Can't continue

[Guest]

I am 65 years old and have been keeping foster kids for several years. I have one who is disabled and has been with me now for 8 years. He is 22 and will be with me for the rest of my life as he has no family who wants him. I also have one who aged out of custody last May, is now 19 but is still with me as he also has no family and know where to go. We live in a very rural area of W. Tennessee and there are no jobs. Since he was a foster child he also does not know how to drive. I don't know what to do. I can't continue to keep him and there is no place for him to go. The Department of Children Services tells me that there is nothing that they can do to help, even though this boy was a ward of their's since he was very little. They terminated his parents rights and now he has no where to go. Do you have any suggestions? I hate to have to just dump him out on the street but I am disabled, have a very linited income and already have one to support.

[ccsmod8]

Re: Can't continue

Hello,

Thank you taking the time to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard and we hope that you continue to reach out for future support. We applaud you for your sincere commitment for sticking with your foster kids throughout the good and not so good times. It sounds like life has gotten a bit more interesting for the 22 year old in your life with the limited resources to work with. We imagine it is not easy for him to be without other family. We empathize with how hard it is to get help under these circumstances and wish that things start looking up soon. How do you feel about him being with you for the rest of your life? Are they able of becoming their own vendors to transition to independent living? Have you been in touch with their caseworkers to look into getting each of them services beyond that age since they have a disability? What sort of disability does the 22 year old have? Is it a learning disability or something more medical?

We imagine that it is even harder to get access to large amounts of resources in the rural areas and jobs are hard to come by these days with the economy as well. Can someone else in your family teach each of them how to drive? What are the benefits of learning how to drive? Do you think it is going to be too hard to teach them now? How close are you to a larger city? Do you have ways to finding out what sort of jobs that are available elsewhere? Have you sought out info in local papers and do you have access to the internet? We recognize that it can be difficult especially when you do not know what to do. Have you thought about giving us a call at our toll free 1800RUNAWAY number for some real live support? All of our liners are trained the same way and we really want to hear from you. We can provide a listening ear and help out with resources.

One resource we want to bring to your attention is Job Corps. Have you thought about whether your foster children can maintain alone? If they are able to, are you up to calling Job Corps to see about this as an option? Their hotline number is 1-800-733-5627 and website is http://www.jobcorps.org. They are available 24 hours and provide for residential G.E.D, job skills training in 100 trades for ages 16-24, housing, meals and training free of charge. We hope that this info can point you in the right direction. Please let us know how else we can help and we wish you the best. Good luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Can't continue

Thank you for your prompt reply. Only the 22 year old is disabled. I am okay with him continuing to live with me. It has taken me over three years of fighting the Social Security Administration, but I have finally gotten him on S.S.I. The 19 year old is the problem. I have contacted everyone that I know about him but there appears to be no help anywhere for him. I am trying to get some people at the church to help with teaching him how to drive. We live over 100 miles from the nearest large city. There is no public transportation here at all. The town we live near does not even have a red light. So you can guess how small it is and there are no resourses here for teens. In order to be able to get a job one has to be able to drive. I had him in a Transitional Living Program through an agency and all they did was send a case worker out once a week to talk with him. I asked them to help him learn how to ddrive, they could not do that. Everything we asked for help on they could not do. They said they were unable to help him with housing or anything. This was a goverment sponsored program that seemed to pay for the case worker but did nothing to help the youth. I will call your hotline and talk to someone there. Maybe someone will know something that will help. All the money that the goverment is spending to help the kids is not going to them. It is only going to hire more case workers to tell you there is nothing they can do. Sorry about being upset but I have seen so much taken from these kids that it makes me very angry. It does no good to write your elected officials as they either never read your emails or nothing is ever done about it.

[ccsmod6]

Re: Can't continue

Thank you for continuing to share with us. You do not have to apologize for being upset. It sounds like you have dedicated your life to helping youth and you have, in particular, put a lot of energy and time into helping this 19 year old. It is completely understandable that you might be frustrated with that the Transitional Living Program as it sounds like they were unable to help you or the youth in the ways you are looking for. From everything you wrote, it sounds like one of your main concerns right now is figuring out a way for the 19 year old to learn how to drive so that he will be able to find a job. Does that sound right?

If this is your main goal, what have you tried so far to accomplish this? Are you able to teach him how to drive? Is there a driving school in your area that he might attend? Is there a car that he could use to learn?

We are glad that you are planning on calling us. When you do, we can look up resources in your area (or the nearest city) that will hopefully provide the resources and help that you are looking for.

Best of luck,
-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Can't continue

My concern is finding him a place to live as I am not going to be able to continue to keep him. I think that I can with help teach him to drive. The problem is that with no job he will not have a place to live. I don't think that he would survive having to live on the streets and homeless.

[ccsmod6]

Re: Can't continue

Okay—Thanks for clarifying your focus with us. You’re main concern right now is finding your foster child who is 19 years old an alternative place to live. You looked in to one Transitional Living Program already and they were not able to provide the help you and he need and so you are looking for other options. Does that sound right?

It sounds like you have done a lot of work on his behalf already and he is very lucky to have you advocating for him. Do you know what he wants to do? Does he have any ideas? As we mentioned earlier, one option might be Job Corps. They have residential facilities in Memphis, TN (901) 396-2800 and Bristol, TN (423) 878-7034. There is also a place called Youth Villages in Arlington, TN that has a transitional living facility for youth who were in the foster care system. Here is some information about that http://www.youthvillages.org/aboutTrans ... iving.aspx and you can get more information by giving them a call at 901-252-7200. Another option would be contacting these agencies and seeing if they might have some other suggestions for you.

We know that these agencies might not be directly in your area, but it seems like you already are aware that there may not be many services in your area and so it may be that he will have to move to find a transitional living facility. Are you comfortable calling these resources for help or having him call? You are welcome to give us a call anytime so we can talk more about these resources and help you develop a plan.

Good luck,
-NRS