I’ve been verbally abused and my mother takes my sisters side in every argument if my sister says she didn’t do/say something my mother believes her. Today it has gotten to the point where I can’t deal with it anymore. My mother threatens to beat me which is not the worst part I find it hurtful that the only person I could fully trust is someone who doesn’t believe a word I say. I’ve been thinking about suicide for over two years. I want to leave but I feel like I don’t have money to leave or enough time due to school. I have talked to my dad about my mother’s actions he’s talked to her and my mothers response is that she can do whatever she wants. I’m over it. I’m 15 turning 16 soon I want to leave I need advice. I can’t go to other family due to personal reasons. I don’t know what else to do.
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I'm 15 and want to move out
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you have been going through a lot for a long time at home along with school that is also very demanding of you. It must be very frustrating to feel you have no one to support you, but we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to help.
You mentioned your mother is verbally abusive and threatens you physically. Your safety is very important, so if you ever feel unsafe we encourage you to call 9-11. Childhelp is another resource for you that can assist you in reporting abuse and they can be reached out at childhelp.org.
You also mentioned that you think about suicide and we thank you for your honesty and openness. In addition to us here at NRS, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is here to help and can be reached at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Sometimes talking things out will bring about solutions you haven’t yet thought about, but your life is very valuable and you deserve to be heard.
At NRS we can help by providing supportive resources, shelter information, or to listen. We also provide a conference calling service if you ever want to talk with your mom about how your feeling, but feel scared to do so alone. Either way, we can be reached on the phone at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us live at 1800RUNAWAY.org. We hope to hear from you.
Stay safe and strong,
NRS
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you have been going through a lot for a long time at home along with school that is also very demanding of you. It must be very frustrating to feel you have no one to support you, but we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to help.
You mentioned your mother is verbally abusive and threatens you physically. Your safety is very important, so if you ever feel unsafe we encourage you to call 9-11. Childhelp is another resource for you that can assist you in reporting abuse and they can be reached out at childhelp.org.
You also mentioned that you think about suicide and we thank you for your honesty and openness. In addition to us here at NRS, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is here to help and can be reached at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Sometimes talking things out will bring about solutions you haven’t yet thought about, but your life is very valuable and you deserve to be heard.
At NRS we can help by providing supportive resources, shelter information, or to listen. We also provide a conference calling service if you ever want to talk with your mom about how your feeling, but feel scared to do so alone. Either way, we can be reached on the phone at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us live at 1800RUNAWAY.org. We hope to hear from you.
Stay safe and strong,
NRS
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hello. im 15 and i dont want to live with my mother anymore. i only have 1 parent and i have over 10 brothers and sisters. my mum clearly cant cope with all of us and i have been told that i have been neglected by her. she has done many things she shouldnt have that are unforgivable such as release information about me without talking to me. i have a family who my school and my entire family know very well and they said they want to take me on living in their house. they are able to do this financially. i already spend most my time there but i want to make it official. this family spends s much more time with me than my own. they do simple things that mean alot like asking me about my day, cheaking on my mental health, they take me out to places like cinemas and shopping.
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Hi there,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like things at home have gotten overwhelming and you are feeling neglected by your mother. It is understandable you would want to move out and live in a stress-free environment. It must be tough to live with so many siblings under one roof and to not be getting the support from your parent that you deserve. You deserve to feel heard and cared for.
From what you shared, it seems that you are already spending most of your time with this other family rather than at home, but you want this arrangement to be more permanent. The easiest way to go about this would be with your mom's permission. Perhaps you can speak to the adult in this family about wanting this and they can help you to talk it over with your mom. Sometimes having an adult to advocate for you can make it easier to have these tough conversations with parents. Having a safe place to talk through your needs can also help you brainstorm other possible options.
We truly want to be a support for you during this challenging situation. If you would like to talk more about and explore all of your possible options, please don't hesitate to contact us directly. We are available for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.
Stay safe and good luck,
NRS
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hi . i am fifteen years old. on almost an everyday basis i deal with some sort of verbal abuse from my parents. and it is affecting me mentally . it has been physical before , but not very recently . anyways , getting through the days here are hard . im constantly reminded that everything wrong that happens is because of me . and god forbid i make a mistake , the whole house gets turned upside down . my phone has been smashed , ive been screamed that i only care about myself when all i do is try and keep everyone happy ;. i try to act like it doesnt bother me , but eventually i just cant hold it in any more. i turn sixteen in four months , but i dont know if i will be able to make it until then . my mental health and self esteem is crumbling . my relationships with everyone are being ruined . i dont know what to do .
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you're in a difficult and exhausting position and it can be hard to decide what your next steps will be. We aren't sure if you are speaking literally about "blowing your head off". If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Stay safe,
NRS
We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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HI im 15 years of age I really want to escape my house my gaurdians abuse me verbally and will leave me alone in the house for weeks to months. And while there gone my cousins abuse me I just want to be safe I tried talking to my gaurdians about it but they won't listen please help. thankyou.
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Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are being treated in such an awful way. No one deserves to face abuse of any kind especially in their own home. It makes sense that you want to live in an environment that you feel safe in.
Something that you may want to consider is filing an abuse report. Emotional and verbal abuse are real forms of abuse and can be reported. Additionally, it could be considered neglect, a form of abuse, that your guardians leave you alone in the house for weeks to months. If you want to know more about what reporting might look like and what the consequences could be, please reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. They are a great resource for understanding what it would mean to file an abuse report.
In terms of running away, we would be happy to have an in depth conversation with you about what that might look like and how to go about doing it safely. We have a database of youth resources such as runaway youth shelters that we would be happy to look through on your behalf. If you want to talk more about leaving home and what options are available to you, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.
Take care,
NRS
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i am 15 and i don’t feel safe at home. i constantly get yelled at and called names by my father for doing simple things in a different way then he likes or just in general. he yells and i don’t usually let him see that it gets to me and i’ve gotten used to the names he calls me but when i snap and finally give in and cry he says he will give me a reason to cry. i don’t wanna be in this house or near him any longer. i don’t know how to tell my mom how i feel because i feel as though she is afraid of him too.
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really hard situation at home with your Dad, and you have come to the right place to talk about it. We are here to help in whatever way we can.
It sounds like Dad is causing you a lot of grief at home. Being called names and being yelled at are tough things to endure day after day. That you cannot be vulnerable and cry without being threatened by Dad is definitely a problem: You should not have to endure that kind of treatment. It sounds like sometimes Dad makes you feel unsafe. If things at home ever get really bad, you can always reach out to us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by instant message at 100runaway.org. We can help walk you through ways to stay safe and comfortable.
You mention not wanting to be in your home any longer. This is a natural feeling when you are not being treated well by a parent. Running away is always possible, but there are some major things to think about, like where you will go, how you will get there, and what you will do once there. Talking to Mom about this, even if difficult, will help, as getting a parent’s consent and involvement can ensure that police do not become involved. It sounds like Mom may be an ally, and may even have some other ideas for you.
You are clearly going through a lot, and you are thinking through your options, which is mature and shows that you want a better life. We hope that things at home become easier, but if they don’t, or if you’re ever having a particularly bad day, we will be here to listen and to help.
Please stay safe and strong out there.
Sincerely,
NRS
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im 15, my father constantly has breakdowns and emotionally abuses me. im tired and want to leave. what should i do?
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Hi there,
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. No one deserves to be emotionally abused by a parent who is supposed to love and care for them. We recognize it takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and we really appreciate you reaching out to us.
Here at NRS, we are not legal experts, but we do have some general knowledge on running away. Leaving home before you are 18 is not illegal. However, parents and guardians are expected to file runaway reports with the police. This means that the police could be made aware of you, and if you were to come into their custody they could possibly return you home. By no means do we share this information with you to keep you from leaving home, but we hope that it can help you make the best and most informed decision for yourself.
Parents and guardians are allowed to give consent for youth to stay with friends or relatives. You definitely know your dad best, so it could be a good idea to consider if this were an option. Another idea could be to talk through your plans for leaving with a trusted adult, relative, or friend. If you feel like you don't have those kinds of support in your life, please do not hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or live chat with us through our website. We would be happy to help discuss your situation and plan with you. Some things to consider when leaving home could be where you would go, how you could stay safe, ways to support yourself, what school would look like if you weren't home, etc. We want to help you make sure you make decisions that you are comfortable with and feel safe in.
While you seem to be going through a particularly tough time with your dad, it seems like you are taking time to consider your options. You know your father and your situation best, and we hope this information helped you as you are navigating these trying times in your life. We hope you know that you are not alone, and we are here to support you in any way that we can. We are open 24/7 and we are completely confidential, please reach out to us at any time.
Best of luck and stay safe,
NRS
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Hi there,
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. NRS is a safe and confidential space for young people to receive support and resources. We are a non-directive and non-judgmental space for you talk through your situation and explore your options. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.
Our email and Bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and receive immediate help, we encourage you to reach out to us through our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button on our website homepage).
We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help,
NRS
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I will be 15 soon and it’s like what ever I do isn’t good enough for my parents. They tell me they love me but they don’t show it. What can I do to tell them to back off.
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like they have unreasonable expectations for you and it sounds exhausting to try to meet them. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Stay safe,
NRS
We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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I want to move out I’m 15
my dad is very verbally and physically abusive I want to move out but I’m scared I don’t want to go somewhere where there’s bad kids or gang related kids I just want to go somewhere near my home to check up on my mother could you guys help me I want to move out my home I don’t have much I have a syep job but that about it and some clothes ig can you guys help me move out ?
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like thee are some complicated family dynamics at play and it must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.
You mentioned that your dad is both verbally and physically abusive and it raises concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options (like youth shelters or transitional housing programs) that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Stay safe,
NRS
We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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Im 15 and 2 years ago my dad had a stroke which ended up in me living with my sister and for the past 2 years and we fight alot over simple things like listening to music on my headphones to go to sleep and i want to move in with my brother is this possible
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Hi there,
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Best of luck with everything!
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Hello I'm 15 years old and turning 16 in 4 months I've been living with a narcissistic, verbally,emotionally and psychologically abusive mother for 15 years straight now I just had the cops called on me for my mom pushing me into the bathroom door and holding me there and talking aggressively through her teeth in my face at me my mom has tried to charge me to the ground and force me to fight her and the cops are on her side and because she lies to the cops my life is nearly ********ed I'm gonna end up in jail soon my mom is ********ing crazy I need help my mom wants me to move out too because she's "tired" of me even though I don't say anything until she says something to me all it is I do is stand my ground I don't look for trouble like she tells all of her friends I'm done with the retarded bull******** I need a job I need to leave now and start my life now or else I'm gonna be in jail because she's a story teller
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Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been experiencing sounds terrible. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your mom. It’s not your fault that she behaves this way. It sounds emotionally and physically abusive. And to make matters even more difficult it sounds like the police are not taking your accounts of what’s happening into consideration.
Your feelings are important and they matter.
You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.
You have the right to file an abuse report with child protective services since you have not had police cooperation. If you would like to make a report for child abuse contact Child Help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org
This organization helps protect minors from being harmed. Once a report is on file an investigation to the allegations usually follows. It may allow options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Take care,
NRS
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I am 15 and moving out of my moms house because she is abusive. I'm moving in with my dad but she's telling me that I can't take any of my clothes or my things, can she do that or can I call the police?
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Hello,
Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things have been so challenging at home with your mom. No one has the right to abuse you, and you deserve to live in a space where you feel safe. It sounds like your dad has been a great source of support for you and offered an alternative place for you to live, but you’re concerned about your belongings. We’re not legal experts, so it’s hard for us to say with certainty whether you’d be able to take anything your mom may have purchased for you while you were living with her.
One option might be to ask your dad if he can help you discuss the matter with your mom, since it sounds like you’d be moving in with him. Another option would be to reach out to your local police at their non-emergency number. They may be able to let you know what you can do about your belongings if you’re hoping to take them with you. If you do not know how to reach them, please feel free to give us a call. We can look up that information, as well as explore whether there are other resources in your area that may be helpful.
Whatever you decide, please know that we are here to support you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we’ll do our best to help you stay safe regardless of your next steps. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
-NRS
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I'm 15 years old, lesbian and non binary. My dad is homophobic (and a bit racist) and he and my mom constantly gaslight me. When they yell they wanna kick me out, or when they found out I was struggling with self harm they yelled at me about how difficult it was for them, and took away everything that makes me happy. When I came out to my dad as lesbian he yelled at me for 10 minutes. I'm too scared to tell them I'm non binary because my dad would loose it and my mom would be "supportive" but think I'm faking it. My therapist and other trusted adults all have advised I avoid home as much as possible. I have a part time job, I'm saving up but I have no idea how to get away. I stay at friends houses all the time because when I'm home I feel so mentally unsafe with myself and cause of my parents. I'm in Missouri, help please?
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Hi there,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. You mentioned a few things that raise some concern for your safety at home. You do not deserve to be yelled at or threatened in any way. It is not okay for your parents to punish you for speaking up about self-harming. You deserve to feel supported and get the help that you need. We want you to know that you are not alone in this. We can help you think through your options, come up with a plan and provide any necessary resources.
It sounds like you have been thinking about leaving home. Because your parents are your legal guardians, they do have some control in where you live unfortunately. The first way to leave would be with their permission. We understand that approaching this conversation can be really difficult and not always possible. Perhaps your therapist or another trusted adult can help you talk with your parents about your needs. Another way would be to go through child protective services if your safety is a concern. Lastly, you could pursue emancipation, but it can be a lengthy and difficult process. Most states have a minimum age of 16 to petition and they require that you can live independently and financially support yourself. We are happy to connect you with legal aid resources if you are interested in this.
If you decide to leave home without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. This is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This basically means that your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying.
We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Additionally, The Trevor Project is a crisis line specifically for LGBTQ youth. This can also be a helpful resource to find support during this difficult time, www.thetrevorproject.org. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
-NRSLast edited by ccsmod13; 09-15-2020, 10:56 PM.
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This is for a friend she is 15 and lives with her dad stepmom and 6 year old brother I’m 13 and I live with my mom dad and sister me and my friend have been texting and talking on the phone for awhile and she is always talking about how horrible her stepmom is her stepmom has: called her overweight, yelled at her for something she didn’t do, called her names, she got a cat that caused my friend to have an allergic reaction even though she knew it would happen and instead of getting rid of it got one more. And then she said that she can’t even ask if she can live with me because she gets yelled at for seriously everything like that cat went missing today and her stepmom bathed into her room and yelled at her for it but it turns out it wasn’t even with her (she never gets mad at my friends brother because it’s her biological son) and then apparently her dad gets drunk a lot and even hit her once and my friend lived with her grandparents for like a month but her stepmom made her come back. And when she is in family therapy her stepmom acts all nice and innocent. So basically me and my family want her to come live with us we have lots of space we just don’t know how to do this because we are pretty sure the stepmom won’t give us permission and her dad is too afraid to do anything and the stepmom works for child services which is stupid as hell anyway I was wondering if there is a way we can bring her into our home or adopt her or foster her or maybe have her emancipated I think I said that right I think I know what I’m talking about we are willing to try anything
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to live with you and your family. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
It sounds like you are interested in emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.
Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
Take care,
NRS
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