I'm 15 and want to move out

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you’re going through such a rough time at home right now. You absolutely don’t deserve the treatment you’re receiving from your mom.

You mention that she physically mistreats you. If it ever gets to a place where you feel unsafe in your house with your mom, we want you to know that you have the right to keep yourself safe. You can leave the house or call the police.

We’d also like you to know that abuse reporting is an option. It might seem like a scary choice, but it’s another way to possibly keep yourself safe. If you ever want more information on filing an abuse report, please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can walk you through the process so you can figure out if it’s the right option for you.

Another few resources you may want to try are the National Child Abuse Hotline (1800-422-4453) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233). They may be able to help you explore options you haven’t thought of yet.

About talking to your mom about moving out, something you might consider is having a third person present when you talk to her. From what you’re saying, it sounds like she might be onboard with you staying at your friend’s house, but because she can get violent, it might be easier and safer to have that conversation with someone present. Maybe there’s an aunt, uncle, teacher, or coach in your life that you trust who can help with that conversation. Sometimes having another adult in the room can just help keep everyone calm during difficult discussions.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us. It’s not always easy for people to ask for help when they need it, so you’re very brave for doing so. We wish you good luck with everything.

My mom hates me, mentally, and physically mistreats me. I am scared to tell her I am moving out as she might assault me. I don't know what to do. I want to stay at my friends house and she constantly tells me to get out at this point I'm just scared and I don't know what I can do.

[ccsmod6]

Hi and thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear you are dealing with such a challenging situation right now. It seems scary to be living with a mentally and physically abusive father. It must also feel terrible to not have support of your sexuality from your family. It can be difficult to experience rejection in that way and feel forced to have to live in a way you do not want to. You deserve to be treated well and you deserve to be accepted for who you are. With all that is going on in your home, it is understandable that you feel you want to leave. It is also understandable to be afraid. We would want you to be safe and supported. Leaving the home is a big step and sometimes, it feels like the best choice for some people. We would encourage you to have a safe plan if you choose to leave and it may be beneficial to communicate how you are feeling to someone you trust, such as another family member or adult (school counselor, therapist, etc.). You mentioned you would call Child Protection Services and, just so you know, we are able to submit abuse reports for you if you feel you are being abused in any way in your home. You mentioned that you do not have a phone but, if you have access to a computer and would like more information about what that process may look like, please feel free to visit our website to chat with us at 1800ruaway.com. We can talk through that process with you. It may also be beneficial to visit a website called Child Help, which is a national child abuse resource, and that website is childhelp.org. We would want to be a support to you. Please, feel free to contact us at our hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or visit our website to chat at 1800runaway.org at any time. We are here 14/7. Best of luck.

Hi I'm 15 and Nonbinary, my dad is mentally and kinda physically abusive and my family is badly homophobic and I feel unsafe and extremely anxious constantly and I'm forced to go to church where I feel even more uncomfortable, I really really want to move out but I don't have a job and I would call Child protection services but I don't have a phone and even if so I'm afraid of going to foster care and what would happen

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Thank you for sharing what has been going on it takes great courage to share that and we are glad you shared that with us. You do not deserve to be abused and feel unsafe in your home. You can make an abuse report by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. We know that making an abuse report can be scary if you would like you can call us and we can help you make a report. You can also make a report by calling your local police or talking with a teacher or school counselor. We are glad that your friend’s family is supportive and are willing to let you stay with them. We are not legal experts but we will do our best to answer your questions.
Even though your parents are telling you to leave, if you leave without written consent they can still file you as a runaway. If you are filed as a runaway and the police found you if they deemed it safe for you to go back home they would most likely bring you back home. Because there is abuse going on at home they may let you stay at your friends or they may find an alternate living arrangement for you. To apply for school you may need your ID, birth certificate, and social security card. To enroll in school if it is a new school you might need your legal guardian’s permission. To find out about enrolling in school you may want to talk with your school counselor and they would be able to point you in the right direction.
We hope this information has been helpful to you. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck, stay strong you are not alone!
NRS

Hi. I am 15 years old. My parents are extremely abusive, physically and verbally, and I really can't do it anymore. I've been constantly told to die and that if I don't like how they run the house, then to get out. I've decided that they're right and I should just leave the house. My friend and his parents are willing to let me stay in their house as I will share a room with my friend and I can pay for my expenses through tutoring the kids who live in their apartments, as well as babysitting. They said this is not required but I insisted for my own comfort. Also I can help with cooking and cleaning as my parents force me to do that so I'm kind of an expert as well as tutoring and playing with my friend and his brother. They are a very nice family and I know I will like this life much more than the life I have. I met my friend through school and met his parents when I came over to him and some other kids. When I was tutoring him, they noticed scarring on my arm and questioned me. When I told them the truth the told me I could come live with them. I really want to go live with them. I just want to know if this is legal. My parents have been telling me to just leave if I don't like it, but I don't think they thought I would have the courage to. To be honest, I didn't until my friend's parents said that. Also, what should I take with me other than my clothes. What are the important id forms I need? Also, when I apply to school next year, can they be listed as my guardians or am i a runaway? I live in California btw.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through. It sounds like a very stressful situation and it is clear that you are unhappy. In your post you mentioned thinking about cutting so that your family would send you to a treatment facility to get away. We want you to know that you are not alone, we are always here for you and can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. Also, a great resource of when you are feeling that way is NAMI which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness and they can be reached at 1-800-950-6264 or https://www.nami.org/. Another resource is To Write Love on Her Arms and their website is https://twloha.com/.

It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend and your family's reaction to that is unsupportive and upsetting. Wanting to leave home to go to a place that you feel more comfortable, makes sense we are glad that you began thinking of safe options where you can go. Unfortunately since you are under the age of 18 you cannot leave home without your parents’ permission, as they could file a runaway report. This means the police would be out looking for you and would have to take you back home if they found you. It is possible that your friend could also get into trouble for what is called harboring a runaway if your parents decided to pursue legal action against them. A good idea could possibly be to talk to your parents about how you are feeling and see if maybe they can give you permission to go to a family members or friends. Maybe an adult you trust in your family could help mediate that conversation.

Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone. It seems like you’ve got some really great friends that care about you too, which is awesome. Talking to them when things get especially rough could really help you with your stress.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. If you want to talk about things further feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, our hotline is opened 24/7 and one of our liners would be more than happy to talk to you about what you are going through. We wish you the best of luck!

NRS

i (f15) have a girlfriend who is black, we have been together for 6 months, my parents are racist and homophobic, they use racial and homophobic slang around me, and constantly blame me for “ruining the household” there is nothing i want to do more than move out to get away from all of this, ive even thought about cutting so they would send me to a treatment facility so i could get away from them. the whole situation is seriously harming my self esteem, my relationship, and friendships. i have a few places i know i could live that are safe and i would be comfortable in, one being family and two very close friends.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. It might be a good idea to consider finding maybe a school counselor to talk about the things you want to talk about. Maybe finding a support group that makes you feel heard as well. Again finding support might be a huge relief to you since you feel like no one is properly communicating with you but being involved might help you feel heard and loved.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

I am a 15 year old female. I have recently thought about moving out. I love my family, however things are getting really hard and I just need personal space. It feels as if no one understands or wants to hear me out. I relied on self harming as a method of coping with everything, but I am sick off being covered in scratches and bruises I really need my own place where I can be independent.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it sounds really stressful to keep who you really are a secret. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. The LGBT National Hotline could be a resource that can be a source of great support. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can reach them by calling 1-8888-843-4564 or call their youth talkline at 800-246-7743. You can also check out their website at gltbhotline.org.

You mentioned that you self-harm as a way to cope with all the stress that life at home brings. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness by calling them at 800-950-NAMI or by texting NAMI to 741741.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

Hi I’m a 15 year old girl and I can’t stand it at home anymore my family isn’t hurting me or anything but I’m bisexual they don’t know but they are homophobic and religious and because of that I have been cutting myself so I need to get out of my house

[ccsmod6]

Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you're having a tough time at home and it is ok to want to escape from that environment. You deserve to be treated with respect. You have many options that we would be happy to discuss with you in depth over the phone or over chat. If you were to run away, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report with the police. You aren't doing anything illegal but if you were found you would be returned to your parents. You may still be able to go to school, but this would depend on your local police department's policy on runaways. The best way to know would be to contact your local police department through their non emergency line. This can be found through www.USACOPS.com. We would be happy to contact your local police department for you if you give us a call and ask them any questions you have. Thank you again for reaching out and don't hesitate to call us anytime at 1800RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Hello i am 15 and want to run away or move out because my parents get mad at anything i do because i broke my glasses playing basketball and my dad yells at me and says stuff like i am nothing i am worthless when i grow up i am going to live a bad life.I was not trying to break my glasses i love playing basketball and wish to be a NBA player when i get older but each time i do something wrong i get yelled at and he makes my feel bad i still want to go to my school but i just want to live somewhere else with someone else if that is possible please if you can help me please it is like my whole life i hated my self because of how they treat me so like my whole life i felt like i was different or i stand out from everyone

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. You stated that you can’t stand abuse that’s been occurring. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don’t deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You also stated that your parents are homophobic and are threatening you because of it. We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

We know that this can all be overwhelming. If you’d like to go more in-depth about what’s going on, or if you want to explore other options that may be available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on the top of our homepage.

All the best,
NRS