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I'm 14 and I need to get out of my house.

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  • #46
    Hi, I’m 14 and my mum is telling me to leave and get the ******** out of the house, we have a long history of clashing and butting heads but over the years it has gotten progressively worse, I feel trapped and stressed, as soon as someone raises their voice even if it’s not directed at me I get anxiety and I get stressed, my mum verbally abuses me, she screams and shouts about how I’m “so ungrateful” and that i “have no respect” and that I have a bad attitude, she also calls me names and tells me to shut the ******** up . At this point it’s hard to explain things because of everything that has happened iv gone to school counseling and spoken to teachers I trust, but at the end of the day they all believe my mother because she’s as perfect as a rose whenever she’s around others, I’m the liar, I’m full of ********, I get suicidal thoughts on the daily and I don’t know how much more I can take of this crap. At one point around the end of last year she was being aggressive and she cam and whacked me in the head, I had had enough of her crap, so I pushed her back with my feet because I was on my bed cornered, I snapped, I told her if she tried anything again or came near me I would snap. I was just so scared of her and I still am. I have no door where we live, so she can always see and hear everything, we have daily arguments and disagreements, we had figured things out for a while, and then things have started to go down hill again, we have had more and more arguments and it’s mostly about money or how I don’t do anything around the house, I know I am privileged compared to most children who have more issues, my mum pays for my school and sports payments, buys me the clothes I need, and is generous, but then she just goes and throws it all in my face afterwards, I would trade everything just to have a safe environment, she doesn’t seem to get that. Today everything just got worse, I said that I need more space for clothes and that I might sell or most likely throw out some old dresses, I don’t go anywhere fancy to wear them, this is when the argument broke out, she started screaming at me and being hostile, I was fighting back and I threw one of the dresses out of my room and said “find space in your wardrobe” I had no other place to put my frustration, she storemed and and got in my face, screaming at me, she shoved me really hard in the chest, I snapped again and I pushed her back, we got physical and had a big fight. She wants me out of the house she took my phone and my new laptop, but I can keep my ipad cuz my nan paid for half, I have 100$ in cash, she asked if I was staying and I said yes but I would just keep to myself, I hide in my room most of the time but I do not think I can take anymore of this crap, we also live with her girlfriend (my mums getting les) and she has been abusive in the past too, my mumtakes her frustration from her relationship out on me too.I don’t want to speak to my father because he sides with my mum and I’m sure he’s doesn’t want me, my grandparents live in another state over, but I have a life here and my friends that I feel safe around, I have moved around my entire life and I only just started to feel stable in school. What should I do, talking to my mother is a death zone and her way is always right, I don’t have a bf or anything so there is no underlying issues there.
    I live in Australia

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. It is not okay for your mom to threaten to kick you and to hit you. Home is supposed to be safe and from what you shared your mom is making you scared to live with her. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #47
    I have depression and I can't live in my house cause its so stressful and I can't breathe in it etc. Its just too much of a bad living arrangement and I just want to live on my own since I will sooner or later anyways.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Living in a stressful environment is hard enough on its own, and we can only imagine how strong you must be to handle it with depression, too. Already having an awareness about your mental health, however, can be helpful. For example, do you know when things at home might make your depression worse? If you want to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are more than ready to have a conversation with you to explore triggers to your depression, discuss options to help you cope, or just listen to you explain your situation as we work on a plan together. We are here to help in whatever way you want.
      You mention wanting to live on your own. We are non-directive here, meaning we do not tell anyone to do or to NOT do anything. However, we want you know to know some general information to keep you safe and informed. If you are under the age of majority (usually 18 years old), your legal guardian has the right to give you permission to leave the home. If you leave without that permission, you would be considered a runaway. Your guardian may make a runaway report with the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is what’s called a ‘status offense.’ This means that if you are already in trouble with the law (like you’re on probation), it could make your situation worse.
      If leaving home without permission is something you wish to do, we would rather have you safe and off the street than in a park or with someone you do not know well. We have a database full of shelters across the country. If you want to explore what options might be around you, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Again, we are here only to help in whatever way you want and to support you.
      Thanks again for your message, and please be safe.

  • #48
    I'm 15, and I hate living with my mum. Like I hate it and her. Ever since I got into high school I've had a rough time. My mum decided I was old enough to find out that I was basically a mistake and that her and my dad accidentally had me and were debating on whether or not to get an abortion. If I'm honest I don't think I ever needed to know that and I'm not gonna be able to look at her in the same way I used to. On top of that me and her always argue, in front of my younger siblings, in front of her boyfriend. Now my Dad stopped seeing me when I was about 6 or 7 and my mum makes me feel like I'm to blame for that. When I was 11 I began self-harming and had a lot of suicidal thoughts. I kinda stopped doing that because things turned around but it's like she saw I was fine again and now just carries on with her old ways. I'm always being verbally abused by her and she encourages my younger siblings to do the same. I know it seems pathetic but all this is really getting to me and I'm honestly on the verge of breaking. I can't live with my mum anymore I literally feel myself slowly losing all my energy and just giving up. Please get me out of here.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      First of all thanks for writing in today it can be difficult to make that first step and it show a lot courage on your part. It not cool that your mom is putting you down and encouraging your young sibling to do the same. Parents should be encouraging. You mentioned self-harming if that something you interested in exploring for help there is website called Adolescent Self Injury Foundation and talks about some ways to do deal with self-harming. If you ever having though suicidal though you can always call in here or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). We do have conference call options were we could act as an in-between with you and your mom. It’s important to remember that you are never alone.
      Thank you and good luck
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

  • #49
    I’m 14 and I’m not tryna live with my crack or meth head mom and she lives in a trailer with no power or way to clean myself. How is it possible to move out and legally with my friend that is a better environment?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-26-2019, 07:25 AM.

    Comment


    • #50

      I’m 14 and I’m not tryna..

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home (such as neglect), you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

      If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


      Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.

      Take care,
      NRS

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #51
        I have a friend that lives in a house down the road. She is verbally abused all the time and forces to do all the work around the house. Her parents call it chores but she does everything and they do nothing! She wants to get out of there because her mom is verbally and sometimes physically abusive! But her mom says she's grounded and isn't aloud to se any friends or anyone outside of her house. They argue a lot and her mom has told her to leave and go with the cops before, but when she does leave to stay with a friend they make her come back home! Her mom is crazy and screams in her face all the time bullying her calling her ugly and stupid! Just talking down to her! She comes to the point where she makes it look like she's caused physical harm as a cry for attention. She used to always be at my house almost liek she lived here, her parents didn't care. They took all of her stuff away and is forced to stay in her room and when she comes out she gets screamed at. I know this may sound like a normal grounding when she has to stay in her room, but it's been 2 months, and she just sits there with no friends or comfort. Her family all bully her and talk down to her like she's trash, and she starts to believe them! She wants to be emancipated but is afraid and we have no way of talking to her without her parents so she can tell them she wants to, truth is she is terrified of her mom. And if she leaves her house to come here, technically they can't make her come home because they've told her to leave before? Right? I just wanna help my best friend what do I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on at home. It shows a lot that you reached out to us, situations like these can be hard to navigate and it can sometimes be hard to reach out but the fact that you did is huge, that is something worth being proud of. It sounds like you truly care about your friend and want o help her as best as you can.
          If your friend feels like they are in danger at home and need emergency services, they always have the right to call 911 for police and other emergency services. We want you to know we care about their wellbeing and safety.
          It sounds like your friend has been through quite an amount of pain from their parents. They don't deserve to be isolated from everyone or harmed in any way including being verbally and physically abused. It is not okay to be talked down to and bullied by her family. If they do feel abused or that their parent’s actions are abusive, they do have the right to report what is going on. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource that can help answer any questions they have about what reporting abuse looks like, what abuse is, and they can also assist in reporting if your friend chooses to do so. We are also here 24/7 to help as well to discuss reporting as an option or to report as well if they choose to do so. There are many outcomes to reporting and Child Protective Services try to keep the youth’s best interest in mind and safety as the top priority.

          You mentioned your friend has come to your house for support which sounds like you are a good support system for her. We aren’t legal experts, but if they are under the general age of adulthood of 18 years old in the US and has been kicked out by her family that is illegal as they are legally responsible for them until they turn 18. They have the legal responsibility of housing her and she has the right to report that they have kicked her out to the police.
          That being said, if she does come to live with you and/or someone else and her family tries to file a runaway report for her saying she ran away when they kicked her out, you have the right to inform the police of that information. You mentioned that you would not want to get in trouble for helping her which is understandable. The main way someone would get in trouble for housing a youth is if they are a runaway/have a runaway report filed on them and they are found at your house. As we mentioned above, if she has been kicked out she is not considered a runaway.
          There is a risk of if her family had told her to leave previously, but on the day she leaves home, if she chooses to do so, the police may say that is not being kicked out. The best way to get the clearest information on what the police may do is to reach out to your local non-emergency police in her area. They may be able to answer any information on the protocol for being kicked out and give more information on what they may do. You also do not have to do this alone, we are always here to help advocate for your friend and can call on their behalf or with the on the phone line to try to talk to the police department. We are confidential and we can assist with asking confidential questions to the police without sharing any information your friend does not want us to. If they feel more comfortable calling on their own, they also do not have to share any information they do not want to as well and ask those confidential questions.
          As a reminder, we are here to help sort through things with you and your friend and identify a plan that is safest and best for them. We do truly care about you and your friend and understand it must be an incredibly frustrating situation she is in. We are always here to listen and help brainstorm options that you and your friend feel may best fit her situation. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24/7 and we also have an online chat system at 1800runaway.org if you or your friend wants to chat with us. We hope to hear from you soon!


          Best, NRS

      • #52
        I am 14 and ever since I was 4 I had a bed wetting problem that was the beginning of all of this catastrophe I’m in. So I was 4 and started bed wetting and couldn’t control it . It kept happening till the age of 11 .up until that age, I have been verbally abused during that whole period and sometimes physically. I would be scared ********less to go to bed and so I stayed awake for days on end.btw all of this abuse was 90% by my mom. Anyway fast forward like 1 year. My mom becomes crazily abusive for externally petty thing and occasionally tells me I ruined her life and my dad’s and sisters life. And followed by telling me to kill my self. She never ever apologizes for telling me these stuff. And now, 5 days ago, she threatens me telling me that if I don’t get in shape she will destroy this family, and with no other option, I accepted the offer because I don’t want my little sister to have a hard childhood like I did. Fast forward to this morning, I want to go the gym to workout to gain my access to using electronics ( part of the deal with mom) my dad wants me to record everything because he doesn’t trust that I will do it, and let’s be honest I can’t ********ing record myself running 3 kelometrrs and so when I decline, he grabs my keyboard and smashes it in front of me, and starts screaming and lashing punches in the air in every direction as my sister cries and my mom holds her in fear, that’s when he looks at me and then tells me “ either you obey you slave, or here’s the door you **********”. And so I left, and every one tells me to go back because I have no other choice , and tbh if that was mundane last option, I’d rather kill myself. Best part is that i come from an Arab family, and this is considered a little overreacting. Tbh every one tells me I’m overreacting and they may br right, but I have set my mind, either I’m out of that house or out of This life , please help

        Comment


        • #53
          Hello!
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. It was really brave of you to reach out to us. It sounds like things are really difficult at home. You definitely deserve to be treated better. You mention suicide a couple of times. We take this very seriously as your safety is our first priority. If you are having these thoughts you can reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their number is 1800-273-8255. They can help provide you with support during this difficult time.

          The abuse going on at home is dangerous. We understand that it might be challenging to reach out to someone about it. If things ever get to the point where they are dangerous you can always call 911. We understand if you might not be comfortable with that. Another option is that you can call Child Help. They can help you report the abuse as well as offer support to you. Their number is 1800-422-4453.

          Another resource you might find helpful is NAMI. They are the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They can help talk with you about everything that has been going on in your life and provide local resources to help you further. You can call them at 1800-950-NAMI or you can text NAMI to 741741. IT was very brave of you to reach out to us. We are always here to offer additional support via our live chat at www.1800runaway.org or you can call us 1800-786-2929. We are available 24/7 and are completely confidential.

          Stay safe!
          The National Runaway Safeline
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #54
            I understand your pain
            Last edited by ccsmod6; 11-03-2019, 07:07 PM.

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