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17 leaving home, CT, without parental consent

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  • 17 leaving home, CT, without parental consent

    Hello, I'm 17 years old and I want to live with a friend. No physical abuse, and the story is a long one, (my mother and I don't get along, and haven't for like 8 years) so i'll skip to the key points.

    I'm not 18 (birthday in Nov.)
    Leaving without consent

    Can an officer bring me home?
    Do I HAVE to go with him?
    Can the people i'm moving in with get into legal trouble?

  • #2
    Re: 17 leaving home, CT, without parental consent

    Thanks for posting on our bulletin boards. It sounds like you want some legal information concerning leaving without consent. It’s important to note that we’re not lawyers nor can we give specific legal information. However, we can let you know about the general policy and procedure concerning runaways.

    When it comes to leaving without consent, there are several different possible outcomes. In most states a parent can file a youth under 18 as a runaway when they leave without permission. The normal “procedure” for how the police handle runaways is they take the report and if they know where you are/find you, they will pick you up and bring you back home. Usually the only way an officer won’t bring you home is if the youth expresses that they’re not safe at home. In that case, they would contact Child Protective Services instead and CPS would then do an investigation to determine whether the home was safe or not. Obviously there are several outcomes to CPS as well, but you mentioned in your post that there’s not physical abuse, so it’s possible they would place you back at home.

    Every police department is different though and a lot of this depends on the individual police department’s discretion. 17 is a gray area for a lot of police departments. Most police departments consider youth a runaway and will make them go home up until the day they turn 18. A few police departments, may still consider the 17 year old youth a runaway, but won’t necessarily make them go home. And even fewer police departments consider 17 an adult and won’t even take a runaway report. The best way to find out the procedure in your area is to actually contact the local police department.

    As far as the people you’re staying with goes, there is a possibility that they could get in trouble. A lot of states consider it illegal to “harbor a runaway” or “contribute to the delinquency of a minor”. This usually applies to adults that allow a runaway youth to stay with them and don’t call the youth’s parents or the police to let them know that the youth is staying with them. Again, this depends on what the laws in your area are.

    We hope this helps you make a more informed decision. If you have any more questions or want to talk more in depth about any of this, feel free to call us anytime. Our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, is available 24/7. Best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I’m 17, I turn 18 in 4 months (April) I live in Connecticut. If I were to leave the house I live in now without parental consent can I be arrested for being a run away? How can I leave without getting in legal trouble

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like things at home are a bit tough right now.

        We are always here if you’d ever want to talk about your situation more. We are not legal experts, but one thing to note is that if you decided to leave home, your parents would be able to file a runaway report with the local police department. If the police were to find you, they would have to return you back home to your parents. You mentioned that you turn 18 in four months, we have seen police not take runaway reports on 17 year olds. We offer to call out with youth to their local police station to find out exactly what they do.
        Again, we are glad that you decided to contact us. We’re always here to listen and help in any way that we can. If you’re interested in talking more about your situation, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7 and are a completely confidential hotline. We also have a database of resources that may help in your situation.

        Be safe and good luck,

        NRS

    • #4
      I turn 18 in three months yet I cannot take another three months at home. My family is a mess and I’m constantly targeted and get everyone’s anger taken out on me. I try my best to help my parents out, giving them money whenever they need it (mind u I’m only making 100 a week bc I’m also in high school) and watching my baby brother while they’re at work. Nothing I do is appreciated and I have made it known that I want to move out and now they won’t let me leave my house. If I leave without consent will the police make me come back home? My parents will know exactly where I’m at, which is my boyfriend of two years home. Please help, I’m hopeless.

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time at home and you’re doing the best you can. It must be very frustrating to feel like your parents don’t appreciate your efforts to help them out. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking 18 is the age at which you can leave home without parental consent. If you leave home without consent, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report. That being said, sometimes police officers choose not to take or pursue a runaway report for 17 year olds, particularly if they are very close to being 18. It might help to call your local non-emergency police line and ask if they take runaway reports for 17-year-olds. If you’d like to talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or to use our chat function on our website. Best of luck to you.

    • #5
      If I leave home, without my parent's consent, after I turn 18, will I be in trouble still?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        First of all thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline!

        We here at NRS are not legal experts, but for the most part if you are over the age of 18 you are legally considered an adult. That means that you would be able to leave home without the consent of your guardians and without any police involvement. The fact that you’re still in school, shouldn’t affect the fact that you are still a legal adult. If you want to make sure that is the case, you can contact your local police department and ask them hypothetically if you are 18 whether or not you would get into legal trouble for leaving home. If you are uncomfortable with doing that feel free to contact us at any time to find that number for you and contact them on your behalf.

        Feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you good luck with everything!

    • #6
      I am 17 and my parents are going to kick me out for having a girlfriend but I want to leave sooner.
      I’ve been told by my parents that I have depression (a mental illness) because I am lazy and listening to satins lies? I can’t live with these people anymore and they want me out but won’t allow me to call anyone, find a job, or find a place to stay. Their whole gripe with me is that I’m dating someone who is a year younger than me which they say is against the law... which is false. Only a sexual relationship with a between two minors would be illegal. I want to move in with my girlfriend and her parents but I’m not 18 yet and I can’t stay here for that long. They will not allow me to leave the house until I’m 18 even though legally I can leave without consent at 16 so am I protected? What can I do if I can’t leave or contact anyone?
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-01-2018, 01:18 AM.

      Comment


      • #7
        Hi I’m 17 years old and I live in CT ... I left my mothers house and went with my dad and now I have to call the cops and tell them that I’m okay and safe ... I left because I don’t feel safe at home; I’m physically, mentally, and verbally abused ... I get treated like crap soooo I left ... Soo now when I call the cops I’m afraid that they tell me I have to return home .. What should I do ?

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You were courageous to reach out to us and also share about your story. It sounds like you are now in a safe place and away from an abusive household. Being 17 you are in grey area for the police’s responsibility to have to take you back home. You could potentially call the police non-emergency line anonymously and ask them what there protocol is for 17 year olds. If this is something you feel nervous about, you can call into us at our hotline and we can call out for you!
          It is unclear if your mom is aware that you are safe, but that could also be another potential avenue to communicate with her and let her know your safe. It may be also good to clarify if she even filed a runaway report. Also, police are mandated reported and if they are aware of the abuse going on and they see that you are in a safe place they make you return home. If they are unresponsive to the abuse you could file a report to child protective services at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. It’s hard to say the result of reporting but in most cases there would be a potential investigation and best living situation is an option that may be discussed.
          We are here for you and will support you in any way that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

      • #8
        Hi, I am 17 and my birthday is in just a year. So today i got into a huge verbal argument with my family (parents mostly) this morning. I asked very simple to call me absence or say an excuse (like I’m sick) to my school so I could use all of today to prepare for my so midterms. They kept saying no and that it was in short, morally wrong. I am from a strict Asian Christian family and we take those beliefs very seriously even though we don’t since they constantly do hypocritical actions. Anyways, in short they got mad, I got mad and it escalated where I actually called local police. Two detectives came to see what’s up, my parents told me that it was a family dispute then somehow turned the blame towards me (at that point it just more than my “excuse”, it was the lack of communication between me and my parents or simply listening). The detectives understandably were angry because they got better stuff to do and lectured me to go to school and besides they got better things to do like I said. When they left, my parents tried to use this incident and turned the blame against me and listen to the detectives even though they didn’t really understand the situation. So i got so angry that the shouting continue between me and my parents. It gotten to the point where they just flat out said that they don’t care what I said and that I was just mentally ill like those stupid teens who killed themselves (they literally admitted that, not exactly but it was like that). So my anger reached a boiling point where I was meant to punch my dad but accidentally my sister because she was trying to cool down the argument. I legit felt bad and my hand started to shake so my parents used that event against me again and threatened to kick me out. My brother saw it and called the cops again so multiple patrol cops were at my drive away, and the patrol officers were pretty cool (unlike the detectives) and tried to offer a reasonable solution like a form for patrol officers checking stressted out families. They left and it was cooled down and at that point I was tired to shout anymore while my parents still lectured me that I’m mentally ill. A few minutes passed by and the school was informed about the family emergency (from two police reports) so I gonna talk to my counselor or whoever is involved. My real question is this. If they threaten to kick me out and I actually leave during that argument, does that count as child abandonment? If I were to go to either of my friends house to stay for a while, can that pose a risk for them? I’m just confused at this point and I know this event will happen where I will just flat out leave just to avoid all the verbal abuse from them.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you had a lot going on this morning, and seems difficult to deal with. When things escalate you could consider talking calmly and taking deep breaths when you become angry or upset. Also for preparing for your exams you could try studying after school and waking up early and studying some more. If you miss school you may become behind and it could take a few days to catch up.
          We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the runaway laws. If your parent’s kick you out before you are 18 years of age that could be considered as neglect. If you wish to make a report you can call the non-emergency police department or The Child Help Line at: 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making a report can be scary, if you would like our help you can call us at any time. If you were to leave home without your parent’s permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. You can consider asking your parent’s for permission to leave home. Also you mentioned talking to a counselor that would be a good resource for you they may be able to provide you with support.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more please feel free to give us a call. We are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
          NRS

      • #9
        Hello There,
        Im a 16 year old wanting to become emancipated minor. I was wondering can a emancipated minor move out of state without parent permission. Can they get in trouble if they get reported by their parents ?

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there, we want to thank you for reaching out and we want you to know that we support you! You sound like a very independent and brave individual, and we will try to help in any way we can.

          While we are not legal experts, in most cases, once a minor is emancipated, they are declared a legal adult, and can move where they please. However, the emancipation process is believed to require your parent(s) consent. We can give you more information on the emancipation process if you call in to our hotline, and give you legal services to call to get the ball rolling. Legal services, once you call them, will give you more specific information on this. In many cases, emancipation will require you to provide evidence that you can manage your financial affairs, you are married, or are active in the U.S. military service.

          Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help, and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. Through our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, we offer information, referrals, crisis intervention services, conference calling and message service, and more. If you ever feel like you need our help or would like to talk further about your situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us through our many platforms. We’re here to listen, here to help.

      • #10
        Hi, I am 17 years old and a foster kid in CT. My biological mother's rights were terminated when I was a little kid, but recently DCF decided that I can move back in with her. They are having a hard time finding a way to get me back with her, partially because of the TPR, and also because she lives in Maine. The whole process has been put on pause recently because of COVID-19 and we are concerned that I wont be able to get to her by the start of the school year, which would raise issues and potentially cause the state to change their minds. We have exhausted many other ideas and options, including but not limited to emancipation and transfer of guardianship through my aunt. I have already been through over 10 foster homes and 2 failed adoptions, and have to move again next month. Theoretically, what would happen if I caught a bus to Maine with my mother? Would she get in trouble? Would I get sent back? What if she notified authorities when I arrived and made it seem like I just showed up without her knowledge, but I refuse to return? (In The state of Maine you cannot get into trouble for harboring a 17 year old runaway, but in Connecticut 17 year olds are considered the "gray area")

        Thank you!

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you have been going through a super frustrating time right now, especially with everything going on with COVID-19.
          We do offer a program that does help with transportation it is called Home Free. The program is for youth ages 12-21 who are at risk, you would need to call us to see if you qualify. The program works by you calling us and we would explore your situation. If you do qualify we would help you with transportation by providing you a free bus ticket through Greyhound. You can call us at any time at : 1800-786-2929.
          You mentioned if you showed up at your mom’s would you get in trouble. From our understanding if DC is allowing you to go and trying to find transportation you would not get in trouble. Now if DCF was not allowing you to go if the police were to find you they could bring you back home.
          We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here to help and we are here to listen. We wish you the best of luck!
          NRS

      • #11
        Just a quick question for a friend, my friends mom and dad treat him like just some kid and give him the bare minimum as their child. They mess with him mentally and then hide it with adults by saying they dont know what he's talking about and such. Its really messing with my friend and I really just want him to be ok. Is it justifiable to run away from home in this situation?

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to run away. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
          Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
          Take care,
          NRS

      • #12
        Hi, I am a 16 year old female in CT. I was wondering if I can legally live with my 19 year old boyfriend and his parents without my parents consent. I am miserable here and I recently have went through a lot of traumatic experiences such as being raped a few months ago and then trying to kill myself a few months after. My mother does not acknowledge these and thinks I use my mental health as an excuse. It makes it very hard to live here. I need somewhere to live where I can be happy.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you so much for contacting us and sharing a bit of your story. We are extremely sorry to hear you have had to deal with the trauma of rape and the additional trauma of your rape not being taken seriously by your mother. That is absolutely wrong and very hurtful. One thing that many victims of rape have found helpful is talking to others about what happened in a safe and trustworthy setting. That can be with a therapist, support group, or anyone you feel comfortable talking to. There is an organization that provides caring support for people that have been through what you've been through: the Rape, Abuse, Incest, Naitonal Network (RAINN) and their contact information is www.rainn.org, 1-800-656-4673. You don't have to face this alone.

          Just so you know, your mom not taking your rape seriously could be considered parental neglect and you could file an abuse report on that. You can do that through us, through an organization called Child Help (www.childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453)

          We are pretty concerned about your past suicide attempt. You must have been in tremendous anguish to want to do that. Again, talking to others can be the first step toward healing some of the deep wounds you have. If you ever feel suicidal again you can call 1-800-273-8255 or just dial 911. Another resource you may want to look into for counseling is www.samhsa.gov, 1-877-726-4727. Of course, you can also call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our website: www.1800runaway.org.

          Now, as for your question about moving out at 16. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. If you'd like more information on emancipation in Connecticut you can reach out to Connecticut Legal Services at 203-756-8074.

          Please know that even though things are really difficult for you, it can get better. You can be happy, there's no doubt about that. We hope you will reach out to some of the above agencies and resources. And of course, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Please stay safe. You deserve a bright future.

          All the best,
          NRS

      • #13
        I am running away today are there any safe places in CT to go to for a 17 year old runaway

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there.
          First of all, thank you so much for reaching out to us today. We know it can be difficult and scary.
          In terms of leaving home, we want to make sure you are going to a safe place. It sounds like you have decided you are leaving and one option is to stay with any family members of friends that would be willing to take you in. Another resource you can look at is homelessshelterdirectory.org. You can type in your city and state and reach out to some of the available shelters to see if they have a spot open for you.
          Lastly, you are more than welcome to reach out anytime to get more resources or discuss the situation more. We are available over livechat at 1800runaway.org or over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) 24/7.
          Best of luck and stay strong,
          NRS
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