i am 17 with no freedom

[1v1asap]

Ok so i am 17 and i have no freedom. I cant dress how i want to or have my hair how i want to. I am a guy and tired of living with my parents, theyre strict and i really cant do anything. I thought about running away but i dont have any money or any place to stay, but i dont mind running away without any food or shelter because i dont care about starving since i hate my life. So anyways i love my hair and my parents are making me cut it because its too long and too "ridiculous" like they see it. I really want to do what i want with my look but i cant because my parents tell me how to live my life. Im really tired of this s*** and you might think im stupid because of this but its my life. My parents already told me i can get the hell out if i didnt like it, i would if i actually had somewhere but i dont even think they were being for real. They also told me that i could do what ever i want once i am 18 and out of their house. If i were to run away where would i even go where no money or anything. So i need to get my haircut tomorrow or else my dad will prob hit me and cut my hair bald

[ccsmod15]

Re: i am 17 with no freedom

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It must be hard to be in a home where you do not feel you can be yourself. Everyone deserves to be able to wear what makes them comfortable and style their hair the way they want to. It sounds like things have been hard for some time at our house and you are trying to figure out what is best for you. We are glad you reached out and we are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

You mentioned that you are 17 and are wanting to leave home. Here at NRS we are not legal expert, but we can speak in general terms. Generally you are an adult when you turn 18. If you were to leave before then, without your parents’ permission, then they would be able to file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means it is not illegal for you to leave home. Where it can become illegal is for someone that is helping you, whether it is a family member of friend. The severity of the charge can vary from state to state. You had mentioned that your parents have told you are allowed to leave. If your parents decide to change their mind before you turn 18, the police generally will them to file a runaway report, even if they at one time gave your permission.

One thing to keep in mind is that 17 can be a grey area. Some police departments will force you to return home while others will allow you to stay where you are depending on the situation. If you want more direct information you can always contact your local police department.
Another option that you have in terms of a safe place to stay would be a shelter in your area, or one that you are able to get to. You mentioned you are 17, and we are unsure on the laws in your state and when you turn 18, but some shelters require parental permission for you to stay at their shelter. Because you are 17, some shelters may let you stay for a few days before having to contact your parents. Other shelters may allow you to stay with them. If you were to call our hotline we would be able to look those up for you.

We would like to mention that if you are feeling you are being mistreated at home, as you had mentioned that your dad may “hit” you for not cutting your hair, then you have the right to file an abuse report with your state child protective service. No one deserves to be mistreated. The hotline where you can make a report is at 1800-422-4453. If you do not feel comfortable making that report you can always call our hotline and we can the report with you or for you.

Lastly, you are asking some good questions in terms of what you will do once you decide to leave home. Here at NRS we are not here to tell you what to do or tell you what is best for you. Our main concern is you are safe, and we are not to home is the safest place. This is a decision only you can make. This might be a time where you turn to a trusted adult and discuss with them what your options are. In regards to being able to support yourself once you leave home, one option you have is to sell any items.

As we mentioned before our main concern is that you are safe. Here are some questions to ask yourself

-Is where I am going safe?
-What will I do if I ever become unsafe?
-Do I know anyone who is willing to take the risk of harboring a runaway?
-How will I support myself? Food? Money? Shelter?
-Do I have a plan A? B?
-If I were forced back home, what would things look like once I got home?

We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can always give us a call on our hotline or chat with us through our website. We wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing from you.

NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: i am 17 with no freedom

hi, im 16 year old girl and i understand how you feel because my parents are like that too. They are way too strict and im not allowed to do anything i'd like to. I have to dress the way they want me to, look the way they want me to and even act the way they want me to. so basically i cant be the way i want to be.

[ccsmod3]

Re: i am 17 with no freedom

Hello and thanks for reaching out on our forum. We appreciate you taking the time to look at other posts and glad you found one you could relate to, although we’re sorry you’re dealing with strict parents who limit how you dress, act, etc. We want you to know we are here to listen and support you as well as the original poster. If you’d like to talk in more detail, we offer Live Chat (instant messaging) starting at 4:30pm CST today. Or, if there are any questions or additional concerns you have here, we can try our best to continue helping you on our forum. We also have a database if there are any resources you think would help your situation. Best of luck!