't seem to let it go. Even before this I felt my mother has had me chained down since I am her only female she tells me all my imperfections and everything she dislikes about me, for this reason I acted out I just wanted to have fun for once. She calls me names I feel like I want to hit her till she shuts up so I can tell her everything wrong with her. I have no friends because I am never allowed to hangout people they think I am mean or scary. She doesn't understand that I can't be doing homework and doing chores all day I never get to have fun I just want to have fun and live my life. I never leave unless my bother takes me with him. Then they want me to be happy with the path they choose for me but I want to choose my own. I ran away once before and slept in a slide at the park because I had no friends to stay with, now I have a couple of Friends that would let me stay. She says the door are open and I can leave but I am scared, scared of everything to leave and stay.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We are very sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at home right now. There is a lot of frustration in your words, and we totally respect that. Much of what you describe sounds really unfair. It's good you are opening up about everything you are going through, though. It's healthy for you to express yourself and you have a right to be seen and heard. We'd like to help out further but need a little more information from you to see how to assist. The best way to do that would be if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

      All the best,
      NRS
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