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  • I'm 15 and want to move out

    Hi, I'm a 15 year old male and I seriously want to move out. I am constantly verbally abused by my parents for being too "feminine". Also, they are extremely homophobic and religious. Is there anyway that I can move out and live with a friend or rent out my own apartment?

  • #2
    RE: I'm 15 and want to move out

    Hello there -

    If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Im 15 and i wanna move out.I don't feel safe at home.

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is totally understandable to want to move out, as it sounds like you don’t feel safe where you currently live. Because you are a minor, moving out can be a little more difficult. One option is talking to your parents/legal guardians about what is going on, and trying to find a better solution, like another family member to live with if you feel more comfortable there. That can be a difficult conversation, and if you want to pursue something like that feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 anytime. It is also totally understandable if you don’t want to do something like that.

        Another option is to run away. Running away is not illegal but your parents/legal guardians can file something called a runaway report, which means that if the police find you they will bring you home.

        There are lots of other options and if you want to talk about them in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us anytime. We are here 24/7 to listen and to help.

        NRS

    • #4
      I'm 15 years, I've gone through many exhaustive years of verbal and psychological abuse. I had my fair share of thoughts about running away but I'm on tight leash here, I have 7 months or so until I'm 16; What can I do to get out of this household as soon as possible without interfering any laws?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thank you for posting on our forum today! It sounds like you are going through a very, very tough time with your family right now. We are really sorry to hear that you are being mistreated and abused at home. That’s just not right and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. You do have options and we are here to help.

        While we are not legal experts, we can continue to speak generally on your situation. If you choose to leave home without your parents’ permission, they do have the option of filling a runaway report. Running away is a status offense, meaning it is illegal to do because of your age, but it is not brought to the courts. One thing to consider is that anyone who you are staying with could get in trouble and charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense.

        Additionally, you may want to talk with someone you trust regarding what is going on -- maybe another family member, teacher, counselor, or just a good friend. You need all the support you can get right now. We’re also able to look up legal aid resources in your area. They are experts of the law and could brainstorm other legal routes for you to be able to move out early. If you’d like us to connect you with those resources, give us a call!

        We’d like to help further but we would like more information about your situation. Can you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)? We are totally confidential and anonymous and are here 24/7. We are a safe place to talk. We can help you find a safe place to stay if that’s what you need or we can try to help you figure out what your best options are.

        Phone or chat, we’d love to hear from you. We want to help!

        Good luck,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #5
      Hello I’m a 15 yo male and I’m getting quite sucidal thoughts and many thoughts about running away from my family for many years now my mam has taken a hatred to me. there is nothing that I can do without being told off for it, my mam is very sexist and she hates me and constantly verbally “bullies” me it’s getting really hard to put up with to the point where I don’t even care about being alive anymore I don’t really have many friends as the people I hang around with are pretty much bullies to me and the only thing that gives me a reason to stay is my girlfriend I can’t twlk to anyone in school as I’m extremely scared to be embarrassed I haven’t told anyone in case I’m bullied for it but I don’t want to stay at home any longer as my mam and my sister make everyday life a living hell for me and I don’t think my mam is fit to be a mother

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        It’s unfortunate to hear you’re having so many issues with your mom, and also to hear that she’s treating you differently because you’re male. We thank you for reaching out to us in this hard time and we hope we can help.

        You mention that you’re having suicidal thoughts. We’re not judging you for having those thoughts. Instead, we want to provide you with some resources and encourage you to reach out to others for help. Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts find it helpful to reach out to others for help. Some say it makes them feel less alone with their problems, and that it helps them keep suicidal thoughts at bay, or that it helps take away some of the burdens of their lives. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk about your home life and suicidal thoughts. We’re open 24/7; we are confidential/anonymous; and we are non-judgmental.

        We definitely understand how this situation may make you frustrated or upset. We are definitely here to listen to your experiences and try to provide you support however we can. Call us if you want to talk or vent about these issues.

        We hope this response was helpful!** We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum.** Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: **https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #6
      I'm a 15 year old female and I'm ready to get out of my mother's house and cut off all my family because they are toxic people. I can not deal with this anymore...im not gonna get into detail but just let me know what I could do without taking it to the law

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, there,
        Thanks so much for reaching out. It can be incredibly difficult to cope with a family that is toxic and it’s great that you’re trying to think about your options. Though we aren’t legal experts, at this point you are still considered a minor and would not be able to leave home without the explicit permission of your legal guardian. So if your guardians are willing to let you live somewhere else, like with a family member or a friend, that could be a great option for you. If you need help talking to your family about this, you might consider having a therapist or guidance counselor mediate. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate conversations with your guardian so that everyone can feel heard.
        Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
        Stay safe!

    • #7
      Hi I'm a 15 year old male and I don't live with my dad anymore but I don't want to live with my mum anymore either cause I'm sick and tired of cleaning the house everyday, getting grounded for little things and she keeps delaying me from applying for a job because "she will lies centerlink money" and she said if I am going to get a job I have to help pay for things around the house even though the money that she gets is meant to support me but yeah "glad that happens" is there anyway I can move out and live with a friend or something. Thanks for reading.

      Comment


      • #8
        Hi there,

        Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

        We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your mom files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a run away. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your mom, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        Best,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #9
          I’m 15 and I want to move out desperately!! For as long as I remember my mom has been calling me names and shouting at me for silly reasons. It’s gotten to the point where I was self harming on and off for around 3 years. I don’t have any family members to live with and I don’t think I can stay here any loner without trying to end my own life again. Please help me, I’m not sure if this is normal and I’m just being weak an pathetic or not.

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thank you for contacting us during such a tough time in your life. You are not weak or pathetic. Being in a psychological or verbally abusive relationship is far more common than anyone would like to think. It is a form of violence. The situation with your mother is definitely not okay. Victims of verbal abuse can often feel like their experiences become a part of them and that those experiences are normal. When people grow up in verbally abusive households they can feel powerless to define another way of thinking about themselves other that through the lens of the person who abuses them. Many people who are in these environments don’t recognize that abuse is happening and believe it is normal. We want to commend you for recognizing that it is not and it shows a great strength of self-preservation and character to reach out for help. You do not deserve this horrible treatment—especially from a person who is supposed to protect you.

            One of the things that most concerned us was your self-harming and suicidal thoughts. We completely understand why you self-harm and are honored that you are willing to share something so personal. We want you to know that you will not always feel this way and the world is a better place with you in it. You matter very much to your friends. If you are told that you are less than by your family please know that you are a beautiful, wonderful person of value and no matter what anyone tells you, you are loved and very soon, we promise you, you will be out of this awful situation. Self-injury can provide much needed relief from emotional turmoil that a person is feeling inside. It conveys words that a person may not be able to say. It’s an attempt to relieve overwhelming feelings of sadness and distress. You are not alone although you may feel extremely alone. It is also very dangerous and can lead to serious consequences. These are resources for you to reach out to that are specifically for people who are contemplating suicide and self-harm. They will be able to provide you with more detailed information and help.

            National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
            1-800-273-8255
            www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

            Suicide Forum (if you feel more comfortable online)
            https://www.suicideforum.com/

            To Write Love On Her Arms
            www.twloha.com

            Self-Injury Outreach & Support
            www.sioutreach.org

            An option that is available for you to pursue is to call Child Protective Services. Verbal and emotional abuse you experience qualify as something they respond to. If you do want to pursue CPS as an option, it may be good to record your parents saying cruel things to you and then send it to a friend so that they may keep the evidence safe in case one of your family members get ahold of your phone or e-mail. If you call us, we can conference call CPS with you to get the ball rolling. This is another resource if you would like further information on what avenues you could pursue:

            Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)
            1-800-422-4453
            www.childhelp.org


            We perfectly understand why you wish to move out of your home. Running away is something that you can decide for yourself. Many times running away is a better option if a person is in a terrible situation. It can be safer. No one knows what is better for you but yourself. However, before you make any decision, it is important to know the legal ramifications of running away. Running away is not illegal, but it does constitute a status offense. This does not go on your permanent record, but the Juvenile Justice System may become involved. Your parents will have to file a runaway report with the police for the police to come looking for you. It is important to call you call your local police station to find out the exact laws for your area. We are not legal experts, but runaway laws can differ from state-to-state, from county-to-county. We can also conference call with you to your local station to find them out. You can block your number if you call them if decide to find out the laws. The other runaway law to be aware of is “harboring a runaway.” This is a serious legal offense that applies to anyone over 18 who you stay with—friends, friends’ parents, family members etc. If asked by the police, they will have to surrender you over to the police’s custody. However, this only applies if the police find you. If you call in, we can help you find a local youth shelter in your area if you choose to leave. We understand that there are no family members for you to live with currently, but if you have your legal guardian’s permission you can stay with friends.

            A good resource might be your school. It might be helpful to pursue your school’s counseling services about the abuse you experience. If you have any teachers you like and trust, you may also be able to tell them what is happening at home. Warning: schools and teachers are mandated reporters which means that if you tell them about the abuse they will have to contact CPS.



            Thank you for reaching out to us to get help. This is brave and shows that you, deep down, know that you do not deserve to be treated this way and are fighting for yourself. Continuing to advocate for yourself helps to become your own person, learn to live according to your own values and vision, and you take back control of your life. If you call us, we can discuss your situation and maybe brainstorm some options more specific to your situation. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are open 24/7, 365 days a year.

            Best wishes,

            NRS

        • #10
          I’m 15 and I need to move out I have no place to go no one I can trust or rely on and if I stay with my mom she might kill me or I might kill my self I am coming to the point where I don’t want to fight not anymore I have no other family I have no job I have nothing to be honest I don’t think anyone can help me not even myself it even hurts to try just a little I don’t have any hope no more so I guess this is a good bye letter even if I’m not dead the person I used to be is...

          Comment


          • #11
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the national Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we're really glad that you did. There are people that want to listen and help and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy and that your life is valuable. If you want someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

            If there is abuse in the home, you do have the right to report it. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

            If you decide to leave or find yourself in danger, call 911 or you can call us at 1-800-786-2929 and we could help you find a safe place near you. Stay safe, and know that there are people that want to listen and support you.

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #12
              I’m 15 and I want to move out. My dad has custody but he is barely around. Currently, he wants me to move in with my sister and she can has major anger issues and I feel like it could be a problem. What can I do?

              Comment


              • ccsmod0
                ccsmod0 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello,
                It was brave of you to reach out today. It sounds like your dad wants you to live with your sister but you are concerned because she has anger issues. It could be a good idea to talk to your dad about the concerns that you have about living with your sister. He might not be aware of her behavior. Perhaps you can consider using our conference calling service, this is a service where you would call us and we would hold a conference call between you and your dad to talk about how both sides are feeling. We would serve as mediators, we are not here to necessarily choose sides but rather help come up with a solution that would make the situation at home better. If you feel like this is a service that you would find useful you can give us a call and one of our trained liner will be happy to assist you.
                We hope you think over your options and if you need anything from us please let us know. 1-800-786-2929
                Best wishes,
                NRS

            • #13
              I'm 15 and have lived through physical and verbal abuse (the physical has toned down) but I'm constantly arguing with my parents and my dad lives with his girlfriend and she's horrible to me and so are her kids and my dad always takes her side on everything and they think I'm an AWFUL person and they call me a slut and stuff so I can't live there. (I hadn't even done anything at the time that they were calling me those things) And me and my mom NON STOP argue. Is there any way that I can go live with my friend? Foster care scares me because I don't want to have to leave my school. That would put too much stress on me. I don't want to start all over, I like all of my friends and stuff but my family situation just isn't working out. . . I have siblings but they couldn't support me. And I've started sluffing school again because my stress level is extremely high and I don't know if I can handle going back... And I have depression and anxiety so I don't even think a foster family would want me. But my friends dad said that if I need to, that I can move in with them.

              Comment


              • ccsmod3
                ccsmod3 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello-
                Thanks so much for reaching out to us here at NRS! We value your story and want you to know we are here to help. Moreover we want to applaud your courage to reach out and seek help. It takes a lot to seek out resources.
                After reading your story one of the initial responses we want to give you is that you do not deserve to be treated poorly. It seems like this has been going on a while and with all this in mind, we can understand why you feel it is necessary to head over to your friend’s house. Though we are not legal professionals in heading over to your friend’s house there are a couple scenarios that could play out. One scenarios is that because you are 15 you are therefore considered a minor and your parents have the right to file a runaway report. In this case if you run into police there is no serious offense. You simply would be picked up and taken back to your parent’s residence. If you were to be found at a friend’s house again there could be some possible jail time/fines. Your other option would be to report your situation to the proper authorities in which case they would do everything in their power to keep you in familial custody before considering foster care. A good resource to explore would the National Child Abuse Hotline by phone or website (800-422-4453; childhelp.org). This would also help bring awareness to your situation. A third option might be to possibly talk to your folks about giving you written consent about staying at your friend’s house or perhaps a close family member that you feel safe and loved by. The police would be able to provide you with the proper paperwork for that. We also offer conference calls if you would like to have someone talk with you and your parents to discuss about the situation going on at home. We would be on the line with you and your parent to discuss further options.
                Again we want thank you for being so courageous and reaching out. It is our hope that we can get you to a place where you feel supported and loved. If you have any more questions about anything discussed above know that we are here for you 24/7 and we are confidential. If this is the case we would love to help over the phone or the chat option on our website (1-800-786-2929; https://www.1800runaway.org/). We also offer conference calls if you would like to have someone talk

            • #14
              hello,I'm 15 years old. when i was younger i had to move in with my grandparents because my dad passed and my mom couldn't take care of me at the time. well know that i'm older my grandma and i get into really heated fights all the time. they are constantly "my fault" they get worse and worse each time. I've been wanting to get out of this house for so long but there was no way i could. she wont let me go back and live with my mom even tho now she has her own house and everything. its been 11 years since she had custody of me and i cant do it anymore.

              Comment


              • ccsmod10
                ccsmod10 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

                We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need.

                We’re so sorry to hear about your dad’s passing, you’ve been through a lot. It sounds like your home life with your grandparents is taking a toll on your mental health. You are self-awareness is great and shows how strong you are. If you ever want to try to talk to your grandmother about letting you live with your mom again, we offer conference calling services between youth and guardians. We're here if you need our help calling and talking to her about how you’re feeling in the home. You do deserve all the opportunities for happiness. You’re never alone and we are always here to just talk if you need to get those negative thoughts out of your head. Talking to a school counselor could also help you, as far as getting support at school. We also can look up legal aid resources in your area. They’re lawyers who help youth for free and could possibly find ways to get your custody transferred back to your mom

                We’re here if you’d like to talk more about your situation. Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

                Be well, NRS

            • #15
              I'm 15 and ready to move out of my parents house everything has just become worse and it's getting to the point where I cant stand it anymore I dont know what to do and I'm ready to leave what should I do

              Comment


              • ccsmod11
                ccsmod11 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

                We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Best, NRS
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