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I'm 15 and want to move out

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  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the national Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we're really glad that you did. There are people that want to listen and help and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy and that your life is valuable. If you want someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

    If there is abuse in the home, you do have the right to report it. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

    If you decide to leave or find yourself in danger, call 911 or you can call us at 1-800-786-2929 and we could help you find a safe place near you. Stay safe, and know that there are people that want to listen and support you.

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and I need to move out I have no place to go no one I can trust or rely on and if I stay with my mom she might kill me or I might kill my self I am coming to the point where I don’t want to fight not anymore I have no other family I have no job I have nothing to be honest I don’t think anyone can help me not even myself it even hurts to try just a little I don’t have any hope no more so I guess this is a good bye letter even if I’m not dead the person I used to be is...

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you for contacting us during such a tough time in your life. You are not weak or pathetic. Being in a psychological or verbally abusive relationship is far more common than anyone would like to think. It is a form of violence. The situation with your mother is definitely not okay. Victims of verbal abuse can often feel like their experiences become a part of them and that those experiences are normal. When people grow up in verbally abusive households they can feel powerless to define another way of thinking about themselves other that through the lens of the person who abuses them. Many people who are in these environments don’t recognize that abuse is happening and believe it is normal. We want to commend you for recognizing that it is not and it shows a great strength of self-preservation and character to reach out for help. You do not deserve this horrible treatment—especially from a person who is supposed to protect you.

    One of the things that most concerned us was your self-harming and suicidal thoughts. We completely understand why you self-harm and are honored that you are willing to share something so personal. We want you to know that you will not always feel this way and the world is a better place with you in it. You matter very much to your friends. If you are told that you are less than by your family please know that you are a beautiful, wonderful person of value and no matter what anyone tells you, you are loved and very soon, we promise you, you will be out of this awful situation. Self-injury can provide much needed relief from emotional turmoil that a person is feeling inside. It conveys words that a person may not be able to say. It’s an attempt to relieve overwhelming feelings of sadness and distress. You are not alone although you may feel extremely alone. It is also very dangerous and can lead to serious consequences. These are resources for you to reach out to that are specifically for people who are contemplating suicide and self-harm. They will be able to provide you with more detailed information and help.

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-8255


    Suicide Forum (if you feel more comfortable online)
    Suicide Forum is a free peer support forum and live chat room - if you feel like you need someone to talk to about suicidal feelings, come and join us.


    To Write Love On Her Arms
    TWLOHA is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.


    Self-Injury Outreach & Support
    SiOS is a portal that provides you resources to help overcome self-injury.


    An option that is available for you to pursue is to call Child Protective Services. Verbal and emotional abuse you experience qualify as something they respond to. If you do want to pursue CPS as an option, it may be good to record your parents saying cruel things to you and then send it to a friend so that they may keep the evidence safe in case one of your family members get ahold of your phone or e-mail. If you call us, we can conference call CPS with you to get the ball rolling. This is another resource if you would like further information on what avenues you could pursue:

    Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)
    1-800-422-4453
    Since 1959 Childhelp has existed to meet the physical, emotional, educational and spiritual needs of abused, neglected and at-risk children.



    We perfectly understand why you wish to move out of your home. Running away is something that you can decide for yourself. Many times running away is a better option if a person is in a terrible situation. It can be safer. No one knows what is better for you but yourself. However, before you make any decision, it is important to know the legal ramifications of running away. Running away is not illegal, but it does constitute a status offense. This does not go on your permanent record, but the Juvenile Justice System may become involved. Your parents will have to file a runaway report with the police for the police to come looking for you. It is important to call you call your local police station to find out the exact laws for your area. We are not legal experts, but runaway laws can differ from state-to-state, from county-to-county. We can also conference call with you to your local station to find them out. You can block your number if you call them if decide to find out the laws. The other runaway law to be aware of is “harboring a runaway.” This is a serious legal offense that applies to anyone over 18 who you stay with—friends, friends’ parents, family members etc. If asked by the police, they will have to surrender you over to the police’s custody. However, this only applies if the police find you. If you call in, we can help you find a local youth shelter in your area if you choose to leave. We understand that there are no family members for you to live with currently, but if you have your legal guardian’s permission you can stay with friends.

    A good resource might be your school. It might be helpful to pursue your school’s counseling services about the abuse you experience. If you have any teachers you like and trust, you may also be able to tell them what is happening at home. Warning: schools and teachers are mandated reporters which means that if you tell them about the abuse they will have to contact CPS.



    Thank you for reaching out to us to get help. This is brave and shows that you, deep down, know that you do not deserve to be treated this way and are fighting for yourself. Continuing to advocate for yourself helps to become your own person, learn to live according to your own values and vision, and you take back control of your life. If you call us, we can discuss your situation and maybe brainstorm some options more specific to your situation. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are open 24/7, 365 days a year.

    Best wishes,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and I want to move out desperately!! For as long as I remember my mom has been calling me names and shouting at me for silly reasons. It’s gotten to the point where I was self harming on and off for around 3 years. I don’t have any family members to live with and I don’t think I can stay here any loner without trying to end my own life again. Please help me, I’m not sure if this is normal and I’m just being weak an pathetic or not.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your mom files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a run away. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your mom, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Best,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm a 15 year old male and I don't live with my dad anymore but I don't want to live with my mum anymore either cause I'm sick and tired of cleaning the house everyday, getting grounded for little things and she keeps delaying me from applying for a job because "she will lies centerlink money" and she said if I am going to get a job I have to help pay for things around the house even though the money that she gets is meant to support me but yeah "glad that happens" is there anyway I can move out and live with a friend or something. Thanks for reading.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, there,
    Thanks so much for reaching out. It can be incredibly difficult to cope with a family that is toxic and it’s great that you’re trying to think about your options. Though we aren’t legal experts, at this point you are still considered a minor and would not be able to leave home without the explicit permission of your legal guardian. So if your guardians are willing to let you live somewhere else, like with a family member or a friend, that could be a great option for you. If you need help talking to your family about this, you might consider having a therapist or guidance counselor mediate. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate conversations with your guardian so that everyone can feel heard.
    Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

    Stay safe!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm a 15 year old female and I'm ready to get out of my mother's house and cut off all my family because they are toxic people. I can not deal with this anymore...im not gonna get into detail but just let me know what I could do without taking it to the law

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    It’s unfortunate to hear you’re having so many issues with your mom, and also to hear that she’s treating you differently because you’re male. We thank you for reaching out to us in this hard time and we hope we can help.

    You mention that you’re having suicidal thoughts. We’re not judging you for having those thoughts. Instead, we want to provide you with some resources and encourage you to reach out to others for help. Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts find it helpful to reach out to others for help. Some say it makes them feel less alone with their problems, and that it helps them keep suicidal thoughts at bay, or that it helps take away some of the burdens of their lives. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk about your home life and suicidal thoughts. We’re open 24/7; we are confidential/anonymous; and we are non-judgmental.

    We definitely understand how this situation may make you frustrated or upset. We are definitely here to listen to your experiences and try to provide you support however we can. Call us if you want to talk or vent about these issues.

    We hope this response was helpful!** We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum.** Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: **https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello I’m a 15 yo male and I’m getting quite sucidal thoughts and many thoughts about running away from my family for many years now my mam has taken a hatred to me. there is nothing that I can do without being told off for it, my mam is very sexist and she hates me and constantly verbally “bullies” me it’s getting really hard to put up with to the point where I don’t even care about being alive anymore I don’t really have many friends as the people I hang around with are pretty much bullies to me and the only thing that gives me a reason to stay is my girlfriend I can’t twlk to anyone in school as I’m extremely scared to be embarrassed I haven’t told anyone in case I’m bullied for it but I don’t want to stay at home any longer as my mam and my sister make everyday life a living hell for me and I don’t think my mam is fit to be a mother

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for posting on our forum today! It sounds like you are going through a very, very tough time with your family right now. We are really sorry to hear that you are being mistreated and abused at home. That’s just not right and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. You do have options and we are here to help.

    While we are not legal experts, we can continue to speak generally on your situation. If you choose to leave home without your parents’ permission, they do have the option of filling a runaway report. Running away is a status offense, meaning it is illegal to do because of your age, but it is not brought to the courts. One thing to consider is that anyone who you are staying with could get in trouble and charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense.

    Additionally, you may want to talk with someone you trust regarding what is going on -- maybe another family member, teacher, counselor, or just a good friend. You need all the support you can get right now. We’re also able to look up legal aid resources in your area. They are experts of the law and could brainstorm other legal routes for you to be able to move out early. If you’d like us to connect you with those resources, give us a call!

    We’d like to help further but we would like more information about your situation. Can you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)? We are totally confidential and anonymous and are here 24/7. We are a safe place to talk. We can help you find a safe place to stay if that’s what you need or we can try to help you figure out what your best options are.

    Phone or chat, we’d love to hear from you. We want to help!

    Good luck,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 15 years, I've gone through many exhaustive years of verbal and psychological abuse. I had my fair share of thoughts about running away but I'm on tight leash here, I have 7 months or so until I'm 16; What can I do to get out of this household as soon as possible without interfering any laws?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is totally understandable to want to move out, as it sounds like you don’t feel safe where you currently live. Because you are a minor, moving out can be a little more difficult. One option is talking to your parents/legal guardians about what is going on, and trying to find a better solution, like another family member to live with if you feel more comfortable there. That can be a difficult conversation, and if you want to pursue something like that feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 anytime. It is also totally understandable if you don’t want to do something like that.

    Another option is to run away. Running away is not illegal but your parents/legal guardians can file something called a runaway report, which means that if the police find you they will bring you home.

    There are lots of other options and if you want to talk about them in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us anytime. We are here 24/7 to listen and to help.

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im 15 and i wanna move out.I don't feel safe at home.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    replied
    RE: I'm 15 and want to move out

    Hello there -

    If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

    Leave a comment:

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