I'm 15 and want to move out

I am 15 and moving in with my friend who lives in my town without telling my parents. What are me legal rights and what can my parents do legally to get me back? Is there anyway around it?

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you for reaching out to the NRS!

We're sorry to hear about your struggles at home. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. We hear you, you should not be treated that way at home by your step dad, your mother, or any other family member. You deserve to be somewhere that makes you feel wanted and safe. You have been very brave to not just make it this far already but also for recognizing that you are not being treated fairly and sharing with us.

You mentioned that you are suicidal -- we take suicide very seriously here at the NRS. If you feel like you are suicidal and a danger to yourself, we highly advise you contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800)-273-8255 or call 911. Additionally, if you feel as though you're going through your mental health issues alone, a great resource is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They have great support groups there with people going through similar issues at https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups.

If you want to pursue filing a child abuse report or just want to learn more about the process, we can help you with that at the NRS if you call 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

You also mentioned that you have experienced sexual assault by a family member. If you would like to talk to someone about your experience or even file a report a great resource to do that is at RAINN. You can learn more at this website https://www.rainn.org and their National Sexual Assault Hotline number is 800.656.HOPE (4673).

Regarding running away or at least getting away from your home, we hear you. It sounds like you’ve been in a very overwhelming environment with you parents and siblings, and it’s understandable why you would want to get away from it all. That said, we still wanted to share some information with you on that matter. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but because you are 15, you are still a minor. It is within your parents' rights to file a missing persons report if you go off the radar, and it is possible that if you stay with another adult that they will be in trouble for harboring you. If a missing persons report is filed, the police will be obligated to release you back into your parent's custody. If you do have your parent's permission to move out, one option is to seek emancipation, which is becoming independent of your parents before you turn 18 -- the process requires you to demonstrate your self-sufficiency (getting a job) and it tends to go faster if your parents are compliant.

That said, if you are still committed to running away, there are a number of other considerations, including the ones you mentioned yourself, that you should keep in mind. One is where you will be staying. Will it be with another family member or perhaps a friend? If you don't have a place to go, there are youth homeless shelters we can help you find if you connect with us over call or chat. However, these locations are not usually long-term. When you find a place to go, do you have a reliable means of transporting yourself there? Also, how do you plan on supporting yourself financially once you leave home? We aren’t here to tell you what to do or what not to do, but we encourage you to continue fleshing out your feelings and plans with people you trust so you can make the most informed decision for yourself.

We wish you all the best and hope you will find these resources helpful. If you have more questions or just want to talk about your situation more with one of our representatives, once again, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

Hi I’m a 15 year old female. This was very hard for me to come to but I’m done I had enough I can’t take it no more I constantly have the urge to run away I’ve talked to multiple people/friends about how I feel and I’ve been trying to plan on how to act on moving out when I was little my dad left me my mom and little sister at 3 years old my mom was a single mom had struggled a lot to take care of us she was abused at a young age and moelested, growing up we lived with are grandma who was and abusive chain smoker and at the age of 13 she told me to rap a chain around my neck and die yes I knew she was Ill but I took it to heart because I was suicidal I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals for many reasons also growing up my mother had a toxic abusive boyfriend we would move in and out of his house one time he beat my mom in front of me and threw her phone at the tv broke both her phone and tv then one time we moved back to grandmas he came to are basement window witch is where we lived at my grandmas and he banged the window told us he had a gun and my mom called the cops and he left but another this is while we were living in my grandmas basement me and my sister lived in this walk in closet it was always so messy but growing up we moved to the upper part of the house but some times my mom wouldn’t be home and my grandma would make starky comments towards me and only me because she had a favorite witch was my sister also I loved my mom a lot I had lots of daddy issues I did see my dad some weekends growing up. When I was 9 I made my first attempt of suicide I ran In front of a moving car I would of died if he didn’t stop on time and reason why I wanted to die was because I was moelested by my cousin on my dads side and abused verbally,mentally and even physically by my grandma, and even my mother she had some rough times with me growing up but the things she did still hit and my grandma she would beat me with her cane, dcfs was involved a few times in my life but I never wanted to be taken away because I had so much love for my mother she took care of me when no one else did this is why it’s so hard for me to let her go but I’ve had enough, she’s ripped the clothes off my back like literally ripped right off and dragged me by my hair, and clothes, she was manipulative and I would always feel like it was my fault and I was a bad kid I always felt bad and guilty only because she made me feel that way she’s spanked me hit me with a brush and with a phone but this was when I was 13-14 once my mother found someone who she wanted to marry who was a Christian man I was excited didn’t really expect much to Change but I was way wrong my mother started taking me to church at 11 or 12 I hated going but she would force me and still forces me to go to church and youth group. Once my mom got in a relationship with this guy we found out about his 5 year old daughter at the time and she was the worse 5 year old in my life u ever meet I had to empathy for her because of all the things she did she touched me in my crouch and grapped it tight I corrected her many times telling her not to do that and when I would tell my parents they would say she’s just 5 and I said when I was 5 i never did that she also grasped my butt and breast witch made me mad and uncomfortable once my mom and her boyfriend got married we moved into this small 3 bedroom house wit h was definitely and upgrade but when the boyfriend and her daughter moved in everything went down hill my little sister didn’t wanna share a room with nobody so I decided to be a bigger person and share a room with the 5 year old because I felt that my family deserved better and shouldn’t have to suffer I always thought that way growing up I always thought how much better they would be without me because I feel like such a big burden. Then when she moved in she would wet and poop in her bed she ended up having 5 utis and we had her every week, over the weekend she would see her mom who would put her in dippers and make the 5 year old misbehave toward us and whenever I would tell the 5 year old not to touch my stuff she wouldn’t care or listen and keep touching and breaking my things, and finally my stepdad/moms boyfriend a few months into being a step dad he thought he was in charge of me and would always take my phone yell and tell me what to do and we had a talk about who puts the rules down witch is my mother because he is not my real parent and yes he does provide for me well he has to but he doesn’t give me respect I always end up getting in trouble because of his daughter one time I was having a bad day and went to my room with a bunch of food because I was stress eating and he came in my room yelling at me because my mom was crying because I told her I didn’t wanna talk because I had a long day and then he verbally and mentally abused me to the point I was shaking couldn’t talk or move I was traumatized crying in my bed because he threw my food again the wall and at the window, my mom was right there as he was cussing me out staying silent because he has her brain washed but when she thought I was gonna get worse because I think she thought what I thought witch was he probably gonna slap me if she didn’t stop him, I ended up running away 3 time living her because of many things like that kept happening and my mom and him would always have big fights and I would get worried that they would end up divorced because of me anyway sorry for telling my whole story but I would Really like to know how to get out I don’t really have a job and I’m working on that but another thing is I don’t wanna have to get take. Away from my family and friends in fact I just wanna move in with my friend but I wouldn’t wanna be a burden on there family I don’t know how I would stay in my school and I wanna be able to do this without my parents telling me and manipulating me to stay I still wanna be able to talk to my mom and my newborn brother and my bio sister but I wouldn’t wanna talk to the stepdad or step sister because I have nothing but hate towards them another thing is I’m worried they would take my phone like they always do they always go threw my stuff I have no privacy my my pick locked the door while I was in the shower or bathroom like 4 times so I feel that I have no privacy and they also threatened to read my text transcripts witch made me made because I am in a relationship and I don’t want them putting they’re opinions and i’m not letting me go to see him ever so I just want some basic steps on how to get out of this please and thank you

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It is really brave of you to reach out for help. It seems like you are feeling isolated from your family and stuck.

We are not legal experts at NRS, but some states do have different laws and rules regarding the age you can legally move out. In order to better help you and figure out how we can help in your specific situation, please reach out to us through chat (www.1800-runaway.org) or phone (1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If you feel like you are not safe where you are, please contact the police right away.

We look forward to hearing from you, and thank you again for reaching out,
NRS

Hello I am 15 yo female I have lived with my great aunt who is my legal guardian for 11 years but now she is trying to keep me away from my other family members and she dose not allow me to talk to them on the phone or nothing she took my phone because i was talking to my mom and my auntie.I really need to move out asap. I turn 16 in less than 1 month,but would like to be with my mom and my auntie and cousins and siblings to have my big sweet 16 with them.

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

Stay Strong,
NRS

I'm wanting to move out once I turn fifteen. I'm fourteen right now, but found out that I cannot legally move out until I'm 18 because I live in utah. I want to move out because I'm afraid for being mocked and verbally put down by my parents words about my wanting to be transgender. My parents are highly religious and do not want me moving forward with this, but I have nowhere else to go. I do not want to be homeless. Help?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided to reach out to us.
It is a hard feeing to not feel wanted in your home and we are sorry you are feeling that way. But leaving may cause more depression and will not make your problems disappear. You may want to consider talking to a school counselor or therapist about what is going on at home. They may be able to provide support and coping skills. Suicide is a very serious matter and it is not bad you feel that way. But we do want you to know you are important and you are worth living. If you are ever feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to please reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. You are not alone in this, there is always someone willing to listen and willing to provide support.
We hope that this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are available 24/7. Best of luck!
NRS

I’m 15 and I want to move out. I don’t feel wanted here. I feel like I’m the problem if I go away it will make everything better. And it’s making me to the point I’m wanting to commit suicide is it bad to feel that way? I feel like I’m leaving in a toxic house.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and we are here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time, we want you to know that you are not alone.

Abuse is never okay and we are sorry to hear that you are dealing with that. You do not deserve to be abused and you do have the right to make a report. There are a few ways that you can go about making a report. One option to consider would be to contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453, and they can help with a report. You can also chat with us or call us any time and we can help you with making a report.

Unfortunately, since we do not know your parents it is hard to say the best way to ask if you could live with someone else. You could try asking when they are in a good mood, and at a good time of day. At NRS we offer conference calling where we can help you have these conversations. How that works if you would need to call us and then we can reach out to your parents.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support!
NRS

My parents got divorced a few months ago and ever since my dad hasn’t been the same. I’m currently living with him and my brother, and my dad is verbally abusive, and my brother, physically abusive. It’s hard being a 15 year old female living in a house with a 50 year old and 17 year old brother. I have a job, in which I work full time, and I depend on my family and friends for rides there, and they treat that like they are my savior and make me act like they are. Im tired of living in a place I feel constantly uncomfortable and neglected. I have bruises all over my body from my brother, and I hardly feel any emotions anymore due to my dad. I have the option of moving in with my mom, but she’s even worse than both of them combined. Im at a loss here. I have many friends who are over 18, and are willing to take me in, but I don’t want to inconvenience them. I also don’t want to deal with the whole process of getting emancipated, and even if I did I would have to wait a year. Sometimes my dad can be very understanding, and my mom can be like that as well, how do I convince them to let me live with someone else, because that seems to be my only option here. I’m afraid they’re gonna say no and then my relationship with them will be worse and my life will be harder.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what you are going through. You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,

NRS

I’m 15 and I get verbally abused every day and I’m sick of it , I barely eat because there’s never any food and I just so tired of this is there anyway I can move out because I’m really so close to just running away and being homeless

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been through so much, and as hard as it has been we are so glad you are still here. You deserve to feel safe and validated in your home.

We are not legal experts, but we do have some general knowledge on runaway laws. The easiest way to leave home without the involvement of CPS or police is with the permission of your parent or guardian. You know best if this is a possibility. Emancipation may be another option. However, not all states offer this service and usually young people have to be 16 or older and able to fully support themselves with a job and school. The emancipation process can be lengthy, so if it is something you would like to explore, now could be a good time. If you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat us through our website, www.1800runaway.org, we may be able to connect you with a local legal expert. The third option we are aware of is abuse reporting. We fully understand this can be an overwhelming option that also takes time. If this is something you would like to explore, you could give us a call or chat to talk through it with you and possibly even help you make a report if you choose to do so.

We understand how isolating it can be to live in a toxic environment. Your life is important, and we are so glad to hear you have friends who would take you in if you have to leave home. Now may be a good time to look towards them for support. It takes a great deal of strength and courage to reach out, and we are so appreciative you decided to turn to us. If you find that you're continuing to have suicidal thoughts, know that you can reach out to us for support, we would be happy to help however we can. Another good option is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, who you can reach by calling 800-273-8255. And of course, if you find yourself in an emergency situation where you need immediate support, please contact your local police department.

Best of luck,
NRS

Im a 14 and I will be 15 in october I need to move out my household is toxic I am not aloud to have any freedom I have been verbally and somewhat physically abused and I feel like killing myself because I don't think I can take 4 more years of living here what is the best and quickest way I can move out into a friends house or get emancipated I don't want to get social services or CPS involved at the moment I just want to figure out what to do then move on from there.