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I want to leave, but I'm not sure this is my best option.

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  • I want to leave, but I'm not sure this is my best option.

    So basically, my family (my mom specifically) are excellent manipulators, deceivers, and liars. Keep in mind that I'm adopted.

    My mother has emotionally and verbally abused me for as long as I can remember, and recently it's gotten physical. She has threatened me, explicitly threatening to kill me once, and it's gotten horrendous.

    She drinks, takes my prescription anxiety medication and does not let me have one when I'm having a panic attack, and she's either asleep, at work, or hurting me in some form.

    She is dependent on a woman she met a few years ago. Every decision she makes hinges on whether or not said woman would approve. This woman does not care in the slightest about me or what my mom does to me.

    She has on multiple occasions told me to lie to people of authority (the police, therapists, social services, ect.) as well as to her "friends".

    She has had me baker acted three times for no reason other than she wanted a break from me. I was released early every time.

    She has driven me to attempt suicide once, and then got angry when I woke up from my self-induced medical coma.

    My dad is okay. He tries his best, but cannot support a child on his income, which is around 10,000 to 20,000 a year. He doesn't even have a house of his own right now. So, I love him, but he can't take care of me in the ways I need it.

    My grandmother (my mom's mother) is an enabler, and supports my mom's actions. She doesn't like me, and she pretends she does only in front of others.

    My grandfather (my mom's father) is a doormat. He lets everyone walk all over him. He does not help me at all.

    My aunts (my mom's four sisters) all say I'm weird, strange, and should be locked away in an institution for good. They are also good at lying.

    My uncle (my dad's twin brother) is a hard core alcoholic and is often not safe for me to be around. He has been very physical toward me before.

    My cousin (one of many) raped me because "I'm not real family" and "I need to prove my worth". I was blamed for being "provocative" and "sluttish". What was I thinking, wearing shorts and a tank top in the scorching summer heat of Florida, right? Silly me.

    My stepmom (my dads girlfriend) kicked me out for being a burden and a failure.

    Social services has gotten involved many times, and then chastised me for lying and lectured me about appropriate behaviors and when I should call them.

    The local police have done the same.

    My therapists tell me to grow up, that I'm being "too sensitive", or that I'm lying. They have all been chosen by my mom. They have seen bruises and did not report them.

    Doctors tell me to stop being clumsy and cover up the scratch marks on my arms and neck.

    Teachers look at me funny for wearing scarves and jackets in summer, but do nothing about it, even when I pulled one of them aside and begged for help after one particularity hard night.

    I believe I am suppressing sexual abuse trauma from when I was very young. My mom denies anything of the sort, but I have very vivid dreams sometimes and this was before I was raped as well. I was a bedwetter, had night terrors, had horrible social phobias and was terrified of the dark until the age of ten.

    I have various mental health concerns for myself, all from what has been done to me by my family, including OCD (I have strong tendencies toward this stemming from various coping mechanisms), general anxiety (for obvious reasons), depression (once again, obvious) and even other more intense diagnoses that I wont get into here.

    I'm in Wisconsin right now, but I live in Florida. I need to go somewhere else, and I do have a plan set up just in case. I know that in most states running away is not illegal, especially with a good reason.

    I don't have any specific places to go, but I have a general direction and know some good people that live there. If worst comes to worst I can leave in as little as five days.

    I have sixty dollars, basic supplies, a map book, and some non-perishable food items at my disposal. I have access to a four wheeler that can take me pretty far.

    If the police found me here, in Wisconsin, can my grandparents legally force me to stay with them? More importantly, can my parents claim me from Florida while I'm here?

    I am fifteen years old, and I was adopted. My birth mother was fifteen, on too many drugs to count, and is unreachable as of now. She didn't know who my father was.

    The whole thing has escalated to a point that it is unbearable. Is it worth it to try to wait three years, or should I find another place that's no doubt safer in the meantime?

    I have a dog at home, but my mom was already going to give him away as punishment for doing bad in school. She cut an ear of off both of my cats. She killed my hamster, two of my previous dogs, and gave away my python. So I have no real reason to stay at home except for legal reasons.

    Basically, my family is very abusive, ignorant, and treats me like absolute s***.

    My name is J, I'm fifteen years old, and I have a plan but I don't know if I should resort to it quite yet. I know it can get quit messy.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and answer my questions. It means a lot to me. I hope you have a good day/night.

  • #2
    re: I want to leave but I'm not sure this is my best option

    Hi J,

    It seems like you have really been through a lot of hard times with your mom and your family. They don't seem to be very supportive for you. Most importantly they don't seem to be creating a healthy environment. It's understandable to be concerned about your mental health in situations like these. You are very strong for being able to reach out for help.

    In general, leaving home without permission can be stressful as well. Leaving without a plan can end up putting you in harmful situations. We aren't legal experts here, so we don't know for sure what kinds of rights your parents or grandparents have specifically. Your mom is your legal guardian according to the law, so she has a right to file a runaway report for you. Now, if for some reason the police in Wisconsin become aware of this, there is a chance they would make you go to them until you can get to your mom. Either way, the police usually do abide by runaway reports in making youth go back home. If you are still feeling that you need to leave, you may want to consider how you will survive. You mentioned some things you plan to bring, but those things are temporary. You would need to think long term. If you are on your own and not with your mom anymore, how will you support yourself in the future?

    It may be helpful to talk with a crisis hotline called RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) they can be helpful with talking to someone on your own about the things you have experienced. They may be able to suggest some options for you locally if they have access to those resources. They can be reached at 1-800-656-4673.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST

    Take care and good luck!
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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