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I'm 15 and want to move out

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  • #16
    I'm 15 years old and don't feel safe/ loved at home I constantly feel scared when at my house. I have a job that pays alright I was thinking of staying with a friend.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. Everyone including you deserves to feel loved and safe at home. We are sorry to hear that it sounds like you might be being mistreated and that you feel scared in your own house. If you feel like you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you feel like the way you’re being treated might be abusive, please do not hesitate to call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Calling does not require you to report, so if you have any questions about the process and what it looks like, feel free to call them and ask.

      We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

      If you would like to talk to us in greater detail about what’s going on at home and what options you might have, please reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #17
    Hi I’m 14 and really feel hated and like I’m not wanted I really want to move with my older cousin but she says I can’t what do I do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. It’s difficult to feel hated and unwanted. You may want to reach out to a school counselor, sometimes talking to someone about your feeling may help you feel better. They may be also to provide ways to cope with what you are going through. Because you are 14 if you were to leave home without your legal guardian’s permission you could be considered as a runaway. We are not legal experts but if the police were to find you they would most likely bring you back home. You could consider asking if you can stay at another family members home, or friends house. We hope this information was helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to discuss your situation further please feel free to give us a call we are here 24/7. We wish you the best of luck in your situation, stay strong!
      NRS

  • #18
    Hi im 15, and in desperate to move out of my home because me and my mum often argue and it gets out of hand and things or things are said and I just can't take it anymore, my friend said I could go and live with her but she'd have to ask her mum but if her mum says no I don't know what else to do, PLEASE HELP!!!

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mother’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mother. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      As far as living with your friend it would help if your mom gave you permission so that there is no trouble with the police. But again know that your mom holds guardianship. Just know that you can always reach out to us.
      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #19
    Hi, i'm 15 and i am really depressed and don't feel comfortable in my country anymore. Also, it's not like i'm being abused or anything, i'm just being put under a lot of pressure, i have thought about moving out of the country, but i don't want my parents to know, i know it's almost inpossible but i need to get out of here. I don't have family abroad and my dream has always been to go to South Korea, can you help me please???

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. Because you are 15 if you were to leave home without your parents’ permission you could be considered as a runaway. Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense, what that means is that if the police found you they would most likely bring you home. It may be hard to go to another country because often times for minors to get into another country they need to be companied by their legal guardian or they need a written permission prom a legal guardian. There are other options for you other than running away. You could consider talking to a school counselor about how you are feeling, sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better. Also you could consider doing hobbies you enjoy to keep your mind off of what is going on at home.
      If you still feel like running away is your best option, your safety is the top concern. You may want to consider what you will do for shelter, and how you will eat. If you need a safe place to stay, you can call us and we can help you look for shelters or a transitional living programs.
      We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more about your situation please feel free to give us a call, we are here 24/7.
      Best of Luck!
      NRS

  • #20
    Hi I'm 15 and I want to move out really badly I just don't like how my family treats me and they do without me and they are probably homophobic they keep on threatening me about it and I can't do anything I just wanna leave I just wanna live with someone else I know I can't stand this abuse anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. You stated that you can’t stand abuse that’s been occurring. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don’t deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      You also stated that your parents are homophobic and are threatening you because of it. We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

      We know that this can all be overwhelming. If you’d like to go more in-depth about what’s going on, or if you want to explore other options that may be available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on the top of our homepage.

      All the best,
      NRS

  • #21
    Hello i am 15 and want to run away or move out because my parents get mad at anything i do because i broke my glasses playing basketball and my dad yells at me and says stuff like i am nothing i am worthless when i grow up i am going to live a bad life.I was not trying to break my glasses i love playing basketball and wish to be a NBA player when i get older but each time i do something wrong i get yelled at and he makes my feel bad i still want to go to my school but i just want to live somewhere else with someone else if that is possible please if you can help me please it is like my whole life i hated my self because of how they treat me so like my whole life i felt like i was different or i stand out from everyone

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you're having a tough time at home and it is ok to want to escape from that environment. You deserve to be treated with respect. You have many options that we would be happy to discuss with you in depth over the phone or over chat. If you were to run away, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report with the police. You aren't doing anything illegal but if you were found you would be returned to your parents. You may still be able to go to school, but this would depend on your local police department's policy on runaways. The best way to know would be to contact your local police department through their non emergency line. This can be found through www.USACOPS.com. We would be happy to contact your local police department for you if you give us a call and ask them any questions you have. Thank you again for reaching out and don't hesitate to call us anytime at 1800RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

  • #22
    Hi I’m a 15 year old girl and I can’t stand it at home anymore my family isn’t hurting me or anything but I’m bisexual they don’t know but they are homophobic and religious and because of that I have been cutting myself so I need to get out of my house

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it sounds really stressful to keep who you really are a secret. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. The LGBT National Hotline could be a resource that can be a source of great support. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can reach them by calling 1-8888-843-4564 or call their youth talkline at 800-246-7743. You can also check out their website at gltbhotline.org.

      You mentioned that you self-harm as a way to cope with all the stress that life at home brings. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness by calling them at 800-950-NAMI or by texting NAMI to 741741.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      All the best,
      NRS

  • #23
    I am a 15 year old female. I have recently thought about moving out. I love my family, however things are getting really hard and I just need personal space. It feels as if no one understands or wants to hear me out. I relied on self harming as a method of coping with everything, but I am sick off being covered in scratches and bruises I really need my own place where I can be independent.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. It might be a good idea to consider finding maybe a school counselor to talk about the things you want to talk about. Maybe finding a support group that makes you feel heard as well. Again finding support might be a huge relief to you since you feel like no one is properly communicating with you but being involved might help you feel heard and loved.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #24
    i (f15) have a girlfriend who is black, we have been together for 6 months, my parents are racist and homophobic, they use racial and homophobic slang around me, and constantly blame me for “ruining the household” there is nothing i want to do more than move out to get away from all of this, ive even thought about cutting so they would send me to a treatment facility so i could get away from them. the whole situation is seriously harming my self esteem, my relationship, and friendships. i have a few places i know i could live that are safe and i would be comfortable in, one being family and two very close friends.
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-02-2019, 01:17 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through. It sounds like a very stressful situation and it is clear that you are unhappy. In your post you mentioned thinking about cutting so that your family would send you to a treatment facility to get away. We want you to know that you are not alone, we are always here for you and can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. Also, a great resource of when you are feeling that way is NAMI which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness and they can be reached at 1-800-950-6264 or https://www.nami.org/. Another resource is To Write Love on Her Arms and their website is https://twloha.com/.

      It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend and your family's reaction to that is unsupportive and upsetting. Wanting to leave home to go to a place that you feel more comfortable, makes sense we are glad that you began thinking of safe options where you can go. Unfortunately since you are under the age of 18 you cannot leave home without your parents’ permission, as they could file a runaway report. This means the police would be out looking for you and would have to take you back home if they found you. It is possible that your friend could also get into trouble for what is called harboring a runaway if your parents decided to pursue legal action against them. A good idea could possibly be to talk to your parents about how you are feeling and see if maybe they can give you permission to go to a family members or friends. Maybe an adult you trust in your family could help mediate that conversation.

      Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone. It seems like you’ve got some really great friends that care about you too, which is awesome. Talking to them when things get especially rough could really help you with your stress.

      Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. If you want to talk about things further feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, our hotline is opened 24/7 and one of our liners would be more than happy to talk to you about what you are going through. We wish you the best of luck!

      NRS

  • #25
    Hi. I am 15 years old. My parents are extremely abusive, physically and verbally, and I really can't do it anymore. I've been constantly told to die and that if I don't like how they run the house, then to get out. I've decided that they're right and I should just leave the house. My friend and his parents are willing to let me stay in their house as I will share a room with my friend and I can pay for my expenses through tutoring the kids who live in their apartments, as well as babysitting. They said this is not required but I insisted for my own comfort. Also I can help with cooking and cleaning as my parents force me to do that so I'm kind of an expert as well as tutoring and playing with my friend and his brother. They are a very nice family and I know I will like this life much more than the life I have. I met my friend through school and met his parents when I came over to him and some other kids. When I was tutoring him, they noticed scarring on my arm and questioned me. When I told them the truth the told me I could come live with them. I really want to go live with them. I just want to know if this is legal. My parents have been telling me to just leave if I don't like it, but I don't think they thought I would have the courage to. To be honest, I didn't until my friend's parents said that. Also, what should I take with me other than my clothes. What are the important id forms I need? Also, when I apply to school next year, can they be listed as my guardians or am i a runaway? I live in California btw.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Thank you for sharing what has been going on it takes great courage to share that and we are glad you shared that with us. You do not deserve to be abused and feel unsafe in your home. You can make an abuse report by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. We know that making an abuse report can be scary if you would like you can call us and we can help you make a report. You can also make a report by calling your local police or talking with a teacher or school counselor. We are glad that your friend’s family is supportive and are willing to let you stay with them. We are not legal experts but we will do our best to answer your questions.
      Even though your parents are telling you to leave, if you leave without written consent they can still file you as a runaway. If you are filed as a runaway and the police found you if they deemed it safe for you to go back home they would most likely bring you back home. Because there is abuse going on at home they may let you stay at your friends or they may find an alternate living arrangement for you. To apply for school you may need your ID, birth certificate, and social security card. To enroll in school if it is a new school you might need your legal guardian’s permission. To find out about enrolling in school you may want to talk with your school counselor and they would be able to point you in the right direction.
      We hope this information has been helpful to you. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck, stay strong you are not alone!
      NRS

  • #26
    Hi I'm 15 and Nonbinary, my dad is mentally and kinda physically abusive and my family is badly homophobic and I feel unsafe and extremely anxious constantly and I'm forced to go to church where I feel even more uncomfortable, I really really want to move out but I don't have a job and I would call Child protection services but I don't have a phone and even if so I'm afraid of going to foster care and what would happen

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi and thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear you are dealing with such a challenging situation right now. It seems scary to be living with a mentally and physically abusive father. It must also feel terrible to not have support of your sexuality from your family. It can be difficult to experience rejection in that way and feel forced to have to live in a way you do not want to. You deserve to be treated well and you deserve to be accepted for who you are. With all that is going on in your home, it is understandable that you feel you want to leave. It is also understandable to be afraid. We would want you to be safe and supported. Leaving the home is a big step and sometimes, it feels like the best choice for some people. We would encourage you to have a safe plan if you choose to leave and it may be beneficial to communicate how you are feeling to someone you trust, such as another family member or adult (school counselor, therapist, etc.). You mentioned you would call Child Protection Services and, just so you know, we are able to submit abuse reports for you if you feel you are being abused in any way in your home. You mentioned that you do not have a phone but, if you have access to a computer and would like more information about what that process may look like, please feel free to visit our website to chat with us at 1800ruaway.com. We can talk through that process with you. It may also be beneficial to visit a website called Child Help, which is a national child abuse resource, and that website is childhelp.org. We would want to be a support to you. Please, feel free to contact us at our hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or visit our website to chat at 1800runaway.org at any time. We are here 14/7. Best of luck.

  • #27
    My mom hates me, mentally, and physically mistreats me. I am scared to tell her I am moving out as she might assault me. I don't know what to do. I want to stay at my friends house and she constantly tells me to get out at this point I'm just scared and I don't know what I can do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you’re going through such a rough time at home right now. You absolutely don’t deserve the treatment you’re receiving from your mom.

      You mention that she physically mistreats you. If it ever gets to a place where you feel unsafe in your house with your mom, we want you to know that you have the right to keep yourself safe. You can leave the house or call the police.

      We’d also like you to know that abuse reporting is an option. It might seem like a scary choice, but it’s another way to possibly keep yourself safe. If you ever want more information on filing an abuse report, please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can walk you through the process so you can figure out if it’s the right option for you.

      Another few resources you may want to try are the National Child Abuse Hotline (1800-422-4453) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233). They may be able to help you explore options you haven’t thought of yet.

      About talking to your mom about moving out, something you might consider is having a third person present when you talk to her. From what you’re saying, it sounds like she might be onboard with you staying at your friend’s house, but because she can get violent, it might be easier and safer to have that conversation with someone present. Maybe there’s an aunt, uncle, teacher, or coach in your life that you trust who can help with that conversation. Sometimes having another adult in the room can just help keep everyone calm during difficult discussions.

      Again, thank you for reaching out to us. It’s not always easy for people to ask for help when they need it, so you’re very brave for doing so. We wish you good luck with everything.

  • #28
    Im 15, turning 16 soon and i want to move out. My parents are verbally ans physically abusive but i dont want to call CPS as it would make it worse. My boyfriends family is willing to let me move in but i dont know how i can go about doing that. Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for telling us your story and reaching out. It can be difficult telling others what has happened to you. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. Even though you don’t want to get CPS involved it could be helpful to get information about your rights and what could happen if you filed a report.If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

      We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. Your boyfriend and his family could potentially get in trouble and get charged with “harboring,” If you parents didn’t give you permission to stay there. You could consider calling your local non-emergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

      If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

      Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us at 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or use our live chat at 1800Runaway.org. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

      Wishing you the best
      -NRS

  • #29
    hello, I'm 15. female, and I've really been thinking about running away for some time now. my parents are verbally abusive and force me to clean the whole house and do their laundry then yell at me for not doing it good enough. they won't even pay me. I have a friend who I can stay with just looking to see if there is a better solution.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thanks so much for reaching out to us. This sounds like a really difficult situation and no one deserves to be abused. It’s really great that you are being active and seeking out solutions to the problem.
      So some things to keep in mind if you do runaway and stay with a friend is that there is the potential for your friend or their parents to get in trouble for harboring a runaway if your parents decide to file a runaway report. In general you will just be brought back with usually no legal repercussions. Some other options to explore are talking it out with your family and see what their viewpoint of the situation is.
      If you want you can file an abuse report with Child Help about the situation. Their number is 1-800-422-4453 and their website is childhelp.org and they will be able to help walk you through the process. If you have any other questions or concerns feel free to call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (621-0394) it is 24/7 and confidential. We are always here to listen and help.

  • #30
    Hi I'm 15 and I want to move out. My family is overprotective, strict and only care about my grades. They always think they are right and never listen to me and my concerns and I don't feel free to talk to them about anything. I have to live by their rules and I just want to become independent and be myself without them choosing who they want their son to be.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS
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